Help with covering letter

thepurplegoldfish

Hi All

I've been trying for a good 6 months to find work and I seem to be getting nowhere, I know times are hard and a lot of people are in the same boat, but I'm not getting to the interview stage (with the exception of 2).

Is there something wrong with my CV and covering letter? I thought I'd done a relatively good job, clearly not that good I guess.

Here's my CV (I've removed some identifiable details marked with ***)


I’m an extremely hard working, reliable, honest individual. I undertake an exceptional professional demeanour in everything I do, especially when dealing with business clients/customers. I am happy to undertake any task requested and regard any new responsibilities as learning opportunities.
My excellent communication skills make me a good team member, whilst my intuitiveness ensures my success when called upon to work alone. I have the necessary skills and enthusiasm to absorb any new working practices. I work well under pressure and thrive on a challenge whist ensuring all tasks are met with a high level of accuracy. My outgoing personality and ability to relate to people in all areas enables me to be highly customer focused whilst still looking at business needs and targets.

2005- 2009 ***company name*** North Tyneside

Platinum Customer Service Agent
I dealt with customers who had expressed a wish to leave the network due to previous poor customer service and bad technical support. My main aim was resolving customer issues and ensuring they feel like valued clients. I would use my excellent customer service and sales skills to overcome objections, with the overall objective to get customers to re-new their contracts. If I couldn’t solve the customer’s issue alone I would often liaise with other departments to resolve any issues.

I was also an elected employee representative (ECON), I was part of the team that shares information and discuss issues affecting employees within their specific business area with the management team. Being a member of ECON my aim was to promote an understanding of the local and broader business environment. As part of the ECON team my aim was to enhance the relationship between employees and management at local level, and to enable employees and management alike to accept change and the need for change. This in turn is for the mutual benefit of maintaining the future commercial success of the company.


2003-2005 ***Company Name*** Newcastle upon Tyne

Bar Staff
Whilst working at ***Company Name***, I completed all main tasks that would be expected of a bar person. This would include the serving of alcoholic beverages; food and the cash handling that came along with this. I would have to also make sure that the stock levels were maintained to a high standard as to not inconvenience customers or staff, and make sure that all health and safety issues were attended to as soon as possible.

2002-2005 ***Company Name*** Newcastle upon Tyne

Sales Assistant – Supervisor

I started with ***Company Name*** when I was sixteen as a part time weekend sales assistant, I was very quick to learn the ropes and was soon taking on other duties and I started a training programme to become a key holder and then a supervisor. In my role as a supervisor I was charged with various tasks including store opening and closing, cashing-up, banking, security, staff training and more.

***Detailed education history***


Here's my covering letter


Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to express my interest in the role of Customer Service Adviser with ***, which I saw advertised on your website.

I am very interested in working for *** as a Customer Service Adviser. I have been regularly checking the *** careers site for opportunities in the North East (of England) for a while and I am very excited to eventually have the opportunity to apply.

I have a lot of experience in customer service environments, I worked for *** for almost 4 years and I also have previous experience of retail management from my time as a 'key holder'/supervisor for ***.

I believe that my past employment experiences in customer service environments, my passion for success coupled with my hard working attitude would make me an asset to *** and I would provide a positive contribution to given the opportunity.

I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Yours Sincerely


Name


Any help gratefully received.

heretolearn_2

Hi,

there's nothing terrible but nothing that really makes you stand out either. And it sounds as if you are just trying to cover all bases and we aren't getting a feel of the genuine you. You also have a few phrases that don't come across to me in the way you are probably thinking they will, and there is too much 'stating the obvious' and being too vague, and you would be better using that space for more concrete details . I think a few little tweaks could make a big difference.

I’m an extremely hard working, reliable, honest individual. I undertake an exceptional professional demeanour in everything I do, (grammar: you can't undertake a demeanour, you need to rephrase this. you have a demeanour,) especially when dealing with business clients/customers. I am happy to undertake (repetition and this phrase comes across as very needy.If it's your job of course you'll be doing the tasks requested within reason; this sounds as if you'll go rob a bank if they'll ask. Find another way to make whatever the real point is)any task requested and regard any new responsibilities as learning opportunities.
My excellent communication skills make me a good team member, whilst my intuitiveness (I can't see any connection between being intuitive and working alone. Be careful of this word anyway, it could suggest you just guess at what you don't know. Some employers/job roles may need intuitiveness, others may find it a disadvantage. Again, I THINK I know what you are getting at but be more precise - are you good at decision making, analysing situations, taking responsibility?)ensures my success when called upon to work alone. I have the necessary skills and enthusiasm to absorb any new working practices. I work well under pressure and thrive on a challenge whist ensuring all tasks are met with a high level of accuracyCramming too much - 3 separate qualities - into a short sentence.. My outgoing personality and ability to relate to people in all areas (what do you mean by 'all areas' - geographical locations? that's a bit odd.) enables me to be highly customer focused whilst still looking at business needs and targets.

