What I've Learned Since Getting Married

katerinasol

I was thinking about the wedding the other day and realised how much my perception of it has changed since it actually happened. This is what I've learned:

• Little things WILL go wrong – I forgot to throw my bouquet, or to put on my garter. The DJ didn’t invite everyone else to join us on the dancefloor. My parents left the champagne in the fridge and had to race back after the ceremony to retrieve it from the freezer. Where it managed to turn into a block of ice.
• None of the little things that go wrong will matter whatsoever – you’ll still have a great time
• A good photographer is worth his weight in gold, and by ‘good’ I don’t mean ‘expensive’ – I mean one that can make you feel at ease and get on with everyone
• No matter how good the photographer is, s/he WILL be getting on your nerves by the end of the evening
• You probably won’t consummate your marriage on the wedding night; you’ll be too tired/drunk/emotional. And that’s ok.
• Family tend to get funny around wedding planning; they either become overbearing or appear not to care. Ignore them and carry on as you were; they’ll be back to normal on the day. And you’ll feel a huge amount of love towards them still.
• If you’re the bride and are planning to wear lipstick on the day, make sure it has superstaying powers, as you will never kiss as many people in one day as you will on this day
• Learn how to say no to drinks; people WILL buy you loads
• You probably won’t see your other half for most of the night.
• Your shoes will be a proverbial pain in the donkey by the end of the night.
• You will end up taking your shoes off halfway through the night.
• Little boys with tons of energy should be evaded at all costs. They spill things and fail to stop in time.
• Nobody else is as interested in your wedding/honeymoon photos as you are. Going on about the wedding BEFORE the event is acceptable and even expected. Afterwards it becomes tedious.
• It’s good to have a project to come back to from the honeymoon, but remember to enjoy being married because after all, a marriage is for life, not just for the wedding day

What do all the other past bride-to-be's think? What have you realised about the wedding since getting married?

MrsDrink

Love this thread - thank you for starting it! I can't wait to be an old married couple

sammy_wheeler

katerinasol wrote: »

I was thinking about the wedding the other day and realised how much my perception of it has changed since it actually happened. This is what I've learned:

• Little things WILL go wrong – I forgot to throw my bouquet, or to put on my garter. The DJ didn’t invite everyone else to join us on the dancefloor. My parents left the champagne in the fridge and had to race back after the ceremony to retrieve it from the freezer. Where it managed to turn into a block of ice.
• None of the little things that go wrong will matter whatsoever – you’ll still have a great time
• A good photographer is worth his weight in gold, and by ‘good’ I don’t mean ‘expensive’ – I mean one that can make you feel at ease and get on with everyone very very true!
• No matter how good the photographer is, s/he WILL be getting on your nerves by the end of the evening mine didn't- she was amazing
• You probably won’t consummate your marriage on the wedding night; you’ll be too tired/drunk/emotional. And that’s ok. yep very true!
• Family tend to get funny around wedding planning; they either become overbearing or appear not to care. Ignore them and carry on as you were; they’ll be back to normal on the day. And you’ll feel a huge amount of love towards them still.
• If you’re the bride and are planning to wear lipstick on the day, make sure it has superstaying powers, as you will never kiss as many people in one day as you will on this day i only kissed my husband although i hugged a lot of ppl!
• Learn how to say no to drinks; people WILL buy you loads. I wish! i only got brought a few drinks!
• You probably won’t see your other half for most of the night. we had the patio door open all night- and he was on the patio while i was on the dance floor
• Your shoes will be a proverbial pain in the donkey by the end of the night. very true!
• You will end up taking your shoes off halfway through the night. i wish i had i ended up with 2 blisters because i was dancing for 5 hours non stop!
• Little boys with tons of energy should be evaded at all costs. They spill things and fail to stop in time.
• Nobody else is as interested in your wedding/honeymoon photos as you are. Going on about the wedding BEFORE the event is acceptable and even expected. Afterwards it becomes tedious. oh well- i still go on about it now and its been nearly 6 weeks- stuff them hahaha!
• It’s good to have a project to come back to from the honeymoon, but remember to enjoy being married because after all, a marriage is for life, not just for the wedding day

What do all the other past bride-to-be's think? What have you realised about the wedding since getting married?

haha love this- although i found some things different to yours (my comments in red)
my thing- and i have mentioned it before is-
as far as i am concerned the night should stop after you go to bed- i wish i had known this and enforced this before the wedding!

you will 100% want to do the wedding day again

having something to do after the day is a massive thing- you will go on a big come down- i did and i couldnt stop crying for 2 days- luckly the week after the wedding we had out 2 week honeymoon and that snapped me out of it

you can't control the weather-- but i would have been so upset if the weather was horrid-- luckily it wasn't as i dont know how i would have coped!

it doesnt take that long to get in and out of dress!- 25 mins in and 5 mins out!

the little touches do matter!- i had so many comments on the little things such as the tissues, guest book, chair covers, flip flops, confetti petals, bit on order of the day getting guests to say hello to photographer and videographer-- everyone noticed and i am so glad!

i didnt notice the music at all when signing register!

the first dance is nothing to worry about! just move around a bit! no need for dance lessons or anything fancy!

only invite who you want to- this was so important for us- there was no way i was going to look back on my photos and not no who was there!

make sure ppl know they are not allowed to wear the same flowers as u!--- this happened to me! i kicked off! lol

no matter what you think- u will not eat that much!- i love my food- but i just did not feel like eating much in the buffett- and that is not like me! alhtough i had a big breakfast and lunch so that was ok

i did not get drunk- even after drinking quiet a bit. hubby did- but that was fine!

