Pre Wedding Blues

danielley

I'm hoping that this is quite normal.

I love my fiance and I would marry him this afternoon if I could, but I am getting totally fed up of all the stress and obligation and opinions.

I still haven't found a dress (get married 6 weeks yesterday)

Hen party isn't organised (Mum has fell out with me because I didn't invite my sister, but did invite some friends of friends)

Aunty has told Mum she wont come if my Dad comes!

Im quite stressed at work and i'm not really a centre of attention person, so I have purposely planned a low key wedding, but it's still all too much for me at the moment.

Feeling really naff today.

TamVilla80

If it helps then you're not alone, I've got proper grumps on today too. I'm hoping it's normal (If I knew how to do some kind of hug smilie, then I would put it here for you!)

Our wedding is 7th October and without sounding horrible I can't wait for it to be over at the moment and for life to go back to boring and normal. Like you say, I've got loads of stress at work too, hate being the centre of attention too and I'm finding it a complete mare too. We should get together for a drink, lol

We were supposed to be getting married in June but postponed it 2 weeks before as my dad was poorly. He then passed away suddenly while we were away on what was supposed to be our honeymoon, 5000 miles away. Our venue then cancelled on us because I couldn't decide straight after my Dad died what date we wanted but fortunatly got another venue at a later date. This later date clashed with my former maid of honours holiday (she gets back at lunchtime on the day), who I asked not to come to the day part of our wedding (before I knew she was on holiday) as she was so utterly useless to me when my Dad died and we now only want close family (the thought of getting married without my dad is just hidious, so I want as few people there are possible). Then today, she has just text me from the airport to 'wish me all the best' 'hope the weather holds' and 'sure you will look stunning'. 1) All the best - telling me less than 2 weeks before our wedding from the airport that she isnt coming and all I get is all the best?! 2) Its not about how I look or what the weather is doing, its about marrying the man who has been my rock over the last 5 months, grr.
I've also had a complete stress about my nieces bridesmaid dress as she had a growth spurt between June and September (but got that sorted by dressmaker and her magic wand) and I'm not even going to start about my complete kn**head of a brother in law who I refuse to invite to our wedding as thats a long rant for another day.

Sorry for going off on one, but back to what I was originally going to say, which was you're not alone and it will all be worth it x

danielley

TamVilla80 I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

Thanks for sharing your story and it does help to know that its not just me who can't wait for everything to be boring and normal again.

I'd love to take you up on that drink

I'm feeling quite a bit brighter as the day has gone on, I've decided to bake some yummy food to destress, i've made welsh cakes and i'm making a Jamie Oliver Pea, streaky bacon & goats cheese risotto later.

nunnygirl

danielley wrote: »

I'm hoping that this is quite normal.

I love my fiance and I would marry him this afternoon if I could, but I am getting totally fed up of all the stress and obligation and opinions.

Totally know where you're coming from, I've had nothing but hassle this week from family and it's driven me mad. I've been so stressed my dermatitis (sp) is flaring up left right and centre

I still haven't found a dress (get married 6 weeks yesterday)

I'm just under 2 weeks away and still haven't got mine :eek: It's supposed to be on it's way but I'll not hold my breath!

Hen party isn't organised (Mum has fell out with me because I didn't invite my sister, but did invite some friends of friends)

I'm not having one as no-one has offered to arrange one:( I would have said no to one anyway but the offer would have been nice

Aunty has told Mum she wont come if my Dad comes!

Really don't know what to say regards this....don't they realise it's your day and not theirs? Can they not put problems aside to be there for you?

Im quite stressed at work and i'm not really a centre of attention person, so I have purposely planned a low key wedding, but it's still all too much for me at the moment.

Sending you lots of (albeit dodgy!) hugs :grouphug:

Feeling really naff today.

I've written what I think in red for you


Tam, hey! How are you? Sorry to hear about your dad

TamVilla80

Danielley - Thanks x Mmh, welsh cakes. You have made me really hungry now, haven't had welsh cakes in ages! I think normal and boring is understated, can't wait, lol. It will be fine, whatever everyone is hasseling you about with come and go, and you will have your man forever after. It's your day, and if I have learn anything over the last few months, its that its up to you to do what you want. If people don't understand that then that is their problem.

Nunnygirl - Hi fellow ex-Juner, how are you? What day are you getting married now? I'm ok, had an amazingly crap few months but getting there, thanks x What's happening with your dress?

nunnygirl

tamvilla80 wrote:

It's your day, and if I have learn anything over the last few months, its that its up to you to do what you want. If people don't understand that then that is their problem

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T nothing to say to this

We're not bad thanks hun, I'm getting super excited/nervous. We're getting married on the 8th now

Dress....well I ordered one and it didn't fit properly so I sent it back and I'm waiting for the replacement which is apparently on it's way:question::question:

codemonkey

I felt like this before the wedding. Like I didn't even want to do it. All the family hassle and there was so much to do...

What I'd say is try to enjoy the build up as much as you can. The details don't matter on the day and before you know it, the day will have happened, life has returned to normal and you'll be looking longingly at your dress/flowers/photos feeling sad because its all over and you're not the special, lovely bride anymore.

kmmr

I'm very stressed too at the moment about it all. Wedding is the weekend after next, and I feel like we have had a raft of cancellations in the last week or so. It's already a bit small for the venue, and if people keep cancelling the place will look empty!

I am tempted to 'upgrade' some of the evening people, but I am not sure if I should just not worry. Been stressing all day about it. Plus OH's family seem to be cancelling which really is starting to get me down. Would be nice to get a bit of enthuasiasm from them!

Dekazer

Sorry to hear about your Dad Tam.

Like many other posters here I definitely have gloomy times! For some reason, lately I have found myself getting particularly tense about wedding stuff last thing at night - I've had some pretty weird dreams lately. I've also found myself waking up tense too. Little by little we're making progress and I keep trying to tell myself that. But I can't help really looking forward to it all being done.

Danielley, you're certainly not the only one!

danielley

Thanks so much to you all for the replies, deep down I knew that this must be normal, as all families/situations are the same but I was worried that I would be the only bride who is not jumping for joy with only 6 weeks to go!

nunnygirl - Any update on the dress? Yes you would think my Aunty could put her feelings to one side, and I'm hoping she will.

codemonkey - I will try and take your words on board, My Mum said the exact same to me on Saturday, this should be an exciting time, not a miserable one!

kmmr - If it would make you feel better about the numbers,I would definitely consider upgrading some evening guests, this has happened at most weddings i've attended and those who are 'upgraded' have always really appreciated it. Will you lose/save any money by reducing the numbers for the cancellations? Maybe let that be your guide?

Dekazer - I've had nightmares over the hen party which were really disturbing, and like you, its when I go to bed I start to mull over everything. I'm hoping that when I am more organised I will be more relaxed.

Hugs to you all and thanks for your support.

kmmr

Thanks Danielley, that's actually really helped. You are right, people will appreciate it. In general I struggle with the evening vs day guests, so I am always sensitive to upsetting people, but actually most people do understand. And I don't think the others will be offended, if they even find out.

Evening invitations don't exist in my home country, so the whole thing is weird to me... so I am not good at understanding the protocol!

Excellent, I am much happier now! I will confirm with OH and then send out a few 'upgrades'.