CSA Liability Order Granted, next step prison???

wallandpiece

red57 wrote: »

It's nominal compared to lots of other cases on here, however it's all relative isn't it. I have broken it all down, they have provided me with statements showing what I owed and what I have paid, it's all in black and white but all they have to do is add it up their end and I even provided a graph outling the differences and asked fror an explanation of where the money had gone as they have not use it to pay off arreas but they won't answer me. I have sent several letters over many years, they are all ignored.

If this is the case, I can't even see why you have a LO. It doesn't make any sense. The CSA must think they have a case, otherwise they wouldn't be chasing. God knows it's hard enough to get them to chase NRPs normally.

What are the options they have offered you? Payment plan or whole lot?

red57

wallandpiece wrote: »

Just noticed your edit. How can ex stop you seeing your child if they are adult? Surely it's their choice?

Re: the LO. I understood it that you have ample time to question assessments before it gets to this stage, hence why you should always keep in touch and keep all correspondence and relevant information. I'm not sure though. I'm sure people use this more of a get-out clause to stop paying, if I'm honest.

I think over the course of years if someone tells child awful things, the child will believe them - I ha had much assistance in trying to establish contact each person advised that the PWC was being emotionally manipulative and I could force things but would that be best for the child. I chose to make my childs life easier and yes being an adult means they are able to make their own choices, however after such a long time of believing NRP doesn't care about you I don't think many people would rush to see them.

Yeah, this has been a long time this coming, but for me I have always paid, never missed payments. I cannot communicate on the phone with them on the phone so maybe it's my fault, but I have also spent time writing lengthy letters. I haven't tried to shirk my responsibility, but I do leave contacting them until I absolutely have to as it brings such raw and stressful emotions to the front as I find it hard to deal with daily life and the stress of the CSA if I am honest. I really just hoped someone working there with half a brain would look at this and admit it's there error and leave me alone - stupid wishful thinking!

red57

wallandpiece wrote: »

If this is the case, I can't even see why you have a LO. It doesn't make any sense. The CSA must think they have a case, otherwise they wouldn't be chasing. God knows it's hard enough to get them to chase NRPs normally.

What are the options they have offered you? Payment plan or whole lot?

They chase me because they are too stupid to read my letters, also it's known that parents who pay are chased harder for "arrears", as they are more likely to get their money.

wallandpiece

Then I think it's time to sort this out once and for all, otherwise you may always have it hanging over your head. I'm sure ex will either spend it on your child, or has already done so in past (I assume travels included them) so it's not like you're not paying for something worthwhile. And if you are in position to clear it when you do get correct amount, why not go for it? It may even contribute to relationship when the child knows you paid and didn't quibble over their welfare.

Good luck with it, anyway. I'm sure if you sort it, it will be in everyone's best interests. I wish my ex would!

skibadee

At the end of the day you can quibble/argue til your blue in the face with the CSA..it won't get you anywhere though....been there....done that!!.......they started collecting arrears based on a 2yr timescale....this is only a guideline....even though they set it is set in stone!!

red57

skibadee wrote: »

At the end of the day you can quibble/argue til your blue in the face with the CSA..it won't get you anywhere though....been there....done that!!.......they started collecting arrears based on a 2yr timescale....this is only a guideline....even though they set it is set in stone!!

Oh it makes me so cross that they have messed up and I have to give more cash - I honestly despise them! So can I just check, if I say I can only afford... they will have to accept will they (previously they refused as they wanted more and said they have changed policy, but this is only a guideline?? I don't have income living off b'friend and he's not responsible for this "debt" so it's not really fair to expect him to pay.

skibadee

red57 wrote: »

Oh it makes me so cross that they have messed up and I have to give more cash - I honestly despise them! So can I just check, if I say I can only afford... they will have to accept will they (previously they refused as they wanted more and said they have changed policy, but this is only a guideline?? I don't have income living off b'friend and he's not responsible for this "debt" so it's not really fair to expect him to pay.

It is only a 'guideline'..........but you really will find it hard to get them to budge from it...especially now they have obtained a LO.

Have you spoken directly with the finance dept at the CSA? We have tended to deal directly with them rather than the person who answers the phone....not the finance dept will be more leanient by any means, but they may be able to explain where the arrears have come from.

At the end of the day as much as you hate your ex...this is for your child.

red57

Thanks for your comment, think point being missed slightly though. I have made payments and been more than generous with my child financially, way above and beyond what was expected of me but even now I am expected to give more. Trust me my child has not gone without and this calculation is inaccurate so it's not anything he should have been having at all.

I just really wanted the questions answered not anyone telling me "it's for your child..." I have done enough and been truly compliant to ensure my child hasn't suffered more than the breakup of a relationship has caused. I don't think compliance when the figure is wrong and I am being threatened to pay is right, despite that the "money would go to my child....", which it certainly wont be, nor will it help mend my relationship and frankly that's not really the point of my post.

Sorry for sounding snappy but I just need to focus on what's going on and what I can do at this stage in the process.

SuziQ

I have no answers to the nuts and bolts of your questions however, if your child is now adult and living away from your ex, surely you can make contact now? My husband had this problem with his kids, they were completely alienated from him for 7 years. They are in contact again now, though, started off on facebook, then 'phone calls and happily they now meet in person.

skibadee

red57 wrote: »

Thanks for your comment, think point being missed slightly though. I have made payments and been more than generous with my child financially, way above and beyond what was expected of me but even now I am expected to give more. Trust me my child has not gone without and this calculation is inaccurate so it's not anything he should have been having at all.

I just really wanted the questions answered not anyone telling me "it's for your child..." I have done enough and been truly compliant to ensure my child hasn't suffered more than the breakup of a relationship has caused. I don't think compliance when the figure is wrong and I am being threatened to pay is right, despite that the "money would go to my child....", which it certainly wont be, nor will it help mend my relationship and frankly that's not really the point of my post.

Sorry for sounding snappy but I just need to focus on what's going on and what I can do at this stage in the process.

Its understandable.....we've been in your position but arrears were alot more.....due to a CSA 'b***s up'.....we have tried for years to get this sorted to no avail....an LO was granted second time around...we attended court both times...first time case was thrown out....second time....magistrates wanted it adjourned but CSA seem to be above even the magistrates, my OH tried to put his point across to no avail...the magistrates actually told CSA that the vital letter we had requested a copy of on numerous occassions and never recieved, be sent within 14 days....to this day we still have not recieved it.
We finally finished paying arrears last month...they granted us more than 2 years (2.5 years ) to pay them due to my health....we had no option other than to pay or face baliffs at our door.
Paying arrears plus regular maintenance has crippled us financially...there are months that we have had hardly any food, I had to declare myself BR....(we previously had a excellent credit rating ) as we were unable to make credit payments as well as paying CSA......and in all this my OH's DD wants nothing to do with her dad....her mum took her (aged 5mths at the time) and her brother (aged 3yrs at the time) to go and live with a man she'd been having an affair with. Contact was in place for years until OH's ex made this impossible.
DD does not even realise her father pays to help support and has done for years, she has been brain-washed over the years and unfortunately the damage done is unrepairable.
DS has stayed in contact.

Try a website/forum called 'A Fairer CSA For All '...they were a fantastic help to us.