Real life MMD: Should she pay for my horse?

joehoover

Lot of people here have horses ... I think Martin will need to add it to one of the budget tools under outgoing expenses: council tax, Gas bill, horsey costs



To be fair for £220 you'll have to write it off, sounds very cheap in comparison what I'd have to pay for my cat's emergency treatment. A lot of people are suggesting you should have insurance but the excess on a horse I imagine would surely wipe the £220 out anyway more or less, wouldn't be worth claiming.

Unless what she did was completely malicious or downright stupid then just ignore it, if she genuinely had idea on her actions then she shouldn't be looking after her without proper knowledge, or she just needs you to educate her more. She may be distraught by what happened, we just don;t know enough facts to comment properly.

Someone feeding my fish thought the entire tub of food was a daily portion, they binge ate til they could eat no more. R.I.P.

I can only transplant the scenario to my pets, regardless of what happens my cat is my responsibility and animals and people get sick, sometimes that's just life. Personally I am against a blame culture, not saying this happened with you as I don't know enough facts but people in general pass off responsibilities. I think this is just one of those live and learn lessons.

joehoover

joehoover wrote: »

Lot of people here have horses ... I think Martin will need to add it to one of the budget tools under outgoing expenses: council tax, Gas bill, horsey costs



To be fair for £220 you'll have to write it off, sounds very cheap in comparison what I'd have to pay for my cat's emergency treatment. A lot of people are suggesting you should have insurance but the excess on a horse I imagine would surely wipe the £220 out anyway more or less, wouldn't be worth claiming.

Unless what she did was completely malicious or downright stupid then just ignore it, if she genuinely had idea on her actions then she shouldn't be looking after her without proper knowledge, or she just needs you to educate her more. She may be distraught by what happened, we just don;t know enough facts to comment properly.

Someone feeding my fish thought the entire tub of food was a daily portion, they binge ate til they could eat no more. R.I.P.

I can only transplant the scenario to my pets, regardless of what happens my cat is my responsibility and animals and people get sick, sometimes that's just life. Personally I am against a blame culture, not saying this happened with you as I don't know enough facts but people in general pass off responsibilities. I think this is just one of those live and learn lessons.

Sorry, just seen your responses which answers some of the unknown, seems very careless she missed clearly labelled product and her knowledge shoudl have been plenty to not make this error. Let her explain what happened as it needs to be avoided in future, you don't want to lose her you say as a friend or helper, then if that is the case then don't let the £220 be an issue, sit and talk over it and clear the air.

RealLifeMoralMoney

What advice did you give her initially about whether to feed the horse at all, how to mix the food, when the horse should eat etc?

She came up to supervise and be taught 8 times and knew that feeding the horse was part of the daily routine that would be expected of her on the day she was responsible.

As a horse owner, I find it incredible that a 21 year old with 15 years around horses, and with a BHS qualification does not know the dangers of un-soaked sugar beet, or the difference in appearance between sugar beet and nuts.

She admitted that she had been 'taught' the difference when qualifying but had not had any practical experience of feeding sugar beet. My horse was not being fed sugar beet when the incident happened, so we had not discussed it other than me saying "That is sugar beet, they dont have it at the moment so no need to soak any'. And to tell her about the incident at the last yard when someone had fed it unsoaked.

I think there must be other factors you are not telling us - perhaps the mental capacity of the sharer? Drink or drugs problem?

Haha. no. She said she just scooped the feed into the buckets on auto pilot and gave it to the horse. It seemed that maybe she had some thing on her mind and she was distracted or maybe it was because her mum had arrived to collect her.

I am still following this story, even though, upfront, I think it is really just a journalistic fable.

I cannot understand how a 21 year old, with 15 years experience of horses, and BHS Qualifications, and studying Equine Sports Science, has never handled sugar beet, and is not vividly aware of its dangers. For Gods sake, its written in big letters on every bag of the stuff. And the manufacturers make it to look nothing like pony nuts, for obvious reasons.

Definitely not a fable. This girl has never owned a horse herself. She has had weekly lessons for 15 years, ridden other people's horses and been around horses in university. She is an amazing rider and has excellent knowledge when it comes to all things taught (points of the horse, parts of tack etc). What she lacked is practical experience of the day-to-day stuff. Thats is why she came up 8 times to go through the routine before doing it on her own. I honestly think she was in a rush or distracted and scooped up feed from the wrong bin. The sugar beet was in a bin so there was no bag to read.

