Advice needed - helping depressed mum

clc118

Hi,

I'm hoping someone could give me some advice/ point me towards the right organisations to help my mum who suffers from severe depression and is in financial difficulty.

She is over 60 and is struggling on £120 a week, £60 goes on rent to the housing association and the rest on bills. Two siblings (over 20) still live at home and do not contribute towards living costs and refuse to do so. My mum has given up and will not insist they pay their way as this leads to arguments and she cannot cope anymore.

Ideally she needs to ask the council to move her to a smaller property with a lower rent but she has barely left the house over the last two months and tells me she is too anxious to leave the house to go the Citizens Advice Bureau.

I live over 200 miles away and not in a position to help her financially. Over 5 years ago I used part of my student loan to pay off her credit card debt and really don't have any money to help her move now unless I use my overdraft which I have been working hard to pay off over the last couple of years.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and can offer any advice?

Many thanks in advance

oldtractor

Sorry to hear of your mums illness. I think if you go to your Doctor and tell him/her about the problem they may be able to put you in the right direction. Do try to make an appointment for your mum to see her own doctor too.

elaine12022

Does she have a decent GP? If so he/she may be able to get some help for her.

No wonder she's depressed, having 2 grown up children at home, who obviously don't care.:mad:

She's presumably losing out on possible benefits elsewhere due to having extra adults in the house, too.

Sounds like a very difficult situation. Could your mum ring the CAB or is that difficult as well? Or is there a community legal centre handy?

SouthCoast

Christians Against Poverty may be appropriate

http://www.capuk.org/help/capcentres.php

Pollycat

Is your Mum getting all the benefits due to her?

£120 per week is less than the amount that the Govt say you should have to live on (currently £137.35) so she may be eligible for Guarantee Pension Credit.
See here for more info:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Pensionsandretirementplanning/PensionCredit/DG_10018692

I'm assuming that she doesn't have much, if any, savings.

If she does qualify for that, she may also qualify for Council Tax Benefit & Housing Benefit but I'm not sure how having two free-loading lodgers living with her will impact on what I've said (I'm basing my experience on my Mum who is a recent widow).

Entitlement to guarantee pension credit would also give her other benefits - it's worth checking out.

It must be very difficult for you knowing she's ill and being so far away from her.

chevalier

can you not talk to your siblings on the phone and tell them not to be such free loading gits?

rising_from_the_ashes

I would say she def needs to move to a smaller house if possible - as her rent is 1/2 her income straight off. It would also force your siblings to move on and pay their own way. I can't believe your siblings can sit there seeing your mum obviously struggle and not help out!

Not sure how your mum would feel about this but it may be worth asking if she'd mind if the SW dept helped her out?

Good luck

Yargo1

Can you not visit or phone and tell your siblings to pay up or move out? Are you the oldest sibling? I would nit think twice of telling my brother to stop free loading. X

clc118

Thanks so much for all your responses - I really appreciate your advice and will definitely look into some of the routes you have suggested. If she cannot call the CAB I think I'll calll them for her to see what options are available.

I know she's moved doctors in the last two years because her mlast one was quite abrupt and unhelpful. However, when I last spoke to her on the phone she didn't want to visit her new practice because she had to wait over an hour to the doctor and waiting in the surgery made her anxious.

I'm planning to visit soon which will hopefully improve my mum's mood. My siblings know exactly that they are taking advantage but all arguments to get them to contribute regularly fall on deaf ears (they contribute every now and then but then assume this gives them the right to have a week or two without hassle to pay up). They also both have temper issues and can be quite scary when angry so I don't want to let my mum have to deal with that when I'm not there.

I think the best option would be for my mum to be offered a smaller place for her to live but she tells me this involves a long bidding process which I know she is not capable of facing up to and putting in the hours/effort in her condition.

I feel totally helpless and know that there must be support out there for people like my mum but not knowing where to start !

elaine12022

Had another thought (apart from how lucky I am with my family!) - are there any mental health charities nearby or any advocacy services? They may be able to visit your mum & at least give her some support.

Any psychological tactics that would work with your siblings? (this is me from watching Neighbours where they've just got rid of an unwanted housemate :rotfl:)

chevalier

What about Age Concern?