Major problems (long read)

cuzman_2

A history of myself: I am a 33 year old male. I suffered horrible abuse as a child from a person outside of my family which went on for years. I hid this and eventually suffered a nervous breakdown at the age of 18 which ruined my A-levels and left me with only my GCSEs. My parents put this breakdown to my very light use of cannabis at the time.

I eventually got a menial admin job and worked in that field until I was 23, when some soaring credit card debts of around £5,000 made me have another breakdown. This time I revealed everything to my parents about my debts and my abuse. My parents paid off my debts but by then my credit score was affected badly by all the defaults.

I spent three years recovering from my breakdown, undergoing serious counseling and living on Disability Living Allowance until the abuse trial came to court in 2004. After that I enrolled in an Access to Higher Education course in 2005 to get my life back on track. I then went off to university in 2006 and by then had managed to secure a £150k compensation payment due to the abuse.

I invested this into a couple of ISA's and £130k in an Investment Bond. I was getting along swimmingly, but then the crash came and my Investment Bond almost collapsed in half. This caused great strain on me and I failed my year at university.

I then moved into my own flat in 2008 and felt unable to cope as my older mental health issues came back. I tried to fight on without counseling, but eventually dropped out of university in my third year there due to stress.

I then had a major problem with my Council Tax due to a landlord with the same name as me owing thousands of pounds on two properties which he owned. An investigations company traced him to me in a case of mistaken identity and I had major problems with bailiffs which took months to sort out, and nearly drove me to another breakdown. I eventually got a grovelling apology from the council.

I was turned down for every job due to my history, and sank into a depraved world of alcoholism, sitting at home all day watching TV. I was unable to claim any benefits due to my level of savings at the time, and eventually soon realised I was fast running out of money.

I started NHS counseling to get me back on track, gave up drinking, and contacted a social work housing group as I knew I would eventually not be able to pay my rent. They recently advised me to sign up for certain benefits, namely Housing Benefit, Disability Living Allowance, and Employment and Support Allowance, which they helped me to do.

I eventually began to receive Housing Benefit, but was denied DLA after my GP refused to sign me off because my medical history had not reached them yet as it was stuck in the vaults of a PCT after my previous GP shut down. I began to receive ESA, but this has been reduced massively now to £22.15 per week. After completion of all my benefit forms it seems that a couple of weeks ago the Council Tax people then calculated that I immediately owed them nearly £2000, and within a week they had assigned it to the bailiffs.

I have been seeing my social worker for about two months now, and my NHS counselor for about six weeks now, but the memories of abuse stirred up pretty quickly after starting counseling. This in turn led me to start calling chat lines during the daytime, just to get my mind off the abuse once again, as I have no friends or family in this city to talk to.

Yesterday I realized that my Sky TV had been cut off and I inquired why. The guy said the direct debit was cancelled by my bank after Sky attempted to take my monthly fee. The issue is that the monthly fee had risen to around £2,800. That's no typo. I didn't realize how those calls had cost so much. I think I was constantly falling asleep with the phone on too.

So now I am flat broke and my only incomes (Housing Benefit and Employment and Support Allowance) do not even add up to the amount of my monthly rent. Then add on the monthly cost of electricity, water, food, and all the other things we consider luxuries (phone, internet, mobile phone).

I am seemingly stuck with a life I face where I can't even afford to eat, or light or heat my house, and I have no prospects for employment due to my mental health issues, lack of qualifications, and lack of work history.

Is bankruptcy my only option? Even if I do go down that route I will never get away from the Council Tax issue, and the Sky bill would probably turn into an IVA which I couldn't afford. I am destined to end up bankrupt and homeless because the only place I could go would be to live at my parents house 200 miles away, but I couldn't face that due to the memories of abuse it would continue to stir up forever.

Can someone please advise me. I need help.

NeverAgain_2

Money appears to be the least of your problems, but for what it's worth the council tax debt would be included in bankruptcy.

You say you cannot find work, but your long post contains only one spelling mistake - counselling has two ls - so you are clearly literate.

Which is more than many unemployed people.

You like using the telephone, how about applying for a job in a call centre?

Your literacy means your written application would look better than many others.

Such a job would put you among and speaking to people, which may help your mental state.

CorBlimeyHowMuch

Good morning,

I did not want to just read your post and just run, I can empathise with your problems of abuse and the memories of it and at times of stress how the memories reappear, I have been in a similiar position myself not so long ago but mine was Domestic Violence abuse.

I also understand the awful feeling of bieng alone that your write about, especially making a new start in a new town/city it is doubly hard meeting people when your self esteem and confidence is shot.Also know about the high phone bills just to hear the sound of another human voice,mine was awfully high too

I would suggest that you contact your local Community Mental Health Team, and if your doctor isnt sympathetic to your needs see if you can find one who is, mine was recommended by my local MIND mental health place and by the actual folk in there who had various m health issues themselves due to different circumstances in there lives.

CAB are helpful too in pointing you in the right direction re help for health issues,and will help you with any decision you have to make re Bankruptcy IVA etc but do contact the non profit making debt charities for advice on how to proceed dont use any fee paying debt folk that offer easy solutions they are only out to make money for themselves, there are plenty not for profit debt charities like National Debtline, CCCS Payplan etc mentioned in the info at the top of this forum.

I have been where you are now, wondering which way to turn, what to do, life seems lost and dark, have you an out of hours number you can ring even if its just to say how you feel?
I feel helpless just typing words of encouragement to you, but the fact you have posted on here means you know your situation needs sorting and also that you are aware of the problems so please contact someone that can help.

NO debt is beyond sorting out, and yes you might think "Shes wrong, what does she know of my circumstances, etc" believe me I can feel what your going through just by the way you have constructed your post above having been there myself just under a year ago, Ive coped, sometimes not too well and gotten on starting with nothing, home etc, but by just saying help me and taking that help I am tackling my ghosts.

