Will I ever be employable? (4 year gap/SAHM)

In_the_red

I am just wondering if any body has any positive stories of finding a job after being a stay at home mum (not on maternity leave) for several years and any advice on how? (this may be long)

A bit of background so you know my skills :
I got pregnant during my AS levels in 6th form, I was on track & really into Media Studies which is the area I always wanted to be in. The focus on a media career paid off and I came out with full marks and a nice 'A' grade. I got a C in ICT and the subjects I had no drive for I got 2 D's (General Studies & Psychology) however this didn't phase me.

Upon returning to 6th form for A levels (sickness in full swing) I decided that Media will be my only focus and anything else was a bonus. I dropped Psychology and half heartedly attended ICT & General studies lessons if they where within a reasonable time scale to my media lessons. As the pregnancy developed I didn't want to be hanging about all day. During this time my Mum/Stepdad owned a Kitchen & Bathroom Company and as I was income-less she put me on her books. I thrived in this job and loved every minute of it, my Mum decided to give me all of her hours (me thinking so she could shop but after the baby was born she told me it was because she wanted me to feel like I was providing for the baby my self- which I greatly appreciate). I split up with FOB so there I was a single mother to be. My crutch was my family who helped me get everything I could ever wish for regarding nursery items/clothes etc. A very bad pregnancy which left me ICU for 5 days and numerous more hospital visits (on top of the others) meant I was too weak for work or school. I completed my school work from home & eventually came out with a 'B' at A level Media (much to my disappointment & 2 D's).

Fast forward to the SAHM bit. I had my daughter (on my 18th birthday btw :eek:) moved out to my own home nearby but what followed I was not expecting, severe PnD & anxiety, topped up with..agoraphobia This blew every chance of University out of the water. I had councillors, inclusion workers, attended workshops etc and eventually I felt semi normal (although I do still have anxieties going out alone I believe being in employment would make me more confident and try the flight or fight approach). I have completed a college course in the evenings and have another qualification now.

However, Applying for jobs non stop for well over a year and having no such luck I am totally out of my mind. My daughter starts nursery in September (the free 15 hours a week) and I don't want to be a lazy !!! mum who sits at home while her kids are out. I can't see a way out of this. I have applied for a degree on the Open Uni (Childhood & youth Studies )and I am thinking of during these childless 15 hours a week I volunteer as a classroom assistant but in the mean time how do I get over this Gap? I need a job for my own sanity it is making me slip back into a depression knowing how unemployable I am and a typical 'benefit mum' yet I think I'm reasonably intelligent.

I realise this was a bit rambled but please, can someone help me out in a way of advice or share their 'success story' Again, please be kind :A edited to add: Before I gave birth my parents showroom got sold and they carried on with the business from home, thus no job for me.

moo2moo

I can sympathise. I discovered I was pregnant in the final year of a five year science based degree course. I gave birth just before the graduation ceremony. I was a skint stay at home mum for eight years, most of which I loved but at the point my children started nursery the boredom kicked in and with it the sense of worthlessness. I started Avon purely because it got me out of the house. Made me excercise and crucially fitted in around nursery hours and school holidays and could be done with a pram if needed. It didn't bring in a great amount of money but it was a start. After that every job I've ever had has been word of mouth rather than formal applications.

The job I do now is endless fun, flexible hours, slightly better than minimum wage but with the bonus of a boss who allows me to do my hours as they fit in with my family. I ended up with it purely by accident just by being in the right place at the right time.

Volunteer away. It looks good on your CV. Its great experience, great fun and it gets you doing something you enjoy. You might even find theres a one year locally based teaching assistant or childcare course that the school will support you with and allow you to gain the hands on experience thats essential. Pop into the schools and ask. The courses will all be starting in the next few weeks and you've nothing to lose and eveything to gain.

Good luck!

chocaholic2009

I managed to get a job after 11 years of being a stay at home mum! I was lucky in that I had gained some professional qualifications and 4 years work experience before I gave up. What most impressed the people that interviewed me was that I carried on learning (did a course in counselling etc) and did lots of voluntary work whilst the children were younger. I sat on most committees going (Preschool council, pta, mother and toddler committee) and also worked at a Charity Shop. Then when asked tricky questions I could use the experiences I had gained there to help me.

For example - the committees gave me lots of examples of working in a team. The charity shop gave me examples of solving problems, working with tricky customers etc.

Have you had any feedback on your applications? Are you getting any interviews - if not, it may be worth going back and looking at your CV and maybe getting some advice on it. Is the jobcentre any help with CV skills and interview skills?

Good luck with the job hunt, and don't give up, it seems to me you are doing all the right things, just got to keep on going!

