Someone elses emails

RedSoleShoes

Nicki wrote: »

I'd be livid if someone deliberately read a personal email I had sent, even from a work server. What if she had emailed her partner to remind him of an antenatal appointment before she had announced her pregnancy to the office. Or her office friend to say she had bad period pain/diarohea but was stuck on reception and could her friend bring her round some paracetemol/immodium to tide her over.

The fact that OP's invasion of this girl's privacy brought her to hear no good of herself serves her right. Perhaps the temp and the other colleague were gossiping behind her back because they had noticed her behaving in this kind of underhand way to others in the office and had formed a dislike of her because of it.

I'm not sure how you determined that I have been "behaving in an underhand way". As I said, we have only ever all been friendly to each other (and that goes for everyone in the office i work in).

And if someone was pregnant but not announced it at work, they would be pretty stupid to write it in work email!

Wellery82

Confronting them won't change their personal opinion of you. It is more likely to cause further conflict, and also annoy your bosses who see in fighting.

I personally feel you have two real options -

1.) Think about why they are slagging you off and make a decision do you want to change how they view you - if so make a consicous effort to be more friendly etc

2.) Decide you share a similar view about them, and just withdraw your friendship. Be professional and polite but don't do anymore than that

ILW

What is it with women and !!!!!ing about each other?

Uncertain

Nicki wrote: »

I'd be livid if someone deliberately read a personal email I had sent, even from a work server. What if she had emailed her partner to remind him of an antenatal appointment before she had announced her pregnancy to the office. Or her office friend to say she had bad period pain/diarohea but was stuck on reception and could her friend bring her round some paracetemol/immodium to tide her over.

If the firm's email policy allows some private use of the system then I would agree - up to a point!

However, that is relatively unusual in many work environments. Even if it is allowed then it must be understood that it is unlikely to be completely confidential.

Acc72

Jimavfc82 wrote: »

Confronting them won't change their personal opinion of you. It is more likely to cause further conflict, and also annoy your bosses who see in fighting.

I personally feel you have two real options -

1.) Think about why they are slagging you off and make a decision do you want to change how they view you - if so make a consicous effort to be more friendly etc

2.) Decide you share a similar view about them, and just withdraw your friendship. Be professional and polite but don't do anymore than that

Good advice - just treat it as you would if you overheard 2 colleagues talking about you at the water cooler (not exactly nice, but you wouldn't start looking up company policies etc).

In the meantime, obviously blanking these people and suddenly removing them from facebook etc. is actually likely to make them gossip about your even more !

I agree with ILW that men and women almost always seem to react differently in these situations. Blokes tend to shrug their shoulders and quickly move on whilst ladies really take this stuff to heart.

Just dont' worry about it and carry on as usual.

RedSoleShoes

Thanks for the advice. I am definitely not going to confront them, or bring it to anyones attention. I have stopped all the 'personal' small talk that I use to make with them and only talk to them on a professional basis now.

I realise that deleting them off facebook sends a big message but there was no way I could keep them on there after what they had said about me.

scheming_gypsy

Uncertain wrote: »

It the firm's email policy allows some private use of the system then I would agree - up to a point!

However, that is relatively unusual in many work environments. Even if it is allowed then it must be understood that it is unlikely to be completely confidential.

but that's from IT / managers if required, and not fellow members of staff poking about.

Nicki

RedSoleShoes wrote: »

I'm not sure how you determined that I have been "behaving in an underhand way".!

You went into a colleagues sent mails folder when you had no reason to do so, saw that she had sent some emails to another colleague and decided to open and read them. You did not ask for permission first, nor does it appear you had any business reason to take this action. It was not for example that you were looking for a key piece of information to complete a work task, which would have been likely to be contained in emails passing between these two colleagues.

If you don't think this is underhand, there is no hope for you! You might as well have rifled through the temp's handbag to be honest, or checked the texts on her mobile phone. You had no authority or reason to do what you did other than nosiness, and I would suspect this kind of behaviour is not a one off, hence why these two colleagues at least dislike you.

scheming_gypsy

and also contravened the data protections act and human rights act http://www.worksmart.org.uk/rights/monitoring_at_work

Jarndyce

Nicki wrote: »

You went into a colleagues sent mails folder when you had no reason to do so, saw that she had sent some emails to another colleague and decided to open and read them. You did not ask for permission first, nor does it appear you had any business reason to take this action. It was not for example that you were looking for a key piece of information to complete a work task, which would have been likely to be contained in emails passing between these two colleagues.

If you don't think this is underhand, there is no hope for you! You might as well have rifled through the temp's handbag to be honest, or checked the texts on her mobile phone. You had no authority or reason to do what you did other than nosiness, and I would suspect this kind of behaviour is not a one off, hence why these two colleagues at least dislike you.

Indeed.

And in doing so you have clearly committed disciplinary offences whether or not there are any policies which specifically prohibit such actions or behaviour.

You need to keep your head down and hope that no disciplinary action is taken against you, never mind slagging off others. In the meantime you could use the time to ask yourself why people dislike you so much in the first place - you have certainly given us enough clues.