Someone who knows more in depth answers to your questions above will be along soon and answer them, just please dont just disapear of the forum, they have helped me in so many ways I couldnt say how much, it is also the weekend and those that know how to give advice may not be around so keep strong and my warmest thoughts go ou to.

Best wishes Janey

IF

Hi cuzman and Welcome, As Janey says you need to contact a Debt charity. I would contact if you can the CAB where you can speak to someone face to face and if neccesary can get hold of copies of your Doctors records to help you too. Do let us know how you get on.

Click on blue links below:-

Citizens Advice Bureau - Website: Citizens Advice or visit your local CAB centre (find nearest)

Best wishes
If...x

Ineedaname

Not much to add except that I feel your pain and send you thoughts of strength. You WILL get through this, hang around the forum, read as many posts as you are able to cope with and ask as many questions as you need to.

Regarding the DLA, I presume your notes have now reached your GP? Now might be a good time to apply again, you got it once before so if you refer back to that award and say things are no better you should have a good chance of getting something again.

goodz

I'm really sorry to hear this. I hope things work out.

Can't think of much to say. But one small suggestion is maybe get a cheap microphone and then sign up to skype which is free and then you can talk to people for free, except for your normal broadband cost. And it does webcam as well, if you get one, and if you'd like people to also be able to see you while you're chatting.

Re work have you ever tried selling stuff on ebay and amazon? It's hard work and can be quite a nuisance but if you try 10 or 20 things then some people can find some good repeat sellers. Might be worth a try while you continue to apply for regular jobs.

Also I used to do temp work through agencies, is that maybe worth a try? I used to like the variety and it was nice not having to be stuck in the same thing for too long. I did temp secretarial, even though I'm a bloke they take some blokes for it. And I did general work, light industrial, moving carpets in a warehouse, sorting out a book library in a publishing company, all sorts of odd stuff. Some of it was sort of okish and even fairly interesting for a few weeks or months. And it used to pay half as much again or even double what the permies were getting. And I couldn't land a permanent job but I got lots of temp, for about 2 years. Might be worth a go. Good luck if you do.

I also did a fair bit of telephone market research work in their offices and in those days they tended to take pretty much anyone eg me! There were lots of friendly students and people of all ages when I did it. And it was quite nice talking to people on the phone. Sometimes after doing the questions I just carried on having a nice chat with someone for twenty minutes! It was alright, I did it on and off for a few years. So maybe try that out if you live in or near a city or town.

Try to keep your chin up, I know this is awful but one day you'll be past this and things will get better. Good luck.

sundays

I hope i can offer some help, or at least sign post you in the right direction.

1. Your social worker needs to get a urgent referral to the community mental health team, i would also ask them to make a urgent referral as well for floating support, If you dont already have it , floating support is good becuause they can tap into a lot of services very quicky to ensure you manage with the main goal being to keep you sustained in your tenancy .

2. Your social worker may have direct access to a benefit advisor, esp for disability benefits, you def need to reapply or appeal that decision for DLA,
i WOULD also apply for discretionary housing allowance if your not getting the full amount, its a discretionary amount that can be paid whilst your resolving additional hardship.
But you need someone really to assist you with getting these forms completed.

3. Some victim compensation was made exempt for being used as capital, so you need to get advice on that as well to see if there is any chance you have been refused payment because the organisations treated it simply as capital. I may be wrong because the benefit regulations change at a drop of a hat , and some compensation is not disregarded. but you need to find out.
Start with your local housing benefit team for information.

4. if your likely to spend your housing benefit, it would be worth advising the Hb team of the financial difficulty and getting the payment made direct to your landlord.

5. Dependant how long the issue was with the council tax,normally 12 months since the final response , you may be able to log a complaint with the LGO (local governement ombudsman ) you may not get any real money of compensation, but to have proper apology may make you feel a lot better, councils hate LGO investigations esp if they found at fault and they will be named and shamed .

5. Council Tax and the Sky arrears would fall into the BR claim, but you desperately need some free good advice first.

Maybe use this forum a lot more for interaction , its a good way to keep you occupied and its free, and many social media sites are often really friendly.

I really wish you well and hope you come back and keep us updated so we can help you.

You have done a lot today by writing your post, people will do all they can to help you.

wishingherlifeaway

Hi
I just want to wish you well, I too suffer from mental health problems and know how hard it is to deal with them let alone dealing with debt. It is a sad fact though that debt and depression often go hand in hand and can become a vicious circle where we wonder if we will ever get our lives back on track.

I just want to reiterate a few pointers already given. First point of contact is a GP who will listen to you and refer you to a mental health group or counsellor who is qualified to deal with your issues seriously and give you possible options of cognitive therapy. I know waiting lists can be horrendous so in the meantime I suggest calling the Samaritans as there is someone on the end of the phone who will let you talk and will never judge you. You cannot keep this bottled up inside as your health will seriously suffer. Perhaps contact a volunteering organisation? This could put you in contact with people and help to make friends in your area whilst also letting you gain skills to maybe get future employment or even let you enrol on community courses?

As for the housing situation, is there a SHAC in your area? They can help house you and I think they will sort through housing benefits for you. Or maybe housing associations with on-site supervisers at hand to talk to or help with the little things which can make life easier for you.

I hope you can come through this as you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you and you deserve to have happiness as much as the next person. Citizens Advice can help with the debt advice to suit your needs best but I hope you get the help you need.

Take care of yourself, x

indebtinsussex

Hi, I cant add anymore than what people have already said, but I really hope that you get the help and support you deserve and that things turn a corner for you x

Take care of yourself and keep us updated with how you get on x