Real Life MMD: Should I let bro-in-law do the architecture?

pennypinchUK

So he's not yet qualified and he's charging top whack? Is that an alarm bell I hear?

A simple rule in life to save all sorts of troubles: "Never make money out of friends or family." That way, you never have to worry if something goes wrong, which by sods law it invariably does.

If I was an architect and it was anyone in my family, I'd do it for free. Gratitude would be enough. And hey, if he's not yet qualified he should appreciate the experience.

You've an easy out - you don't want to mix family and money. Most people would understand immediately.

JayD

Defnitely NO!!!!!!!!!

We have learned the hard way that you should NEVER employ any family member to do any work for you at all!

Honestly - it is impossible to sort any problems should anything not go quite right and even questioning or suggesting things that conflict with their view is a veritable minefield.

Even if he offered to do it all for free - I would still say NOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

JayD

madanna wrote: »

This is a win win situation. Your brother in law is someone you know, so you should both be able to understand each other quicker than a stranger & get what you need more quickly than using an unknown. During and after the job your brother in law will be able to use this job as an example of trust to other customers to show he can perform - so he isn't going to let you down. if it goes wrong - you only have to talk to him as a professional to get things put right.

OMG - you have obviously not enjoyed the delights of employing a family member to do any work for you.

Trust me, it is a very rare in-law that will let you talk to them as a professional and getting things put right is extremely hard - especially when they choose to disagree about them being wrong in the first place. Add to this the whole risk of causing a major family feud and you will begin to understand why the answer should be definitely NO.

milvusvestal

Hang on - being nearly qualified isn't the same as being qualified! You'll have no cause to complain if an unqualified architect lets you down, even IF he is a relation. What professional body could you complain to about someone who might belong to it because he has paid his subscription, but hasn't proved that he is competent and able to perform the task?

He's not doing you any favours by doing the job unqualified, and I reckon he should do it for free as a favour to you. Payment of any kind constitutes value for money's worth, and unqualified work has no value at all.

wildthing01

hang on, he's nearly qualified, which means he presumably has no public liability insurance, will only be registered with his professional body as a student (if at all), and has very little real-life experience. and you're considering paying him the top end of the range you've been quoted, just because he's extended family?

i think you're potentially on dodgy ground entering into business transactions with family/friends, especially with the 'professions', as the legalities are a minefield, and there's potential conflict of interest (as they may find it much harder to be objective) and they may end up breaching their professional body's code of conduct. personally i wouldn't do it, unless he was going to give a big mates rates discount...

bogwart

I wouldn't. I think he's taking the wee-wee if he expects a close relative to cough up full price when he isn't even qualified. Half that price would be more equitable, and if he did a good job you could continue to reward him by recommendation. It's my opinion that he's taking advantage of your good nature, and given that his work will affect his sister too I really think he needs to reassess his priorities in life.

jamespir

Talent wrote: »

jamespir wrote: »

"Replies to posts are alway's welcome, If I have made a mistake in the post, I am human, tell me nicely and it will be corrected. If your reply cannot be nice, has an underlying issue, or you believe that you are God, please post in another forum. Thank you"

Hi, I find this statement by 'jamespir' quite obnoxious.... but then. I'm only human!:cool:

thanks kind of you to completly fail to get it

jenblackrod

I think you'll have to choose him or fall out with your sister. You could show him the other quotes and ask him exactly what hes quoted for, as it might be a more extensive service hes offering?

janaltus

I employed a very talented architect who was also a family friend. I was greatly impressed with his portolio, trusted him utterly and had no complaints whatsoever with the brilliant work he undertook. I even paid him a large sum, upfront. Then - halfway through the project - he died, quite suddenly. He wasn't solvent so I was stuck, up the creek, without a paddle. I was left, holding a handwritten receipt, at the end of a line of creditors and didn't feel it was right to bring it up with his grieving - and poor - family members.

I'd like to think I would be a bit more risk-averse in future.

MBr

Maat wrote: »

Why, oh why do humans, who pride ourselves on our depth of communication which no other species matches (so far as we know, although I don't know any other species who need so much conflict resolution) have so much trouble talking to each other?

Get your brother-in-law on the sofa and tell him that actual qualified architects have quoted less than him and that his quote is actually the upper limit of quotes for already qualified people. Invite his comments on this. Ask him why he's quoting so much when he's not qualified and when it's a family job - only don't ask him, tell him you're puzzled by it. Invite him to discuss the whole thing with you as friends. You don't say if he's your wife's (or husband's) brother or your sister's (or brother's) partner but surely the significant other in this relationship might have a say in it.

Be open about your feelings and invite his. Be compassionate and not judging, tell him how you feel and what you're looking for. The rest is then up to him. And if you're still not happy then go elsewhere. There's no guarantee you'd be happy with a cheaper qualified architect than you would be with your brother-in-law.

But for goodness sake talk. With compassion, about your feelings rather than putting him down, but do talk. This can be resolved and without causing family friction so long as you boil it down to what you want and what you feel and leave it up to your b-i-l to say what he wants and what he feels. Honesty with compassion, that's the key.

Good luck, I hope you get done the work you really want and maintain friendly relations.

This is just the best post I have read about the whole matter!
I say no more...