EconomicsGirl

I've not been in this situation but a lot of Mums in this situation I beleive do voluntary work and / or courses first to refresh their skills. Its certainly not too late to go to university though obviously a lot more expensive than it was.

Its also worth really thinking about what you want to do and then maybe going to a careers adviser to get help with this. Say you want to work in media then say volunteer at a radio station (or wherever you'ld like to work). I'ld also have back-up careers incase the first is too competitive. It would be worth asking people in the field you want to work in how they would go about getting in. Normally enthusiasm and keeping trying are important. Good luck!

wendydarling

I would say voluntary work or if there is something in particular you want to do/company you want to work for then see if you can do a work placement with them. It is tough working for no pay but very often if you impress them then they will keep you in mind for future vacancies.

In_the_red

Thanks for taking the time to comment and sharing your stories. I have long give up on media unfortunately. Most of the good jobs seem to be in London/Manchester anyway and being available for very long hours are in the desirables. So I am giving my other dream job a go (Which I done work experience shadowing one aged 15) a learning mentor.

I think the definate way to go is to do some volunteering whilst doing a degree from home. I live 2 doors away from a primary school which is helpful so will call in this week and enquire. Just really wish some jobs would come up for a part time job whilst I do so but as much as it frustrates me I appreciate that we are in a bad financial climate. Just feel so down about not only being a young mum, but one that hasn't attended university nor held down a proper job either. I have no idea how some people enjoy just sitting around taking for as long as possible!!

MrsManda

In_the_red wrote: »

I think the definate way to go is to do some volunteering whilst doing a degree from home. I live 2 doors away from a primary school which is helpful so will call in this week and enquire. Just really wish some jobs would come up for a part time job whilst I do so but as much as it frustrates me I appreciate that we are in a bad financial climate. Just feel so down about not only being a young mum, but one that hasn't attended university nor held down a proper job either. I have no idea how some people enjoy just sitting around taking for as long as possible!!

Have a look on the do-it website for volunteering opportunities, you can search by type of volunteering, how far you're willing to travel and how much time you have to give. https://www.do-it.org.uk/
Have you considered becoming a school governor? It's a voluntary role but could get you some good educational experience.
https://www.sgoss.org.uk

It's the time of year where seasonal work is being advertised, you may be able to get a PT job in a shop/supermarket for a few months at least which will allow you to build up some work history.

Are you signing on for JSA? A family member is currently going through a messy divorce and has been a SAHM for 27 years with no qualifications or experience. She's signed on to JSA and they've sent her on a computer training course and I think she's got another course coming up though I cannot remember what that's for. It's allowing her to get some up to date skills and qualifications plus helping her build up her confidence.

Don't worry too much about not having been to university or having held down a proper job, you've been looking after your children.
I've been to university twice, dropped out twice due to illness and have not had a job since 2008 due to university and illness. The gaps in my work history are due to illness - I think you've got a better chance of employment with your gap due to caring for your child than I do.
The employment market is a lot harder than it was last time I was job hunting but I'm sure we'll both get work eventually

smileylondongal

I second Do It, they're excellent and if going into childcare is something you might want to investigate then you're really just needing to get your foot in the door - the best way to do this is to volunteer. You never know, something more tangible might come along through it.

Bennifred

Just wanted to wish you the very best of luck, and with your attitude I'm sure you will find what you are looking for!

I was a SAHM for 19 years!:cool: (worked in medical research prior to children) and loved it, despite suffering from PND after each child - was on every commitee going at schools, etc. My youngest is very dyslexic, so I educated myself all about that in order to support him.
Then when he started at secondary school I asked the SENCO if I could shadow a TA for a week to see if that job would be one that suited me should a vacancy come up. I also did a local authority TA traing course. The fact that I knew a fair amount about dyslexia, had always helped with reading etc at primary school helped. The SENCO agreed, it did suit and when a vacancy arose I applied and was appointed. That was over 7 years ago......

Four years? A blink of the eye, lol!

snugglepet20

I think your plan is good. Doing open university will give you the qualifications you need without spending a fortune and as a Mum you will miss out on the regular university student lifestyle anyway, no point being out drinking til 3am when you have to be up at 7! The volunteer work at the school will help you to get on a teacher training course when you have finished your degree and a school may offer you a paid teachers assistant job in the meantime.
I know giving up on media seems hard but jobs in that area are like rocking horse poo particularly when you are not in the major cities. My sister has a degree in journalism from a top university and lived in Manchester, the best she gets is the odd temp shift at the BBC, the rest of the time she is a doctors receptionist.

In_the_red

I've found LOTS I want to do on the Do-it site, thank you very much, here's hoping I'm successful & they will let me volunteer