Turning the lights back on...

dearlouise

After reading a few inspiring diaries, I have decided it's time for mine. For now just an overview... which will not be straight-forward at all.

I'm 26 years old & have just got divorced. Yes, divorced. It's horrendous, I am aware. After the worst 10 months of my life (since he left to now), I'm trying to get back on track. Which suggests the worst is over, but that certainly is not the case. The divorce is through (hoorah), but the financial matters have not been sorted.

It's going to get messy, very, very messy. :mad:

I am currently living in the negative equity, mortgaged property on my own. Because one of us had to take it on. I am living to the end of my means, scraping by.

I have a job (civil servant). No children (thank goodness). My own debts are 2 small credit cards, & student loan. I owe a fair bit of money to my Mum. Which I'd like to pay back quicker than now, which is at a rate of zero... My biggest cost is actually general living expenses.

Ex-husband is trying to push all of the 'joint' debts onto me. He doesn't understand that I don't physically have the money to take these debts on... so we shall see how that goes. That's the part that's going to get messy. However he *does* have the money to pay these things, as he lives with family.

In the short-term I'm trying to save (as in less cost) as much money where possible, I'm trying to get a 2nd job to create a bigger buffer, and possibly pay off the debts I do have.

I am also trying to create a *life*. Coming out of a very long, repressing relationship, I don't have a social life, or any friends as such. I'd like to both find some good friends, and also open the door to meeting someone new! I have definitely moved on & have a 'gap' in my life, if that makes sense.

I have applied at a local hotel as a receptionist for evening & weekend work. Also in a retail store for Sunday work. I will let you know how that goes.

Also trying to de-clutter my home, and sell what I can!

That's all for now.

ZTD

Hello and welcome to MSE. :hello:

Have you done an SOA? http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html This will help you get all your debts down in a single place and will enable you to see what you need to do in order to sort it out.

Good luck!

chevalier

He can't push the joint debts onto you they are joint! So the first thing to do is to write to the joint creditors, tell them about the divorce, ask them to freeze the accounts, and tell them his new address. I would also point out that you should do that with the mortgage too if there is a likelihood you are going to default on it.

Good luck with sorting out the rest of it. If the worst comes to the worst perhaps a debt management plan with CCCS or Payplan for YOUR debts only (plus your part of the joint ones), may be the way forward?
chev

dearlouise

Not a lot to update with.

Have been working on packaging up things I've sold online since I came home from work. So tired! I'll be glad to take a bath & get into bed. I have so much to sort through I might be here until 2013!

Felt so down today I could have quite easily gone shopping at lunch & spent £10 or so on anything/nothing to make me feel better. Instead I ploughed through & ate my boring sandwich.

Got an awful letter from the bank stating a joint account was overdrawn... However when I phoned they said it wasn't. I'm left confused and worried!

Have overtime at work this Saturday, and plans for Sunday which don't involve spending money. Super! I do need to buy a cheap blind for the living room to block out the draughts that are coming through the rotting wooden windows... but that's a valuable purchase in my eyes.

ZTD

dearlouise wrote: »

Got an awful letter from the bank stating a joint account was overdrawn... However when I phoned they said it wasn't. I'm left confused and worried!

You need to separate your finances as quickly as possible. Write to the bank and tell them you want the accounts frozen such that you both need to sign before anything happens. If you don't have already, open up accounts in your name only with a bank that neither of you currently bank with.

I would have thought the financials would have been sorted as part of the divorce, but there you go.