House + Kids + Split = Massive Mess!!!

TwiggyNeedsHelp

Hi all, Im in desperate need of some help!

Im desperate to leave my wife she has cheated on me in the past 3 times (once while pregnant with our daughter :mad:) its got to the point where i just cant cope anymore and im batteling serious dipression.

We have a house together 69k left on morgadge which is in negative equity house is worth 50k if im lucky as it needs major damp remedial work the morgadge is soley in my name she makes no finianial contribution to the running of the house or bills at all.

we also have a 4 year old daughter together.

The only reason i havent packed up and gone to my mums is concern for my daughter

Does anyone have any idea what im looking at if i leave? ive found someone else and really would like to make a go of things with her but i refuse to be unfaithfull despite my wifes actions!

What would happen to the house? ill take bankrupcy if it comes to it im that desperate. Im not strugaling to pay the morgadge though.

What if i sell at a loss? do i have to come up with the loss in a lump sum?

My worst fear is leaving and having to pay for the house for her to live in leaving me no hope of starting my life again and forgetting all the pain she has caused me.

Its so unfair ive done nothing but support and be fauthfull but it feels like im been punished for her actions while shes getting her life paid for my me!

Ill answer any quastions anyone has but im desperate for a way out! please help me.

:sad:

xyellowx

post this on the child support forum you will get some help

holly_hobby

Well unless your wife is able to demonstrate that she has suffficient income to service the mortgage on her own, your mortgage lender will not release you from your mortgage commitment.

You have (assumed) 19k neg equity - could be more or less on sale, plus you say damp issues to remedy without the monies to do so - so it appears (even if the house/mortgage is in your name only), there would be little gained in selling it at this moment. However, I have to say I have concerns if a damp property is actually a healthy place to raise a child - so in fact you going your seperate ways, with your wife going into rented and you off loading the property - may actually be the most beneficial solution to all. (although the lender may pursue you for any mortgage shortall for up to 12 yrs from redemption).

Going bankrupt, I am not sure how you feel that will help your situation at the moment - should indeed the Judge award bankruptcy (which is dependant on circs, and the Judges own view of your circs i.e it can't be used as a get out of jail card ! ), you will not only block yourself from recipt of any other finance, or even something as fundamental as obtaining a private tenancy agreement, not only until the Bankrupty Order (BO) is completed, but for sometimes afterwards - indeed trying to obtain a mortgage once having been a bankrupt will remain an issue for many yrs.

Further to which, this will not wipe out your mortgage - although the Trustee in Bankruptcy (in certain circumstances) may instruct for the property to be sold to satisfy your creditors, in addition to his disposal of your other assets (apart from essential living and work related items).

If you move out but retain the property, your wife may be able to claim certain benefits (as may be able to if she entered into rental accomodation), but you would still be liable to maintain the mortgage, and also pay child maintenance.

Obtain some legal advice on where you stand with this, obviously adultery is grounds for divorce, its whether you want to go that far, or just go for legal separation at this point.

Hope this helps

Holly

TwiggyNeedsHelp

Our morgadge is tiny compared to most peoples. £289 per month at the moment riding on the base rate plus halifax's svr were only paying 3% interest.

Is there no way she could claim benefits to keep the house herself?

And regaurding the damp, we have raided the issue before but and our gp agrees that there are no immediate health concerns for any of us living in the house in its current state.

And i really dont care about the cons of going bankrupt. im that desperate for a way out ill take it!

holly_hobby

You need to speak to your lender with regards to the viability of getting yourself off the mortgage - or sell it.

With regards your comments to bankruptcy - you only speak about not wanting to pay for costs associated with your property - what do you think going bankrupt will achieve, why do you want to pursue this course ??

I have absolutely no idea on her entitlement to benefits, only DWP will be able to assess her suitability and entitlement - discuss your intentions with your wife, get some mortgage guidance from your lender, legal advice re your situation, and DWP re your wifes situation (of course you will be expected, and have a duty, to provide financial assistance for your Daughter)

Hope this helps

Holly