OH just doesn't understand!

bagginslover

How do I get my OH to understand that dogs don't understand the concept of concequences?

Night before last our dog went through the contents of my handbag, spreading them far and wide to get at the bird seed I'd forgotten was in there. I was livid, but didn't punish him other than to say 'no' when he tried to stop me clearing up.
Last night, dog pooped all over his bed (big cushion type) then folded the cushion in half (I think to hide it) and slept on it (he had other places he could have slept, daft animal!). OH finds him and goes crazy! Shouts at the dog (no hitting I'd like to point out, made it very clear from the start than no-one hits the dog, ever) and decided he get to sleep on bare floor to 'serve him right'.

I have tried to explain to him many, many times that dogs do not have any idea of the concept of consequences, and no ammount of taking away privaledges will encourage him to behave in the manner we'd like. He also doesn't get the idea of positive reinforcement, and just cannot seem to ignore the bad stuff (which is few and far between, this incident wasn't even naughtiness, its a side effect of the drugs he is on, plus he got LOTS to eat yesterday, so our fault really.).

Has anyone else sucessfully turned around someone who just couldn't get these basic facts? How?!

The dog responds really well to me using PR, but is hit and miss on obedience with OH, and I think this is why-if he doesn't do something right away he puts a growly voice on instead of a super exciting happy voice-he just can't understand why one works better than the other :mad:

Any help, advice or links to stuff I could show him would be most appreciated :beer:

lostinrates

I think I'd say to OH its hard to teach the dog consequences when he's struggling. The consequence of not providing adaquate toileting time/walks until seeing a poop if it normally happens in the evening is having to clear up poop in the morning.

The consequence of making a dog sleep on the barefloor (and I think your's is a pointy dog, a lurcher or grey type?) is heamatomas on the elbows.



Obviously you have to keep working on things like leaving your bag alone and housetraining...but shouting is more likely to result in another puddle.

What about you oh doing a PR focused class with the dog once a week...nothing fancy, just something to get ihim to appreciate the benefit of a calm, pr approach and to build their rappour?

CompBunny

My partner understands and agrees with positive reinforcement....until doggedy-dog does something bad...then its all forgotten. Shouting commences.

I think it can in some cases be a gender thing. Women can be more patient and nurturing and gentle towards a long term solution (praise for good, ignore fully for bad etc), whereas men like to sort out a situation there and then(shout for bad, punish in some way, praise for extra-good behaviour).

Wish I had a solution for you!

bagginslover

He is a pointy dog yes, a lurcher (3/4 grey, 1/4 something else, bull-y type we think )

Do you mean turn it round so the consequences are on OH? Do you mean letting him deal out the consequences to the dog (like letting him get the bruises from the hard floor:eek:) and then let OH deal with it....I wouldn't be happy with that, and I'm pretty sure thats not what you mean, but I'm not the best at understanding it seems!

Dog did get a poop on his evening walk last night, but he had consumed a LOT more than usual during the day yesterday (was a bit spoilt if I'm honest!), which is our fault of course, not the dogs.

We do go to a training class with him, but OH refuses to take part as he gets frustrated with the dog too quickly, so I do it every week. The class isn't PR based, the trainer doesn't like that method to be truthful, but I don't use the negative bits of his methods, just the positive, and it does work....but as I said, OH won't take part. Its the only class thats close enough for us to get to after work too, all the other beginners classes, which are alwatys earlier in the evening we just can't get there with a 5.30 finish, which is very limiting .

Do you know of any PR websites at all? even youtube channels? (I will look myself too, but more heads= better results ) I just really need to get it through to him before their bond gets irreparably damaged

lostinrates

bagginslover wrote: »

He is a pointy dog yes, a lurcher (3/4 grey, 1/4 something else, bull-y type we think )

Do you mean turn it round so the consequences are on OH? Do you mean letting him deal out the consequences to the dog (like letting him get the bruises from the hard floor:eek:) and then let OH deal with it....I wouldn't be happy with that, and I'm pretty sure thats not what you mean, but I'm not the best at understanding it seems!

aBSOLUTELY NOT WHAT i MEAN! Ooops, caps lock....no...when he says ''the consequence of the poopy bed is that the dog must lie on the floor'' say ''the consequence of that is that you get to pay for a vet to look at his capped elbows'' (incidentally, capped elbows aren't inthem selves anuess is some ''issue'' but my guess is some discomfort goes into them being formed!)


There are loads of PR things on you tube, mainly to do with clicker. I am a particular fan of clicker and chickens, of which there are many clips. we click chickens sometimes because its good for timing, though usually I do not use a clicker. I'm not very good at ''sjhaping'' so that's something else I try and practise with the chickens...they are far less helpful than dogs, so its a better challenge!

bagginslover

I thought I must be reading it wrong, thanks for clarifying

OK, so when he makes a consequence for the dog, tell him the consequence of that consequence...I see some quick thinking is going to be needed here, hope the old grey matter is up to it! :eek:

Compbunny-thats exactly it! When I explain it to him, and show him myself, he seems to get it, but in the heat of the moment he just forgets totally! I think with him it is a 'man thing', his dad is very similar, and was the same with his own dog, so its probably a learned thing from when OH was little too.

He also compares our dog to his dads old (OH's childhood) dog. I don't think that helps at all either.
His Dads dog was also a rescue, but came from a home, so was fully house trained etc- ours was an outside dog before he was rescued and so piddled and pooped indoors for about a week (which I thought was a very short amount of time to be clean!).

I've just gotten back from letting the dog out with OH for his lunch time walk, and OH is fine again now, and apologised to the dog (!), so he does know he reacted badly, I suppose he needs as much training, if not more than the dog does!!:A

sassygirl_2

easy solution to this:

When OH so much as lets out the smallest amount of wind in bed or on the sofa, you say

"ewww thats disgusting you horrible creature, you now sleep/sit on the floor with no bedding/cushion"

When he goes in the kitchen for something to eat and looks in the cupboards or the fridge, you say

"Bad boy, you dont eat until i say so, or dish it out to you, then shut him out the kitchen"

So on and so forth, he'll soon get the idea

Person_one

Do you have children? Does he know any children?

bagginslover

sassygirl wrote: »

easy solution to this:

When OH so much as lets out the smallest amount of wind in bed or on the sofa, you say

"ewww thats disgusting you horrible creature, you now sleep/sit on the floor with no bedding/cushion"

When he goes in the kitchen for something to eat and looks in the cupboards or the fridge, you say

"Bad boy, you dont eat until i say so, or dish it out to you, then shut him out the kitchen"

So on and so forth, he'll soon get the idea

LOVE that idea, though I think I'd soon be learning that its not my home anymore if I tried it

Person_one wrote: »

Do you have children? Does he know any children?

We don't no, but he has a step-neice who is 8, and a 'proper' neice who is 7 months, why?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

bagginslover wrote: »

LOVE that idea, though I think I'd soon be learning that its not my home anymore if I tried it

Take the dog with you, all your problems regarding the OH and the dog are solved. Simples.

bagginslover

Yeeeees, but I'd then have a whole new set of problems as the only place I have to go is my parents, and they have 2 rather tasty looking (in the dogs eyes) cats! :eek: Dog would HAVE to come with me if I were ever to leave anyway, as it was me who adopted him officially, and so he has to either stay with me, or go back to the rescue

Thats not going to happen though, and I know you meant it toungue in cheek :beer: