Not so old style

avantra

Just saw this article and it really left me with bitter taste on how far we still have to go

Trying to instill this forum principles to my young ones is a tough job but I am hanging there as I think long term.

valk_scot

I know it's not quite the same but one of the families down the street from me has pre-school kids. The three year old was pointing at my apple tree the other day and asking his dad about the apples etc. I overheard this and said I'd be delighted if they would come in and pick a few (got hundreds). The little boy was jumping up and down at the prospect of picking real apples but his dad briskly told him they had no time for that sort of thing, they needed to get back for him (dad) to do some work and he'd buy him a sweetie at the shop instead. I gave the little boy an apple directly of course but you could see how utterly disappointed he was at not being able to pick it himself. How long would it have taken the dad? Five minutes?

p-pincher

God that makes depressing reading doesn't it. I can only hope im doing enough to try to make sure my kids have the opposite upbringing to the one mentioned in the article. Little things can make a huge difference, eating together every night, even when ive had a bad day at wokr, eating breakfast together at weekends, even if i really really want a lie in, Swimmimg and dancing classes so they learn a good skill, get exercise and have a wider circle of friends. I wont allow my 2 dd's a tv in the bedroom at all, we werent allowed one til i was about 15 and i honestly think they play a massive part in in 'splitting' the family up.

rachbc

See this report has made me sooo mad today - absolutely everyone I know plays with their kids - form the consultant paediatrian next door to the young mums I work with.

My kids have some stuff - not loads but probably more than they need but I don't buy it to slave my conscience I buy it if I can get a bargain, , if I think they will use it lots, if we will get good value form it and sometimes yeah cos I want to 'spoil' them. BUt never as a replacement for spending time with them.

valk_scot

I don't mind them having a tv each in their bedrooms for DVDs (the bedroom ones aren't connected to an ariel) and that's where the XboX and Wii live as well. If they've got friends in I don't necessarily want them all cluttering up the lounge arguing about who gets what and which zappy machine goes on next. I don't like the telly being on at random unless someone is actually watching something either. What we do have though is Family DVD Night, usually Sunday, when we all choose and watch something together.

The kids have a lot of sporting activities at weekends and both hubby and I make an effort to come along and watch as much as possible...not training perhaps, but games and such. Oh, the joys of a rugby touchline at 11am on a rainy Sunday morning! I don't like to just drop them off and pick them up. We also go on quite a few family type trips or outings at weekends...used to go out cycling together, for example, and next weekend we're off to a re-enactment of a local battle. We also take our kids along to our activities sometimes if appropriate...Hubby does wargaming and DS likes that, I do a lot of craft stuff and DD comes with me to events or meetings. (Yeah, it's terribly sexist, sorry!) So really there's more to it than just watching the telly together. Oh yeah, and there's chore time. We do chores together. Does that count as "family time", lol?

They do get quite a lot of "things" too, come to think of it. Not as compensation for family time or to keep up with the Joneses but if we think they're use and appreciate a new toy or game and the budget will stretch (or I can get it second hand) then they'll get it if appropriate. There's a balance between giving them everything and deliberately restricting them to a level unusually different to their peer group. DS has a friend whose mother does not allow her son tv, dvds, electronic games, cinema trips, a mobile phone or any computer access other than for homework. The boy (he's 15) is growing up increasingly isolated from other kids because he has less and less in common when it comes to conversation. Now that's not ideal either, is it?

rachbc

valk_scot wrote: »

I don't mind them having a tv each in their bedrooms for DVDs (the bedroom ones aren't connected to an ariel) and that's where the XboX and Wii live as well. If they've got friends in I don't necessarily want them all cluttering up the lounge arguing about who gets what and which zappy machine goes on next. I don't like the telly being on at random unless someone is actually watching something either. What we do have though is Family DVD Night, usually Sunday, when we all choose and watch something together.

The kids have a lot of sporting activities at weekends and both hubby and I make an effort to come along and watch as much as possible...not training perhaps, but games and such. Oh, the joys of a rugby touchline at 11am on a rainy Sunday morning! I don't like to just drop them off and pick them up. We also go on quite a few family type trips or outings at weekends...used to go out cycling together, for example, and next weekend we're off to a re-enactment of a local battle. We also take our kids along to our activities sometimes if appropriate...Hubby does wargaming and DS likes that, I do a lot of craft stuff and DD comes with me to events or meetings. (Yeah, it's terribly sexist, sorry!) So really there's more to it than just watching the telly together. Oh yeah, and there's chore time. We do chores together. Does that count as "family time", lol?

Yep chores def count as family time - they are learning important lifeskills, and if its anything like my 4 yo cleaning the shower its more fun, splashing and bubbles than bath time!

salome

Makes you think doesn't it. They had a bit about it on radio 4 this morning.
We are a large family. There is telly in two of the bedrooms, but it isn't used much, mainly when they've put themselves to bed.
We still get a lot of together time. We more or less eat at the same time. Some are working so don't always get back when dinner is dished up, but they will still sit with us and eat when they get home even if it is the living room. I also make sure we have a family night when all the children able can get together and we have a games and nibble night :-) This is usally at least once a month, sometimes a bit longer, but I don't leave it too long.
Also, because we are of many, I make sure I catch up with the older children, and have some time with them, even my 33yr old who is married. I find that that is very important. Monday I was going to have a cuppa with my 20yr old. It didn't work out as she was later back from work than I thought she would be, so we had a catch up time in the kitchen while I did the bit's of work I needed to do :-) It was lovely.
So sad about the little lad not allowed to pick apples :-(
Two of my girls went blackberrying yesterday, and loved it. (33yr old and 23yr old lol) OH (55yr old) came home after walking the Rottie with some fallers from a near by cooking apple tree, which is on no mans land. So I shall be busy making crumbles later I think, with I hope, the help of my homeschooling 14yr old :-)

x

Margaret52129

My DD lived across the road from an allotment and we are always showing DGS all the plants. If they've got raspberries hanging over the wall, he's always pinching them

I took him blackberrying the other week, and then he ate the pie and loved it.

I have a friend who has an apple(cookers) and pear tree in her garden and we visited her in summer when the fruits were small, I've just been given a bag of each now that they're ready. He had one of the pears and he was really pleased with it. OH and I went out blackberrying so now we have lovely jams to eat. When we show DGS I think he's be interested (he's only 3!)

I think its very important to teach them these values in life - and they do say that the best things in life are free!!!