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Would having a best man like this annoy you?
July2012
Posts: 5 Forumite
My oh has asked his oldest school friend to be his best man.
Problem for me is I am gradually more and more thinking that he will be a complete night mare.
He has told Oh that he wil most likely be too busy to plan his stag do.
And today, all three of us were at a friends wedding, where they both did a reading in the church.
His friend moaned about this constantly and said he didn't believe and therefore refused to take part in any other part of the ceremony. No singing or anything what so ever.
After the ceremony was do e he proceeded to moan about the church bells and how long the photos were taking and kept asking us to leave with him.
On a number of occaisions he turned to me and said 'I hope your wedding won't be like this!'.
He moaned about having to wear a suit and didn't prepare in advance so ended ip wearing s mid-matched suit that didn't fit.
At the reception hd had an argument with everyone at the table who tried to make small talk to him and was very rude. (we happen to know that this is just how he is, but to complete strangers, it gets a bit embarrassing).
He also spent most of the night sitting as far away from the celebrations as possible, hidden by some trees, on his phone.
When the first dance was called, we came to get him and he told us that he wasn't bothered and stayed where he was.
Now we are all home (having left early out of embarrassment), and I just want him out of my house, and for him not to be vest man at our wedding.
I really think he will ruin it.
He obviously doesn't want to do it.
What would you think?
Am i over reacting?!
I havent mentioned any of how I feel to the oh yet.
Problem for me is I am gradually more and more thinking that he will be a complete night mare.
He has told Oh that he wil most likely be too busy to plan his stag do.
And today, all three of us were at a friends wedding, where they both did a reading in the church.
His friend moaned about this constantly and said he didn't believe and therefore refused to take part in any other part of the ceremony. No singing or anything what so ever.
After the ceremony was do e he proceeded to moan about the church bells and how long the photos were taking and kept asking us to leave with him.
On a number of occaisions he turned to me and said 'I hope your wedding won't be like this!'.
He moaned about having to wear a suit and didn't prepare in advance so ended ip wearing s mid-matched suit that didn't fit.
At the reception hd had an argument with everyone at the table who tried to make small talk to him and was very rude. (we happen to know that this is just how he is, but to complete strangers, it gets a bit embarrassing).
He also spent most of the night sitting as far away from the celebrations as possible, hidden by some trees, on his phone.
When the first dance was called, we came to get him and he told us that he wasn't bothered and stayed where he was.
Now we are all home (having left early out of embarrassment), and I just want him out of my house, and for him not to be vest man at our wedding.
I really think he will ruin it.
He obviously doesn't want to do it.
What would you think?
Am i over reacting?!
I havent mentioned any of how I feel to the oh yet.
0
Comments
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My oh has asked his oldest school friend to be his best man. Is this the reason he asked him or are they still very close now?
Problem for me is I am gradually more and more thinking that he will be a complete night mare.
He has told Oh that he wil most likely be too busy to plan his stag do. How does OH feel about this?
And today, all three of us were at a friends wedding, where they both did a reading in the church.
His friend moaned about this constantly and said he didn't believe and therefore refused to take part in any other part of the ceremony. No singing or anything what so ever. Is yours a church service too? I would be seriously reconsidering if it was, you don't want the best man saying he doesn't believe in your wedding.
After the ceremony was do e he proceeded to moan about the church bells and how long the photos were taking and kept asking us to leave with him.
On a number of occaisions he turned to me and said 'I hope your wedding won't be like this!'. Sounds like a 'normal' wedding to me, what is he expecting??
He moaned about having to wear a suit and didn't prepare in advance so ended ip wearing s mid-matched suit that didn't fit.
At the reception hd had an argument with everyone at the table who tried to make small talk to him and was very rude. (we happen to know that this is just how he is, but to complete strangers, it gets a bit embarrassing). Is he shy? maybe at your wedding he would know more people.
He also spent most of the night sitting as far away from the celebrations as possible, hidden by some trees, on his phone. Again if he's shy this could be why.
When the first dance was called, we came to get him and he told us that he wasn't bothered and stayed where he was.
Now we are all home (having left early out of embarrassment), and I just want him out of my house, and for him not to be vest man at our wedding.
I really think he will ruin it.
He obviously doesn't want to do it.
What would you think?
Am i over reacting?!
I havent mentioned any of how I feel to the oh yet.
I think a serious talk is needed with your OH, I would feel exactly the same as you, although I think you handled it better than I would have as I would have spoken to him and probs made it worse!
Maybe your OH could ask him what he expects to do as best man, how he will help him and contribute to your day. If it matches what you both want then maybe this wedding was just a one off (although I'd have my doubts...)Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....0 -
It doesn't really matter what we think, you need to sit down with your OH and discuss this person's behaviour last night.If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.0
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Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »It doesn't really matter what we think, you need to sit down with your OH and discuss this person's behaviour last night.
True, and it's your OHs decision.0 -
perhaps he didn't want to say no to your OH but has spent yesterday throwing the biggest hints possible that he would rather not be a best man.weight loss target 23lbs/49lb0
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No way would he be best man at our wedding.you need to sit down with your OH and have a serious chat with him0
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yes it does sound like he's either being insensitive or just doesn't want to be a best man and is dropping massive hints!
I'd talk with OH, but personally I wouldn't want someone acting like that on my big day.0 -
If its the best man, I would talk to your OH and see how he feels. It is his best man and he may be able to speak to himFirst baby due 3/3/14 - Team Yellow! Our little girl born 25/2/14
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I think its up to your partner to be honest. If he wants him as his best man knowing what he is like (and Ill be honest and say he sounds a bit immature) then its entirely up to him. x0
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I think picking the wedding attendants is a joint decision, like every other wedding planning decision. The attendants should support the couple. Discuss your concerns with your OH. Maybe he could have a chat with the best man and explain that being in your wedding may involve wearing a suit, being in photos and...talking to people! This gives the best man a chance to back out or buck up his ideas. You don't want him whining on the day!0
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Last year I went to my friends wedding.
The best man was drunk all day. He messed up planning the stag do (forgot to plan the coach home). He messed up his speech - nervous and rambling, had to be removed from microphone by brides father.
Everyone was rolling their eyes and saying to my friend 'are you upset about BM'. He kept repeating to everyone in a loud voice that BM had done the best speech he could have done and that there was no-one else he wanted by his side on his wedding day.
Him and BM had been best friends since childhood and although he wasn't great at weddings had got him through some really tough times before he met bride. Later on I found them sat by the lake side by side sharing a cigar, BM too drunk to talk.
It was the one thing all day that made me cry. I have no way of knowing if this is the situation with your oh and his BM but really I feel strongly that its his decision and he may regret picking another guy if BM is his 'real' choice.0
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