How to get OH OS

bloomerang72

I love all the hints and tips on here, and incorporate as many as I can into our lifestyle but do find my OH resistant. So I'm wondering how other people get OS when someone in the house is not 'up for it'?

For example, rarely do the cheaper brands come up to his expectations: Putting the heating on 'only costs pennies' (I know, I know I've tried 'if we take care of the pennies....') etc

I'm not talking about one big thing that will give him the lightbulb moment (I think that particular bulb has blown), I'm thinking of the small things (such as bulking up his meat dish with bulgar wheat when he's not looking:D).

Please don't get me wrong - he's not a villain, just not very OS enlightened! :cool:

So how do you guys and gals get round it?

bramble1

It's taken me YEARS. OH was such a brand snob before and wasted money like no ones business (heating on with the window open for example :eek:) .

I was sneaky at first, kept the jars of branded stuff and put supermarket own brand it in the jars....once he didn't complain about the taste i stopped doing it, now everything except baked beans are basics or own brand things and he doesn't complain anymore.

He really loves the homecooked cakes, treats, pies, sausage rolls etc. So that side of things is easy.

Round the house is harder. I still can't get through to him to turn lights off. But nagging works and i'm getting there!

mumto2boys

I just accept that he doesn't do things on purpose, it just doesn't occur to him half the time. He will happily eat cheaper brand stuff (no choice really as i do most of the cooking!) but when it comes to leaving lights on/letting taps run/putting clothes in the wash after having it on for 20 minutes etc, i just go behind him and do it myself.

Don't get me wrong he isn't lazy by any means, he is fab with the boys and he does his fair share of housework etc, he just has the worst thought process in the world :rotfl:

Hellyboo

My OH is the same, wants the heat on 24/7, put lentils in the chilli and he always knows, drives like a lunatic and wastes petrol, always opens the new bottle of milk before the old one is finished etc. I'm fighting one battle at a time with him - at the moment it's the heating because we can't afford to have it on at all. So persuading him that snuggling up under the duvet on the sofa is actually quite nice! We had a nice evening on Fri snuggling up and watching TV, so hopefully it'll click soon!

tori.k

Some OH (not being gender bias) are like kids and need to have some incentive to work towards, after a while things will then just become habbit. I found this with my DH when we were paying off debts he started off great and but slowly old habbits kick in after a few months, but things like turning things off at the mains rather then leaving them on standby had become new habbits ..so im running with the idea and we have planned a family holiday to the States something he really wants to do, once the deposits are down he will have no choice but to slightly adjust his ways with money, with luck it should just become the everyday norm

Hawthorn

Incentive. My OH saw nothing wrong at all with nipping across the road a couple of times a week to buy tobacco...but he would use the debit card, and they don't accept purchases for less than £7.50. So, the tobacco then was a fiver, and he would buy something we didn't actually need to top it up and save walking to the bank. I laid it out in front of him. If you do that three times a week, then thats £7.50 on useless items a week. Almost £400 a year. It took a while to sink in but now he sees what I was getting at and loves getting a bargain as much as me

These days he doesn't think..oh it's only a quid. Now he thinks, hmm, that's two breadloaves!

ninnoodle

I am finding it very difficult too. A few weeks ago my OH admitted to me he was in debt the the tune of £21K :eek: I have pointed out things to him in the past and how much they cost, but he pays no attention. If it's a small amount, then not worth bothering about. I ended up totting up all the bank charges on our joint account from the past 2.5 years and showing him. It came to well over £1K. I think that was a slight wake-up call. He prefers convenience over money-saving. Why drive out your way through rush hour traffic after work to Aldi (extra 5 mins) when you can get things in the M&S petrol garage on the way home? Why bother switching off all the lights when you're not using them? Why not just buy a loaf of bread from the corner shop for £2 instead of making one? I find it so frustrating, especially when I am trying to live as frugally as possible incase the !!!!!! hits the fan. Which it really could.

tea_lover

I'm struggling with my OH too. Have recently found out the full extent of his debt (a lot worse than I realised!) so we definitely need to do everything we can at the moment to tighten our belts.

He starts off ok but seems to get very easily distracted - I swear he can spend money without even realising he does it.

I've basically taken charge of all of the joint household bills, including the food shopping, when we put the heating on etc. He's happy enough with this for now and then when we're more settled into an OS routine he can start taking more responsibility again.

It does sound bad, like I'm treating him like a child but this is how he wants to do it (I'm certainly not forcing him!) He realises that he's terrible with money and would rather not have the responsibility of dealing with it at all for now. Obviously that's not a long-term solution so we will re-evaluate as we go along. But until his debts start seriously coming down he doesn't really get any money, that way he can't spend it.

trolleyrun

This is why I'm so happy to be single :rotfl:

Good luck everyone. It must be really difficult to get the message through to someone who doesn't want to listen. Maybe get them to read this book by Alvin Hall?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Money-Life-Practical-Financial/dp/0340823208/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1321267910&sr=1-2

It's really good and I learned a lot from it (he used to do a program on BBC2 some years ago).

If all else fails, bribery might work, especially in the "special relations department"

bloomerang72

Trolleyrun - You must have met my other half! That seems to be the one way to get him to do anything!!!!;)
Thank you all for your tips - I knew I wasn't the only one out there struggling to get someone to understand and I know I have it a lot better then some as I took over control of the money very early on preventing DH getting into further debt. It is just so frustrating - I sit with no heating on and wrap up warm, I eat the cheapest I can, but in the meantime he turns up the heating, leaves lights and appliances on and not only is carnivor (?sp) through and through but likes a decent amount which probably accounts for a third of our food bill :eek:.

I understand that we are not in debt and he does not wish to scrimp to the point where we don't enjoy life I would just rather cut down in some areas and then we can both have treats like a weekend away, once we have some savings behind us.

What would we do without them to moan about?:rotfl: