A level student left in limbo

embob74

Emmzi wrote: »

embob, I agree you are over reacting. Job + night school and she can pay it herself with job money!
However SHE has to want to do this. It is not enough for mum to want it or you'll be back in a year with her dropped out of something else!
Get HER to have a look here and come back and tell you what her options are. I am sure at 18 she can use google on local colleges too, and work a phone!
https://nextstep.direct.gov.uk/HelpAdviceandMoney/Pages/default.aspx

I think the thing I am over-reacting about is that we would not be in this position had the school informed us at any point there would be a problem in her returning, despite us contacting them every week since before exam results came out.
I do agree though that I cannot help her unless she helps herself. I have told her she needs to get off her butt and get out there to find a job. She is updating her CV now and will be applying online to anything and everything today. Tomorrow she will be out the door first thing in the morning to the Job Centre to see what they can find for her. Tough love is absolutely the key here.
Thank you for the link - I will pass it on to her. I have done as much as I can and unless we hear from colleges a job is the way to go.
Hopefully she won't be on this board soon as one of the millions of teenagers who cannot find a job no matter how hard they try

embob74

Just to add that she has also applied for part-time (night) courses at college but availability is limited on those too due to the fact we are already into the academic year.

shop-to-drop

I imagine your daughter was aware that if she failed she would be off the course she probably didn't pass this info on to you. She was probably in denial that they would follow this through and just hoped they would give in and she could continue in the end.

Savvy_Sue

embob74 wrote: »

Just to add that she has also applied for part-time (night) courses at college but availability is limited on those too due to the fact we are already into the academic year.

but she has the advantage that she's repeating the AS (I presume), so missing a few weeks at the start shouldn't be too disastrous. It could be worth her checking whether she can go on a waiting list if courses are full, because there will be drop outs!

I agree that if you've been speaking to the school and they were saying "we can sort it" then they've not been very fair. If it was your DD reporting "they say it will be OK", then it may well be her failing to realise how serious things were. DS3 was always very blase about school work: there was never a problem according to him, and it took teachers talking to him in front of us to get through to him that he really did have to take GCSE English seriously if he wanted to get into the 6th form.

So my over-reaction comment is a suggestion to how YOU respond to HER. I don't have DDs, but DS3 is a bit of a drama queen - if he's giving a 'woe is me, this is so awful, my life is over' response to a situation, I don't see that it helps him if I agree - even if I do, IYSWIM.

Your DD isn't going to be able to take the straight path to her original idea of a degree in genetics. Obviously a 'there there never mind' isn't going to help, but nor is a 'oh no this is awful, your chances are ruined because of one bad exam result." Yes, this is a setback. Yes, this is a shock. Yes, this hasn't been handled well. Yes, this could cost money to fix. Now, what are your options? No, wailing that it's not fair isn't one of them.

Elle7

If you read through her enrollment information for A levels, it will probably mention that the school will get rid of anyone who they do not believe can achieve their grades. This is because it affects their pass rates. Your daughter will already have done this by failing her exams, and they won't have let this happen easily - whether she told you about them or not, she will have been warned that her grades were not good enough, and told that she would not be allowed to return to resit if she did not improve. Most of the time, in my experience, the teens don't pass this message on to their parents but they think they can fix the situation. Most of the time, they can't, and they aren't taken back to resit.

Sit her down and ask her what she wants to do. Going to university next year will be very expensive - she has to prove she can succeed, because it'll be an environment that she really needs to push herself in. You can't do it for her. If she can't apply herself, then it isn't worth the huge tuition fees.

Colleges are a possibility but again they will worry about their pass rates so she'll need to prove she can apply herself correctly, both for you, for herself and for the uni or college she intends to go too.

So the next question is what can she do this year to prove that she can put in hard work, and commit herself? Getting a job would be a great idea. A night course or OU course is also a good way to show that she can apply herself. Both together, and achieving high marks, would be the best possible way to show somewhere that she can work hard.

It isn't the end of the world, but she has made it a damn sight harder for anyone to take her seriously in a time that student places are hugely over subscribed, and jobs are difficult to come by. She'll need to overcome these, obviously with your support but her doing the majority of the work, to get herself back on track. It can be done, so keep the faith a bit. She needs that.

Lumefayle

There are other routes onto science based courses rather than the traditional A level to uni route. I know I did it, studied an access to HE course whilst working full time. I was one of the younger in the group by the end (age 21) but there were a few younger than me - but only one of which (19 year old) completed the course. It was more of a focused environment than what I experienced when I did my A/S levels.

embob74

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

but she has the advantage that she's repeating the AS (I presume), so missing a few weeks at the start shouldn't be too disastrous. It could be worth her checking whether she can go on a waiting list if courses are full, because there will be drop outs!
Your DD isn't going to be able to take the straight path to her original idea of a degree in genetics. Obviously a 'there there never mind' isn't going to help, but nor is a 'oh no this is awful, your chances are ruined because of one bad exam result." Yes, this is a setback. Yes, this is a shock. Yes, this hasn't been handled well. Yes, this could cost money to fix. Now, what are your options? No, wailing that it's not fair isn't one of them.

She was told by the connexions advisor that there could be drop-outs so she's hanging onto that hope!
I agree I was a bit "woe is me...or rather her!" but then I always have been. Then I pick myself up and think 'what can be done about this?' which is where we are at now. I have told her I will support her any way I can but only as long as she helps herself - I don't recall anybody helping me to sort my job/college/life out at her age!
We are just waiting to hear back about college places, I don't know why it takes so long to say they have a space or don't, surely all students are registered on computer and they can easily check if they are oversubscribed?
DD did ask when she should apply for jobs as she thought she should wait to hear back that college is a no :rotfl: I soon put her straight and sat her down to go through the jobs online. Packing her off to the Job Centre too which I'm sure she won't thank me for but best to keep her impetus going while it's there!

embob74

Lumefayle wrote: »

There are other routes onto science based courses rather than the traditional A level to uni route. I know I did it, studied an access to HE course whilst working full time. I was one of the younger in the group by the end (age 21) but there were a few younger than me - but only one of which (19 year old) completed the course. It was more of a focused environment than what I experienced when I did my A/S levels.

The college careers adviser mentioned an Access course as she will be 19 next year. It is on DD's to-do list to check with various uni's as to whether that will be acceptable for the course she wants to do.
At least if she's busy she won't be moping!

Emmzi

that all sounds much better! glad you have got over your shock. If she has the brains there will be a way, just need to keep pushing her to apply herself. Am also sure a few weeks of having to go to the jobcentre and see how people can be treated there will make her buck her ideas up good plan :-)

Oldernotwiser

embob74 wrote: »

The college careers adviser mentioned an Access course as she will be 19 next year. It is on DD's to-do list to check with various uni's as to whether that will be acceptable for the course she wants to do.
At least if she's busy she won't be moping!

If she wants to do Genetics it'll have to be a Science Access course. Most general Access courses only offer (Human) Biology (the future nurses need it) which won't be a strong enough science base.

However, if the school genuinely don't believe that she's up to science A levels, she may need to re assess her plans. Struggling with A levels doesn't bode well for studying similar subjects at university, particularly as there's a massive jump in the standard required.

Difficult as it is at the moment, this may be the time when she has to rethink her future and make different choices.

(NB. Do be a little wary of college Careers Advisers. Their role in life is usually to recruit for their college's courses rather than to offer objective advice and guidance to applicants.)