Parent has died. What needs to be done?

InNeedofHelp

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum. I was going to put it in the insurancies forum, but i figured it'd be better in this one as the house dealings will be the main (most expensive) thing i guess?


Basically my dad died early on this morning. Some may wonder what i'm therefore doing on MSE asking this at 3:30pm the same day, but when he was still alive (that bit is horrible - it feels like i'm talking about someone else's situation, not mine), he said that -I- would have to organize things or help my mum do it, because i would know what to do.

I told him then that i didn't. Of course you will he said. You do this, you do that, and it'll all be sorted.
I can't remember. My head is mush.

There are people to be contacted, i know that much, but what about legal things? What needs to be done? What needs to be done from us?

* Any will & carrying out any wishes he may or may not have made
* Any insurancies paid by him - life insurance, pensions, any of the like
* Household bills that are in his name (he paid for some, my mum paid for others).
* His car that is in his name. As well as this - the car insurance that'll be in his name
* Burial/Cremation - the final putting to rest, what gets done? (I don't mean which do we choose, i mean what do we do about organizing?)
* Paying off of anything outstanding (can't think of anything right now - house is paid for).

** Anything i may have missed, as i still live with my folks so i don't know the full dealings of running your own place etc.

Right now i feel as though it wouldn't be so bad to get hit by the next bus that's passing. I know i'm not the only one to have dealt with such loss, but it's my first one & i feel like i'm tapped in a fantasy world right now, except not a pleasant one.

Anyway, enough of that. Any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated as it'll make dealing with this so much easier.

Thank you.

Joe_Bloggs

May I offer my condolences for your loss. All I can find is the Direct.Gov page:-
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/DG_10029808

I hope family an friends can comfort you in these times.

J_B.

Tixy

Hi, sorry for your loss.

There are a couple of guides that might help you - http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/DG_10029808
Just concentrate on the first 5 days section for now.
and http://www.ageuk.org.uk/money-matters/legal-issues/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/

Do you know if he had a will? Hopefully if he did then mum will know which solicitors they used (in a day or so, I don't suppose she can think at all today, like you feel).

Errata

Have a look at the first sticky titled What to do when someone dies on the marriages and relationships board, it has lots of information. My condolences to you and your family.

PasturesNew

I've just been doing this ... still doing it. I'll add what I've done/found to your questions:

InNeedofHelp wrote: »

* Any will & carrying out any wishes he may or may not have made: read the will so I knew roughly what he said, took it to a solicitor. Estimated bill of £2-4k + VAT - also give them the death certificates you collect once the death is registered. Get a few of these as they cost more if you go back to get more originals.
* Any insurancies paid by him - life insurance, pensions, any of the like: solicitor will write to them all, take everything to solicitor. Mine charges £170/hour so spend some time making it all tidy/neat to save them trying to. Handed over several originals of death certificates as these companies will want to see those.
* Household bills that are in his name (he paid for some, my mum paid for others). Phone them up, get name changed. Were they on DD? Is it a joint account? If it's his account that'll be frozen so need to sort out getting bills onto DD on mum's account.
* His car that is in his name. As well as this - the car insurance that'll be in his name. Cancel car insurance, might get a bit back. Executor (you?) can probably just sign the car over to new owner. In our case one of the executors was having it and signed it to themselves. Made solicitor aware of this and the value as solicitor needs full value of the account for the HMRC potential tax bill (none in our case but they have to still put the figures together).
* Burial/Cremation - the final putting to rest, what gets done? (I don't mean which do we choose, i mean what do we do about organizing?). Pick a funeral place, they'll do everything. You have to pick things that you didn't even know existed until today. Basic bill is about £2,500-3000. Might be something in the will about who will pay for the funeral, so be aware of this so you pay for it from the right account. Funeral directors are used to people not being entirely sure who is paying/how on the day it's booked.
* Paying off of anything outstanding (can't think of anything right now - house is paid for). Need to get the house valued for probate purposes, HMRC will want to know how much the property is worth. Check the deeds to see if it's half/half or all in his name. Pick two local estate agents to do probate valuation and tell solicitor the two you've picked, they'll then phone you and come round.

** Anything i may have missed, as i still live with my folks so i don't know the full dealings of running your own place etc. If there are any works' pensions, you might discover that they then tell you to submit a form/application to start the widow's pension paying out, don't expect it to happen automatically. Find the paperwork, see if you can work out if there IS a widow's pension.

DWP Pension will automatically be adjusted for your mum, not sure how that happens, probably as a result of the death being registered, I know it "just happened".

Good luck ...

Edit: Re car insurance, I didn't cancel it until the transfer had been done as the law's changed on having uninsured cars lurking about

getmore4less

Tough time sorry for the loss

once the death is registered you can take a bit of time to read up the basic process.

I found the process quite usefull to help deal with the situaion and keep control. my mum was pleased I did the full thing rather than leave it to solicitors.

It can be very simple and the main people you have to deal with seem to like DIY estates/probate so are very helpfull.


Will or no Will is the other key thing to find out early.

koexelek

Really sad news.

Sorry to hear of your loss

The advice above is good though

InNeedofHelp

Thanks guys.

Have been going through things. Perhaps we should be further along than what we are, but we don't have a clue. I followed the links & we've been moving through the list. Have an appointment with the bank & have cancelled 2 car insurance policies.

1 that is seemingly difficult to find out is what to do regards ownership of vehicle - how to transfer it in this case. I spoke to insurers who said contact DVLA. I called DVLA who have a crazy maze of options on their phone menu system. I selected what i thought was right, but it didn't put me in touch with a human & wasn't very helpful.


We need to try & find out what monies are owed, what we're entitled to, benefits & such, but i guess that's better suited to the benefits forum, which is where i should head to once i hit send on this

Thanks guys.

getmore4less

InNeedofHelp wrote: »

Thanks guys.

1 that is seemingly difficult to find out is what to do regards ownership of vehicle - how to transfer it in this case. I spoke to insurers who said contact DVLA. I called DVLA who have a crazy maze of options on their phone menu system. I selected what i thought was right, but it didn't put me in touch with a human & wasn't very helpful.

Thanks guys.

Its a lot easier once you find the right web page.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Motoring/DriverLicensing/DG_4022493


accounting for the value for estate may be an issue to deal with later.

nearlyrich

Sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad, be kind to yourself it is hard to think about everything when you are grieving.

If you find a good undertaker they will take a lot of the strain of organising the funeral.

You don't have to do everything at once, however if there is a will it might have details of your Dad's funeral wishes so I would recommend having a look at this if available.

Have you anyone who can help you maybe a sibling or an uncle or aunt?

InNeedofHelp

Thanks for that getmore. That makes things much easier now.
In the benefits forum, i've just learned that if my mum was to pass my dads savings to me, she can be seen as trying to hide her savings amount to con the benefit people & they can come down on her for this.
Which makes me wonder - my mum doesn't want to own my dads car. I suspect in part because it's my dads car & she'd feel uncomfortable, but she says because it's way too big a car for her (Mondeo estate, she drives a little Corsa). Would they then view her as trying to pull the wool over someones eyes (regarding the sale of the car)?

Too much to worry about

nearlyrich - thankfully people are here to help. Friends & family. People are insisting on organizing things & paying for things. We're not the type of family to accept money gifts/help, so it's difficult to accept, but these people (family) wont take no for an answer so we're having to accept. It's a really nice offering & i know it makes them feel better. It's difficult though when you don't like to accept help / money help. IF that sounds ungrateful then it's really not meant to.