2005- 2009 ***company name*** North Tyneside

Platinum Customer Service Agent
I dealt with customers who had expressed a wish to leave the network due to previous poor customer service and bad technical support. (his sounds like a criticism of your previous employer, a big no-no. This is saying that the network was actually bad at customer service and customer support. Say something like 'I dealt with customer complaints' as it's more neutral and doesn't suggest the customer was justified in complaining! All companies get complaints, but you shouldn't make it sound like there were real problems there.) was resolving customer issues and ensuring they feel like valued clients . I would use my excellent customer service and sales skills to overcome objections, with the overall objective to get customers to re-new their contracts. If I couldn’t solve the customer’s issue alone I would often liaise with other departments to resolve any issues.()his is a bit long winded)

I was also an elected employee representative (ECON), I was part of the team that shares information and discuss issues affecting employees within their specific business area with the management team. Being a member of ECON my aim was to promote an understanding of the local and broader business environment. As part of the ECON team my aim was to enhance the relationship between employees and management at local level, and to enable employees and management alike to accept change and the need for change. This in turn is for the mutual benefit of maintaining the future commercial success of the company.(this section is all a bit clunky.)


2003-2005 ***Company Name*** Newcastle upon Tyne

Bar Staff
Whilst working at ***Company Name***, I completed all main tasks that would be expected of a bar person.(this sentence a bit pointless, just list your duties) This would include the serving of alcoholic beverages; food and the cash handling that came along with this. I would have to also make sure that the stock levels were maintained to a high standard (talk about 'stock control', you can't maintain a stock level to a high standard, it's just right or it isn't. You many have been performing the task of stock control to a high standard, but that's not what you are saying.)as to not inconvenience customers or staff, and make sure that all health and safety issues were attended to as soon as possible.

2002-2005 ***Company Name*** Newcastle upon Tyne

Sales Assistant – Supervisor

I started with ***Company Name*** when I was sixteen as a part time weekend sales assistant, I was very quick to learn the ropes and was soon taking on other duties and I started a training programme to become a key holder and then a supervisor. In my role as a supervisor I was charged(I find 'charged' an odd choice) with various tasks including store opening and closing, cashing-up, banking, security, staff training and more.

***Detailed education history***


Here's my covering letter


Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to express my interest in the role of Customer Service Adviser with ***, which I saw advertised on your website.

I am very interested in working for *** as a Customer Service Adviser(you've said this already.). I have been regularly checking the *** careers site for opportunities in the North East (of England) for a while and I am very excited to eventually have the opportunity to apply(This comes across badly - 'eventually' you've been jobhunting for a long time without success, and the whole thing makes it sound as though the location of the job is the only bit that interests you).

I have a lot of experience in customer service environments,(full stop new sentence. You have a lot of this throughout your CV and letter. Don't just bung in a comma and keep on going and going. ) I worked for *** for almost 4 years and I also have previous experience of retail management from my time as a 'key holder'/supervisor for ***.

I believe that my past employment experiences (employment experiences rather odd. Just 'experience' (and not experiences) would be better)in customer service environments, my passion for success coupled with my hard working attitude would make me an asset to *** (full stop)and I would provide a positive contribution to given the opportunity.

I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

KiKi

Hiya

A few quick pointers without going into detail:
* Put the description of your roles (on the CV) into bullets - MUCH easier for a recruiter to read
* Put in some measures if appropriate. Eg "Managed customer complaints, dealing with approx 500 calls per week"
* Tailor your CV for every job. Change the bullets to use the same sort of wording that they use in their advert (not a copy and paste though. Just make it appeal to them)
* Tailor your letter - it's FAR too generic

Eg, if their ad says "You will have dealt with difficult customers on a day to day basis" and "is able to work on initiative", you need to say in your covering letter something along the lines of "I have managed many difficult customers in my current role, taking ownership of their issues and bringing them to resolution. I also used my initiative to set up a customer monitoring system for complaints that had been escalated, which has now rolled out across the organisation."

Don't write loads, but pull out the key skills they're asking for, and give a paragraph or two short paragraphs on this. That plus your first two lines are enough.

You need to link their statements to what you've actually done. That's the difference between a generic enthusiastic letter, and a brilliant covering letter. You have to make them realise that you're the person they need, not make placid statements about how great you are - which may be true, but won't catch their eye.

I hope that helps.
KiKi

thepurplegoldfish

Many Thanks for the help and pointers. I've never written a CV and Covering letter before, so this information is great. :beer:

If anyone else would like to offer pointers, please feel free.:)

The_ICT_Engineer

I would condense your profile to five lines and remove 'hard working, reliable, honest' as a employer would expect that of any employee. You add five bullet points listing your five key skills. You only have around ten seconds to impress. The person reading your cv is scanning for keywords

ie.
Excellent communication skills,
Highly customer focused,
Intuitiveness,
Team member,
Ability to adapt rapidly to changing situations

Savvy_Sue

The_ICT_Engineer wrote: »

ie.
Excellent communication skills,
Highly customer focused,
Intuitive[STRIKE]ness[/STRIKE],
Team member,
Ability to adapt rapidly to changing situations

I'm not sure Intuitiveness is a proper word. You can be intuitive, you can have an intuition, or even intuition in general, but intuitiveness???