Problems - returning to work from maternity leave - worried

rachymoo

Please forgive me for how long and waffly this is. I will try to explain as best I can.

I am due to return to work in December. Before I went on maternity leave, I did four full days (9 til 5) per week, Monday to Thursday. My plan has always been to put in a flexible working request to reduce to 3 days per week. Rather stupidly of me, I always assumed they would agree to that request.

So we had a good talk and worked out what we'd do about childcare etc, and then I put a request in to do 3 days - one full day (Monday) and 2 shorter days (to finish at 3 so I can collect my eldest from preschool - my grandparents will pick her up on a Monday but there is no one to do the other days). My mother in law has agreed to care for my youngest (6 months) on a Monday and the plan is/was to get a childminder for the other two days.

Anyway - I had a meeting at work last week and they have told me they can't accommodate the request as it will impact too much on workload for the rest of the team. To be fair to them, I can understand their concerns, but one thing that is upsetting me slightly is that another girl went on maternity leave in August and they haven't bothered to replace her at all! If things are that busy and difficult surely they would find a maternity cover for her? (My maternity cover will leave when I go back). So I do feel like I'm being penalised for that a bit.

Anyway, they said I can appeal but I'm not sure if there's much point - they have written to me outling their reasons, those reasons won't have changed and neither will their situation/circumstances. I did ask if I could change my requested working pattern slightly and then put the request forward again, they said I could do this but it would still need to be done as an appeal.

I just dont know what to do - we had worked out that we could just about manage to pay childcare (for youngest child) for 2 days but 3 is going to be unmanageable. We don't earn much as it is. I feel sick at the thought of leaving him anyway and all this is making it so much harder I really really don't want to leave him, I feel panicky and actually sick at the thought of leaving him with someone else.

We have been talking about what the best thing to do is. My OH mentioned me not going back at all (and in the meantime, looking for another job with more well-suited hours) - but then I'd owe them money (at my workplace, you have to return for a minimum of 3 months, or if not then you have to repay any maternity pay that was on top of SMP - for me, this would be around £3,000). Not going back means I'd be earning less but then obviously we wouldn't be paying childcare either - and in the meantime I could look for a part-time job with better suited hours. But the worry with that is, what if it takes ages to find another job and in the mean time we dont have enough money to manage? How do I even find out how much money we would be entitled to, like tax credits etc? I tried entitledto.com and it's just so complicated.

The other option is to try to get something short term sorted re: childcare, and return for the 3 months and then decide from there what to do. My maternity leave ends on 31st October but I have annual leave which takes me until 12th December so I'd only actually be back at work from 12th December until end of January. I could either say I'll go back for 4 days but request to finish at 3 (this would need to be done via an appeal), or go back doing the 4 full days and just put up with it (but that obviously still leaves the problem of no one to collect my eldest from preschool).

My other worry is that my son is still breastfed and I'm very worried about how I will carry on, if I was working 3 short days then it would probably be doable but I'm not so sure about 4 long days. I know you can't really help with that though! I will be absolutely gutted if I have to stop though.

The more I think about all this the more sick and panicky I feel. Sorry this is so long and well done if you have made it this far! I just don't know what I'm going to do. Please don't think this is me trying to get out of going back to work, it's not that at all. I am 25 and have worked ever since I was old enough, I have never NOT had a job since leaving school. I WANT to work - it's just I want it to fit in with my family too. My eldest is 2 and my youngest is 6 months and I hate leaving them as it is, but I know that working and trying to earn some money is the best thing to do. But this is all so hard. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Bobl

I don't mean this to sound harsh, but it sounds like you did a great deal of planning around how you would cope with reduced hours but did not consider the employer. The have complied with the law and considered your request and as long as their reasons are related to a sound business need they are lawful.

I wish people returning from maternity leave would negotiate with employers before they go on leave or as soon as possible after rather than just before returning - as a manager it never fails to amaze me when people ask for reduced hours/part time a week before returning giving me no time to arrange other options - I know it isn't the law but it does work both ways.

rachymoo

Bobl wrote: »

I don't mean this to sound harsh, but it sounds like you did a great deal of planning around how you would cope with reduced hours but did not consider the employer. The have complied with the law and considered your request and as long as their reasons are related to a sound business need they are lawful.

I wish people returning from maternity leave would negotiate with employers before they go on leave or as soon as possible after rather than just before returning - as a manager it never fails to amaze me when people ask for reduced hours/part time a week before returning giving me no time to arrange other options - I know it isn't the law but it does work both ways.

No don't worry about sounding harsh, I actually agree. I had made no secret of the fact that I was going to ask for reduced hours, however I couldn't put the formal request in as soon as I wanted to because the person I needed to have a meeting with was very limited as to the times they were available to meet with me. Plus I was waiting for them to confirm my return date before I could put my request in. I agree, it does work both ways!

RadoJo

Have you spoken to the person doing your paternity cover to ask if they would be interested in doing a job-share for your current job or similar? You may have to take fewer hours to make it worth their while (e.g two days a week each rather than 3 and 1) but if they were willing and you could manage on the reduced income then that might be an option? I think you just need to be creative - asking your employers to find a solution when that's not really in their interests is only going to go so far, but presenting them with a ready made solution that solves all their stated problems is much more likely to be accepted.

LL30

Re: breast feeding, have you got a pump? And is he taking the bottle already? It's hard, but it is possible to keep up your supply whilst working, and him taking the feeds via bottle when you're not there. Work places should accommodate an appropriate place for this to happen. He'll probably have dropped a shed loads of feeds by then mind you, so could be easier than you anticipate.

Just wandering, if you're anticipating a childminder for your youngest, could you get one that does the school run and who can pick up your eldest from pre school also? Might be a possibility? Tax credits should help with childcare costs - try ringing Working Families, they were great for me and explained everything so I had an idea about how and what I could apply for. It's tough leaving your lo, I can totally sympathise with you - really hope you get sorted xx