Perhaps Im in the wrong place....DFWW?

kathfisch

Twon wrote:

I can see the logic behind not having this holiday BUT I'm not in a position to say no. This holiday is happening. I want it to happen.

While taking it confirms my lack of DFW-status upon my return I will be ready to DFW with the best of you.

I think this is all leading up to my lightbulb moment, but I think it is a good number of months off just yet!

I don't mean to sound harsh, and if you're on the way to your lightbulb moment that's fab, but knowing the difference between want and need is crucial.

I'd absolutely love a wonderful holiday abroad, I haven't seen my family in South Africa since 1999, I could probably get the available credit to make it happen... just thinking about it now, I want it to happen. But I don't need it. And I'm not booking the holiday because it is not within my means, I would end up in a much worse situation financially and would really struggle to pay it off for years to come. And you know what, it would not be worth it.

From here (and from the admittedly small amount that you've written) it seems like you've had a lightbulb moment of sorts - you've realised that your level of debt/spending is not sustainable and that something will have to change. But you cling to the hope that everything will be sorted without too much pain and sacrifice, taking that step into really doing something is hard! Cashback and canny shopping won't solve it, not shopping at all will!!!

If you are wanting to buy a house (and even if you insist on taking the holiday) surely that's even more incentive to start the dfw way now! To try to reduce the impact that those two things have on your finances. Why keep spending at current levels when you have already realised its not a good idea?! You seem to have the 'last splurge' mentality, missing the point that everything you spend will be paid back, with interest!

Why not use all the information that is available to reduce your outgoings as much as possible - check you're getting the best deals on insurance, utilities, phone, internet etc etc - and start learning to budget. Cut back on non-essential spending, get over to the Old Style board and get lots of tips for reducing your food/household spending. And yes, use cashback sites, but not as a justification for spending when you otherwise wouldn't!

And as for, In theory, my income is greater than my outgoings, but my bank account says differently!, keep a spending diary. Write down everything you spend and what it was on, then add it up at the end of the week/month. Virtually guaranteed to be about double what you'd estimate, same is true for everyone... only need to watch Spendaholics on BBC3 to know that!! A detailed spending diary is part of everyday life to most dfws, no time like the present hey!!

Twon

kathfisch wrote:

From here (and from the admittedly small amount that you've written) it seems like you've had a lightbulb moment of sorts - you've realised that your level of debt/spending is not sustainable and that something will have to change. But you cling to the hope that everything will be sorted without too much pain and sacrifice, taking that step into really doing something is hard! Cashback and canny shopping won't solve it, not shopping at all will!!!

This is where I beg to differ. I look at my Debts (cc/loan/overdraft) as sustainable. Like my mortgage, I can cover the payments and I don't have a problem with that. I was very silly when I was younger and I'm paying the price now.

kathfisch wrote:

If you are wanting to buy a house (and even if you insist on taking the holiday) surely that's even more incentive to start the dfw way now! To try to reduce the impact that those two things have on your finances. Why keep spending at current levels when you have already realised its not a good idea?! You seem to have the 'last splurge' mentality, missing the point that everything you spend will be paid back, with interest!

I think this is why I'm a DFWW not a DFW. I almost agree with the above. The last line isn't correct though. Unlike some people I know that I'll owe everything I spend on the HOAL. I'm not going to hide away and pretend it doesn't exist. It is going to happen. From the sounds of it, it is a very non-DFW thing to do. And that kind of supports what I'm saying. I'm also very happy that you guys have picked up on it and advised against it. If you had done any differently then I'd be very suprised!

kathfisch wrote:

Why not use all the information that is available to reduce your outgoings as much as possible - check you're getting the best deals on insurance, utilities, phone, internet etc etc - and start learning to budget. Cut back on non-essential spending, get over to the Old Style board and get lots of tips for reducing your food/household spending. And yes, use cashback sites, but not as a justification for spending when you otherwise wouldn't!

This is what i'm going for. But I realise that at the moment it isn't an option, to fully give being a DFW the time and dedication it deserves. And I don't want to come on here and fail at what I want to do. At the moment I'm just after smarter shopping. I've spoken about my DVD collection before in this thread (I think it was this one!) and I've not changed my DVD purchasing habit (yet!) so originally I'd have bought CSI season 5 part 2 and the House Season 2 box set from somewhere. CSI is usually about £25-£30 and House season 1 was £50. Impuse buy from just any shop would have cost me over £70 :omg:

I got them through HMV on the quidco site and used a £5 off over £35 so they came in at just over £30 for the pair. Conservative saving of £40.

I'm £40 richer than the old 'Twon' AND i get some C/B from Quidco.

That's what this stage is for me. SMARTER purchasing and SMARTER saving (or paying off debts).

kathfisch wrote:

And as for, In theory, my income is greater than my outgoings, but my bank account says differently!, keep a spending diary. Write down everything you spend and what it was on, then add it up at the end of the week/month. Virtually guaranteed to be about double what you'd estimate, same is true for everyone... only need to watch Spendaholics on BBC3 to know that!! A detailed spending diary is part of everyday life to most dfws, no time like the present hey!!

I think this is when my LBM will happen. I guess I am putting it off. I know probably to the nearest £100 what my debt levels are and I do plan to do this, but only when I get back from my HOAL.

Thanks everyone for your honest replies.

It means a lot.

Twon

Twon

tom188 wrote:

Something to think about - if your debt is at an average of 14% APR, a conservative figure for credit cards - then if you only make the minimum payments it will take you 45 years to repay your debts.

I'm lucky enough to pay more than the minimum payment on my CC.