"a bucket full"

It was two scoops in a small bucket. Perhaps a slight exaggeration.

Finally, why is this on MoneySavingExpert, instead of Horse and Hound?

Because it is about who should pay the bill

Does she have her own insurance for riding?

Yes, and it covers my horse while she is riding her

And who-ever feeds pony nuts neat? They are usually, if not always, fed with something fibrous, such as chaff and/or beet.

Thats not true at all. My horse gets neat coarse mix as she tips of the bucket and eats round the chaff if I add any. My old mare that died had bad teeth and so had neat nuts mixed with some warm water to soften them. My horses always have good quality hay/haylage ad lib and do not bolt their feed, so there is no need to bulk it up.

A lot of people are suggesting you should have insurance but the excess on a horse I imagine would surely wipe the £220 out anyway more or less, wouldn't be worth claiming.

My horse is fully insured for everything except vet bills, which she can not be covered for as she is too old.

FattyBettyBoo

It sounds like she is a good horse woman who just lacks a bit of practical experience, and for some reason (distracted/in a rush) made a silly mistake.

The question is, should people be made to pay when they make a silly mistake?

I assume the vet bill came to you and your name as its your horse, so you should pay it and she should, morally, give you something towards it as it was her 'fault'. How you would go about asking without offending I do not know. And if you cant think of a way then don't.

Maybe it just hasn't occurred to her. Is there some else who can introduce the subject tactfully and see what she says?

I think there is a huge difference in the responses on here from horsey people and non-horsey people. Those that dont have horses dont seem to be fully aware of how things are in the horsey world. I cant think of ANYONE who looks after their own horse 100% of the time - it isn't practical and doesn't make sense.

MacHatter

"It was verbally agreed I would pay the day to day costs, but that she would look after my horse one day per week."

Wouldn't vet bills be 'day to day costs' given that they're almost a certainty? The main problem here is that you've not thought through and agreed the detail, it wouldn't be difficult to predict something like this happening.

I think you should probably ask her for 1/7th of the cost, given that she's responsible for looking after your horse 1 day a week. That way you're probably not going to fall out and she gets some warning that there are consequences to making mistakes. If you don't make her contribute at all, she's not going to focus any harder next time is she?

Zent

RealLifeMoralMoney -
Many thanks for taking the trouble to provide your explanations.

Taking these into account, I now think your friend should pay 100% of the vet's bill. If she is still having weekly lessons, then perhaps she could/should forgo about six lessons, and use the money saved each week for the vet bill. Actually she is probably gaining far more valuable skills from looking after your horse than she would from six riding lessons. At 21, the financial loss may then help to teach her that as adults we are responsible for our actions.

Good luck with the relationship. I like the idea of your 23 year old still being ridden regularly, and I appreciate from my own life how important the one-day-a-week-off can be.

Final, final comment - did she really think two Stubbs scoops of pony nuts (3 to 3.5kg) in one feed, with no fibre? Bailey's website, for instance recommends no more than 2kg in one feed; more increases the risk of colic. Worrying that she has forgotten everything they told her about feeding on her BHS courses. :eek:

FattyBettyBoo

Worrying that she has forgotten everything they told her about feeding on her BHS courses

I think its often the case that the theory is learned text book style and not applied practically. Then eventually when the person actually has a horse to feed the info is ether lost or just not apllied

babushkava

I Would definitely not charge - or expect a contribution from - this young girl for her mistake. Your relationship with her is not a financial one. It is a goodwill sharer one. The only reasonable contribution you can ask for is additional time. You can say to her, "given that I have had this unexpected vet's bill for the food mix-up and I am sure that you are not in a position to help with it financially, I understand that...can you give me an extra day a week for 6 weeks and then we will be all square?"
That preserves the young girl's dignity, she does not have to carry guilt around. You would probably benefit from the extra help and this would mellow you about your bill. Win-win.

Ebenezer_Screwj

The verbal agreement and who should do what is irrelevant - she has poisoned your horse. The very least she can do is to pay the vet's bill, if it were my horse she would be accountable through the courts.

JayD

Have you discussed this feeding incident with her at all? I can't imagine that you haven't, if only to ensure that she doesn't do it again! And do you know her financial situation?
I am sure that if she knew what had unfolded after feeding the horse that day she would feel very upset and be extremely apologetic and - if her financial circumstances permitted - she may even offer something towards the vet bill.

You really haven't given us enough to go on here and it would seem very odd to me, if I were in her position, to be approached for a contribution towards the vet bill anytime other than immediately after you had received it.