RainbowDrops

Great thread! I'm a lurking married girl now, but it's nice to think we can share some wisdom.

katerinasol wrote: »

It’s good to have a project to come back to from the honeymoon, but remember to enjoy being married because after all, a marriage is for life, not just for the wedding day

I second this point. We actually had 2 weeks between the wedding & the honeymoon, with a friends wedding inbetween. Then we had a festival the weekend after coming home from the honeymoon, and after that we've had thank yous & planning permission for home improvements to keep us busy.
So we've totally avoided the post-wedding comedown.

A few pointers from me:

Don't micromanage everything - you just wont have a chance on the day to make sure everything is right. Delagat out jobs - give several people a rundown of what needs to be done.

RE - uncomfy shoes. I went for wedges and was so pleased - I kept them on all night, and besides, they were hidden by the dress most of the time (except when people asked to see them - they were bright!). Also, the adrenaline of the day made me not notice leg tiredness.

Give yourself lots of mini breaks on the day to get away from eveyone & give yourself a chance to take in the days events so it isn't a blur.

If your bridal suite is on site, use your private bathroom rather than getting hassled in the normal toilets.

Drink LOTS of water.

Speak up when saying your vows - louder than you normally would speak to someone face to face - so people can hear you.
Also, try standing face to face with your OH side on to the guests, rather than with your back to the guests during the ceremony - we did this & felt that we were including the guests a bit more.

sammy_wheeler

yeah we also stood face to face- and side on the guests

sammy_wheeler

i would also say when walking down the aisle look at all the guests and take it all in- i did this and it was great to see everyone reacting

bobble_hat

Great Thread. My pearl of Wedding wisdom for what's its worth. It's your day do it your way. I set this expectation with everyone before we even began planning. We had a chilled out, gorgeous budget wedding with no upsets and lots of fun. I did have to reign the MIL in a few times during the arranging, and she did finally understand what we were trying to do.

clearing_out_my_pockets

• Little things WILL go wrong – I forgot to throw my bouquet, I didn't do this, but didn't plan to or to put on my garter. My bridesmaids forgot to buy one - each assumed the other was doing it The DJ didn’t invite everyone else to join us on the dancefloor. Our DJ did do this, but as we were doing a choreograped dance, it didn't work out too well! My parents left the champagne in the fridge and had to race back after the ceremony to retrieve it from the freezer. Where it managed to turn into a block of ice. My parents forgot to bring the camcorder to capture the aforementioned choreographed first dance
• None of the little things that go wrong will matter whatsoever – you’ll still have a great time No one noticed that anything did go wrong!
• A good photographer is worth his weight in gold, and by ‘good’ I don’t mean ‘expensive’ – I mean one that can make you feel at ease and get on with everyone
• No matter how good the photographer is, s/he WILL be getting on your nerves by the end of the evening didn't have a problem with this
• You probably won’t consummate your marriage on the wedding night; you’ll be too tired/drunk/emotional. And that’s ok. didn't have a problem with this
• Family tend to get funny around wedding planning; they either become overbearing or appear not to care. Ignore them and carry on as you were; they’ll be back to normal on the day. And you’ll feel a huge amount of love towards them still.
• If you’re the bride and are planning to wear lipstick on the day, make sure it has superstaying powers, as you will never kiss as many people in one day as you will on this day
• Learn how to say no to drinks; people WILL buy you loads no one offered me a drink, but that may be because we had money behind the bar.
• You probably won’t see your other half for most of the night. I made sure I grabbed DH for at least five minutes each hour. We just stood outside having a chat. Otherwise I was on the dancefloor, he was at the bar.
• Your shoes will be a proverbial pain in the donkey by the end of the night.
• You will end up taking your shoes off halfway through the night. I took mine off (and put them back on) several times during the evening. I have many photos of me sitting on the floor!
• Little boys with tons of energy should be evaded at all costs. They spill things and fail to stop in time. I had more of a problem with little girls, TBH. Although all of the children were calling me "Princess". One of my cousin's children trod on the train of my dress and ripped it. Fortunately I'd got changed into an evening dress (I'll mention this later on)
• Nobody else is as interested in your wedding/honeymoon photos as you are. Going on about the wedding BEFORE the event is acceptable and even expected. Afterwards it becomes tedious. I've found this to be an issue for the honeymoon, but people are still interested in the wedding photos three months on
• It’s good to have a project to come back to from the honeymoon, but remember to enjoy being married because after all, a marriage is for life, not just for the wedding day to be completely honest with you, I've not had a problem with not having a project.
• The best decision I made was to have a different evening dress from Monsoon. I know this is not very :money: and it's not everyone's cup of tea but it suited me because I was unable to go to the toilet unassisted. I had to go in the disabled toilet with my mum to sort out my dress. This would have been fine but (TMI alert) I unfortunately got struck by AF on our wedding day. Not very easy sorting that out in a big dress!
• If you have a guest book, make sure one of your attendants gets people to sign it.
• Make sure one of your witnesses has a handkerchief to hand when you're signing the register.
• Focus on your H2B as you walk down the aisle - I looked at my guests and my gran was sobbing (she always cries at weddings) and it set me off...

sammy_wheeler

oh and on the toilet issue-

going on the toilet the other way round- works really well!

sammy_wheeler

and i stuck a tissue down my dress (in between my boobs!) and i wiped it out during the cermoney- ppl laughed at this after and said i came well prepared haha

katerinasol

sammy_wheeler wrote: »

oh and on the toilet issue-

going on the toilet the other way round- works really well!

I did that too! Was so much more comfortable! Had to get a bridesmaid in with me to help me though!