I think using the link given earlier I'm DF in 2011.

Which isn't bad news.

Could be better though, and thats what I want to work on.

Twon

elantan

can i ask where it is your going .....

GettingThingsDone

Hi Twon! Interesting one - from what I have read over the last few months (and my own personal experience) is that the 'magical' LBM usually comes when things are going really badly i.e. you never have any spare money, you miss credit card payments, bills are piling up, the constant shuffling round of money from here to there to keep everybody 'happy'... etc.

As you say:

I was very silly when I was younger and I'm paying the price now

so you probably know what I'm on about.

Sounds like you're cruising along very nicely at the moment though, so it's not like you have to have a LBM.

I think what the people advising you here are really saying is, in the future when you decide that you are going to be a DFW you will be kicking yourself when you read your posts here.

Do you really need those box sets of DVDs? How much are they really costing you? Generally there isn't a way of spending yourself out of £15K debt (even though quidco is brilliant) and when you stop guessing how much you owe and actually tot it up, your priorities are likely to change.

If you don't have any particular need to be DF, and you can handle your commitments, I would aim for some arbitrary goals to drive you along. For example see the Olympic 2007 Challenge, or think about paying off your mortgage, or how about a year off work - something that can really drive you on. Do you have, or thinking about having children?

Sorry if any of that sounds patronising - not intended. Have a great holiday and try not to spend too much

Twon

GettingThingsDone wrote:

Hi Twon! Interesting one - from what I have read over the last few months (and my own personal experience) is that the 'magical' LBM usually comes when things are going really badly i.e. you never have any spare money, you miss credit card payments, bills are piling up, the constant shuffling round of money from here to there to keep everybody 'happy'... etc.

As you say:



so you probably know what I'm on about.

Sounds like you're cruising along very nicely at the moment though, so it's not like you have to have a LBM.

I think what the people advising you here are really saying is, in the future when you decide that you are going to be a DFW you will be kicking yourself when you read your posts here.

Do you really need those box sets of DVDs? How much are they really costing you? Generally there isn't a way of spending yourself out of £15K debt (even though quidco is brilliant) and when you stop guessing how much you owe and actually tot it up, your priorities are likely to change.

If you don't have any particular need to be DF, and you can handle your commitments, I would aim for some arbitrary goals to drive you along. For example see the Olympic 2007 Challenge, or think about paying off your mortgage, or how about a year off work - something that can really drive you on. Do you have, or thinking about having children?

Sorry if any of that sounds patronising - not intended. Have a great holiday and try not to spend too much

I think you've got the point I was trying (badly) to put across.

Perhaps I wont get a LBM. Its probably a good thing too! I don't fancy getting my cards rejected or people banging on my door.

What I'm trying to do is spend my money smarter. You say "Do I really need those DVD's?" No. I don't need them. But for £30 I've got a good week or so of entertainment for me and the missus. Instead of going out to the pub for dinner and a drink (around £30 for the two of us) we can stay in, cook food we've already bought and chill out. If we stay in it saves us money. Petrol/Parking/Cinema/Pub/ETC.

We enjoy watching CSI / House so we'd have bought the DVD's. Cheap nights in verses More expensive nights out.

My situation is that I am in more debt than I want to be.

I want to try and bring that figure down.

Unfortunately I have something coming up which is going to increase it. I'm happy with that because I know I can deal with it. It isn't me burying my head in the sand. I'm not denying it is a cost. I'm not saying that it doesn't matter. But it is something I can manage. Perhaps thats where the difference comes from.

I wouldn't call myself a DFW yet as thats not where I am. Perhaps I need to give myself a new title...

CMW
Changing My Ways
or
SSN
Start Something New
or
OSAT
One Step A Time

The results of DFW are great and very impressive but as I'm not starting that level of committment I'm not sure if it is fair to them (or me) to class myself as a DFW.

When I'm there, you guys will be the first to know.



Twon

tom188

Twon wrote:

I'm lucky enough to pay more than the minimum payment on my CC.

I think using the link given earlier I'm DF in 2011.

Which isn't bad news.

Could be better though, and thats what I want to work on.

Twon

That figure is calculated if you dont buy anything else on credit from now on. And continue to repay as much as you do.

GettingThingsDone

Twon - no worries, I don't think we get audited on our DFW-ness.

Like all of us on here, you've probably read the following phrases a few times...

My situation is that I am in more debt than I want to be.

I've not checked my accounts yet. I know I'm in debt. I consolidated all my credit cards and loans and then piled them up again.

In theory, my income is greater than my outgoings, but my bank account says differently!

I (personally) don't think the point of being a DFW is to purely to get rid of all of one's debts (and then graduate to the Mortgage Free Wannabes?) although that is always nice. We all have degrees of comfort with debt depending on our circumstances - a few years ago, I would let my cc's get up to £10K and then pay them off in one go - just for the sheer pleasure of it

I think a valuable part of DFW is that you no longer see the £30 box set paid for on a cc as that, but as £30 + all of the interest that you'll be paying on it
for years to come. Not knocking the shows you watch, of course

The point, that I'm clumsily trying to make, is that at the end of the day it is literally down to £'s and pence. Money you own or money you owe. Unless you're on 0% interest cc's have a look at the interest + OD interest you're paying every month - £100's probably? £100's that could be going into your pocket. Instead of sitting in watching a few DVD's just think what you could be doing with all of that money!!

I'm being deliberately provocative - you may well be within your comfort zone, but just think of all of the other things you could be doing or that you could have?

Anyways, enough rambling on from me