Carer's Allowance etc ...

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Disability Money Matters
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OneYorkshireLassOneYorkshireLass Forumite
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edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Disability Money Matters
My gran tells me that she is getting carer's allowance for looking after my grandad, and that he is getting it for looking after her (she has two new knees). Trouble is, my grandad now has vascular dementia and can't do anything for himself, never mind my gran.

If they alert the DWP would my gran need a new assessment, or would they just stop the payments being made for my grandad caring for my gran? Do the DWP accept letters/calls from other people? My gran can barely read or write and cannot handle paperwork/money.

Also, my gran won't let anyone in the house to clean and it is filthy. It's a four storey house and they've lived there for 50 years - my gran has said she will never leave.
The family offer but she tells us not to. It's getting worse - there's stuff on every surface and I hate to call it 'junk' as it's their belongings, but it IS junk. My gran never throws anything away. The cupboards are stuffed with junk and even though I offer to sort through then with her just to try and tidy them, she won't let me. She's content to sit and watch her soaps and reality TV all day. The floors are covered in bits of biscuit and general dust, hair, etc as she doesn't clean and won't let anyone near the hover.
My grandad is incontinent and the house smells of urine. My gran complains that she 'has to do everything' but when we offer solutions she won't accept them.

I believe he's also being neglected. She leaves him for hours on end in one room alone. He doesn't really take much interest in the TV now and just sits and stares at the room. We can't take jigsaws or games or anything as there's nowhere to put them - and moving anything annoys my gran. She also calls my grandad names and doesn't seem to understand that the illness is making him do and say strange things. We try and tell her but she changes the subject.

Any advice would be appreciated.
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  • I really think you need to speak to social services. Strictly speaking your Gran needs to end the claim for CA, and if you report it without her consent it could lead to an investigation. SS would be able to deal with this side of it, and also do their best to work out what is best for both of them care wise.
  • OneYorkshireLassOneYorkshireLass Forumite
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    I really think you need to speak to social services. Strictly speaking your Gran needs to end the claim for CA, and if you report it without her consent it could lead to an investigation. SS would be able to deal with this side of it, and also do their best to work out what is best for both of them care wise.

    My mum spoke to SS when my grandad was first diagnosed. They did some sort of assessment - recommended my grandparents have a shower installed - and closed the file.

    In other words, they were as good as useless.
    And there's still no shower. My grandparents couldn't be without a bathroom while it was being fitted and no one else in the family can take them in for a day as they both need a stairlift.
  • My mum spoke to SS when my grandad was first diagnosed. They did some sort of assessment - recommended my grandparents have a shower installed - and closed the file.

    In other words, they were as good as useless.
    And there's still no shower. My grandparents couldn't be without a bathroom while it was being fitted and no one else in the family can take them in for a day as they both need a stairlift.

    Was someone other than Gran at the assessment? Have they been told how bad things have become? They cannot act if they only know half the story (and they cannot fit a shower if they can't get access!).

    With regard to the hoarding, this is common with people of that age group. But that alone should not make the place dirty - so be sure to focus on the cleanliness issue rather than the fact that they keep junk.

    You may well have to push things with SS, but you need to be constructive about it, and completely honest.
  • OneYorkshireLassOneYorkshireLass Forumite
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    My dad was there, but he's not one to push things, and at the time I wasn't well enough to be there. My gran doesn't like people interferring, especially SS, so she moans each time someone from the family speaks on her behalf. SS refused to keep the file open, so I suppose we have to start again - from the first phone call last time it took about 8 weeks before the assessment happened.

    One of the social workers commented to my gran that she has a lot of belongings and that it would be better for my grandad if she had a sort out. My grandad struggles to move around the house as the rooms and hallways are crammed with stuff. My gran hasn't had a sort out, and even with the offer of help, refuses to do it.

    There's also no central heating in the house, my gran sleeps in a bedroom where the wallpaper is peeling off the walls because it's damp, the bathroom is not really used (my grandad hasnt had a wash in weeks, I found that out today) as they both have dodgy knees and can't use the bath even with a hoist in it, and apparently there's little hot water upstairs.

    What really upsets me is that people outside the family - neighbours and such like who my gran does let in - probably wonder why they are living like that, and wonder why we, as a family, don't help. We'd love to help, but my gran just won't let us. She likes her routine and says she's going out of that house in a box. She doesn't realise that my grandad is suffering because of her stubborness.
  • Torry_QuineTorry_Quine Forumite
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    I would agree with contacting Social Services and also the GP(s) as they possibly don't know how bad the situation is. You didn't mention how old they are but if they' re over pension age and in receipt of state pension then they can't actually get carer's allowance. A call to a benefits advisor may be needed to ensure that they're getting the right benefits.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • OneYorkshireLassOneYorkshireLass Forumite
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    The GP surgery has been informed previously and they didn't seem bothered, just put us onto SS who closed the file after their recommendation of a shower.

    They are in their 80s. I'm not sure if my grandad gets a state pension. I know he has a private one as I've seen the paperwork. I assume my gran gets a state one as she only ever had small jobs.
    I vaguely remember a benefits check they had at home - this would've been last year before things got too bad. I have an inkling that the benefits person who came to the house told my gran to get the carer's allowance.
    I will have to check that out. Thanks.
  • Richie-from-the-BoroRichie-from-the-Boro Forumite
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    You need to consider unforeseen circumstances :

    - after a lifetime together they may be 'split up' with one continuing in the marital home and your dad into care
    - and the fact that your intervention [ no matter how well intended ] may lead to your mother may disowning and hating you

    The SS with your parents agreement can send in a 'team' of about 6 people and several skips and improve their circumstances. However without their agreement for the disposal, they can do nothing other than certificate them as ' not able to care for themselves' with resulting consequences.

    - you need to consider unforeseen circumstances
    Disclaimer : Everything I write on this forum is my opinion. I try to be an even-handed poster and accept that you at times may not agree with these opinions or how I choose to express them, this is not my problem. The Disabled : If years cannot be added to their lives, at least life can be added to their years - Alf Morris - ℜ
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    I would agree with contacting Social Services and also the GP(s) as they possibly don't know how bad the situation is. You didn't mention how old they are but if they' re over pension age and in receipt of state pension then they can't actually get carer's allowance. A call to a benefits advisor may be needed to ensure that they're getting the right benefits.

    Yes, they can but what they're probably receiving is an "underlying entitlement" to CA which gives them some extra money but not the full amount.
  • Torry_QuineTorry_Quine Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    Yes, they can but what they're probably receiving is an "underlying entitlement" to CA which gives them some extra money but not the full amount.

    That isn't what was said though, it stated that they both received carer's allowance not that they got an underlying entitlement for receiving their pensions.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    That isn't what was said though, it stated that they both received carer's allowance not that they got an underlying entitlement for receiving their pensions.

    It's probably just a short-hand way of saying it. I say my parents both get CA when they're receiving the underlying entitlement.
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