Advice and help

Pineapple1989

I firstly do apologise as I don't know where this kind of post is expected to go..

I recently left my very first job, where I was for 6 years. It was a close knit environment and being a shy person, I was extremely comfortable here, I definately come out of my shell.. Like many people had previously come before me.

I have gone from a customer facing, interactive role, to an office area, which is fairly quiet. Being a quiet person I am finding it hard to adapt, meeting new people as the office is also a fairly big office and I sit on the 'end' of a set of cubicles.

I know that I am lucky to have secured the role.. But I'm struggling to adapt. Does anyone have any advice at all? .. Maybe with regards to helping me adapt more. Or just some advice on what to do, as I am also a pretty emotional person and I hate getting into states over this change.

If anyone else has this problem, please can you offer some advice? Cause I feel that I'm the only person..

scheming_gypsy

if you only recently left your last job then you're not going to have been at this one very long; so you have to give yourself time to settle in. Your last one might have been close knit but when you started you didn't know anybody and that's exactly how it is now.
In 6 years time this job will probably be close knit as you've spent the last 6 years of your life there and know everybody.

And after 6 years in another role you will feel like you're struggling to adapt but it's often just separating your old way of working from the new. When you get to know people you'll feel more comfortable and forget all about worrying.

ppolly

Hi,
You sound like you might possibly be a highly sensitive person (there is an online free test here to see if you are)

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm

and needing alot of time to adapt to changes. You might just need to be extra kind to yourself until you have settled in properly.

Pineapple1989

Thank you for replying!.
And thank you for the advice!

Yes I don't adapt easily to change.. And I know that I have to bear with it and just breathe through the difficult bits.

I agree that yes 6 years ago I did probably feel the same.. However, I can't remember that far back.. It was only when you said that, and pointed that out, that it suddenly become a matter of fact that yes that most likely did happen.. And yet look at how close I become with them all.

Thank you again for the positive replies and support. :j

User_Bob

Hello Pineapple,

First of all, as everyone has indicated....you are quite normal to feel the way you do. I bet my mortgage on the fact that eveyone on this Board has, during the first few weeks / months of a new job thought along the lines of you, "what the hell have I done, I dont belong here, please let me go back" It gets easier !!

So some tips for you:-

Is there a communal area for coffee / photocopier / butty wagon. If so hang around and say things like............ "gosh I get so lonely in my little cubicle, it's nice to see some friendly faces. " It would be virtually impossible for people to ignore such an inoffensive introduction.

Ask people things like where is a good place to shop, the nearest supermarket, is there late night closing, a good gym nearby, where to get a Birthday Card that's a bit different. You will be inundated with suggestions, from which conversations and friendships grow.

Have a word with your Line Manager and explain that you are feeling a bit "out on a limb" many firms have a buddy / mentor scheme so you will have someone to talk to.

Above all just be yourself. Dont pretend as that will come over false. You seem a lovely person, very self aware. You have been customer-facing so you are no fool. You will be OK.

Good Luck !

magenta22

It takes time to settle into a new job.

I am not the most extrovert of people myself so I do understand what you mean, try to include yourself in conversations with the people who sit directly with you in the office. Go to lunch with them etc.... explain to them that you are a quiet person and you will find that there are some people who see that as a challenge and want to get you to open up a bit.

It's always hard being the new person in a job, people have their little groups already, but you'll settle.

Pineapple1989

Thank you again for the advice . Probably the best thing to come and read on a Monday morning, with the Monday nerves of 'here the week starts again! lol. I'm going to try and see how today goes.. Im not going to fool myself in remembering that Monday probably is the busiest day in the week in an office, so I'm going to try and start conversations as much as possible, without becoming a distraction.
I have spoken to my manager and she's encouraged people to take me to lunch with, which has seemed to help. It has helped me get to know people, and as well I have had little one to one inductions with people around the whole of the company.. I have some more today as well. It is pretty scary and I am hoping really that this job is a stepping stone to something bigger and better (I never went to university so I'm building myself up as a person, career wise, and I have the idea of owning a house in mind.. Think this is also something that I need to remember why I am here overall).

It feels so nice to know that I'm not the only person in this situation! Cause sometimes I get so wound up I eventually want to just bail..

Hopefully with everyone's support I'll settle in properly sooner rather then later

scheming_gypsy

you've done the important thing though and got it sorted at the start. If you'd left it too long people would have started to think you were moody and didn't want to 'socialise' with anybody else. Once you get into that position, people don't bother with you.

heretolearn_2

but I'd also just like to add a word of caution in that every workplace has its own 'culture'. Some are very sociable, with people going for lunch, chatting a lot, going out together in the evenings. Others - you are friendly during the course of the day at work but basically you turn up, do your job, go home. I get the feeling you were at a very sociable place before; if this office turns out to be less like that, it's just the way it is, it isn't you. Most people go to work to earn money, not to make friends. I can't think when I last went out to lunch with someone from work, years ago, it's not that I'm unpopular or unfriendly, but just where I've worked most of the time it doesn't really happen that way.