how to manage treats etc

bem2012

Hi everyone, I've not posted here for a long time, mainly coz things were going so well. However in the last 6-8 weeks, all our hard work has become undone. One car needed replacing, the other a fair bit of work needed doing. Now my OH seems to have got into the habit of spending money again, instead of trying to save it, and I'm feeling really down about it.

For example, last week we must have collectively spent about £30 on lottery and scratchcards - now I know really we shouldn't spend anything on it, but I've been putting on my granny's numbers ever since she passed away 7 years ago, and I'm not going to stop now. OH plays a couple of lines when I do as well..normally we end up spending a tenner a week between us. Except last week, twice he went to the shop and bought a tenners worth of scratchcards in one go...just coz he happened to have a tenner in his wallet. (oh yeah, our total winnings last week? A big at ZERO!). AGHHHH! How can I get through to him???

It's not just the lottery, yesterday he had a day off, I was working. Came in from work ready to make pizza (had bought bases at the weekend), and he'd been to the shop and bought two pizzas from the deli counter. Luckily the bases can be frozen, so they didn't go to waste, but there was just no need to buy them. Again, he just bought them coz he was in the shop and just fancied pizza for his tea...

Apart from never letting him enter a shop again(!) how can I make him see we are never going to get anywhere if we continue the reckless spending? His attitude seems to be that coz we had a setback with the cars, he might as well enjoy himself now as we're never going to be debt free...but we will be if we manage our money better!!

Sorry for the ranting, just need to get it off my chest!

Tixy

How about doing a snowball calculator to see how soon you would be debt free if you stick to your budget, and how much interest you will pay. And then do another snowball if you reduce your debt repayments by maybe £100 a month (equivalent to the £20 scratchcards each week and things like the pizza). And then see how much longer you'll be in debt and also how much more interest you will end up paying.

Then show these figures to OH and ask him if its worth being in debt an extra x number of years just for the 3minutes of entertainment he got from the scratchcards or for the laziness of not cooking from scratch. Also remind him HM pizzas are much nicer!!.

Maybe when you've tried that shock tactic you could agree for a small extra treat occasionally or a bit of 'free' money for him to play with, but only if he stops with the impulse spends.

Failing that maybe do try a shop ban!!

If you haven't discovered snowballs yet you can find them here http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx or here http://www.makesenseofcards.com/snowcalc.html

bem2012

thanks, we have looked at snowball figures before.

He'll quite happily agree to not spending any money, but as soon as he actually has some then it just disappears! He no longer comes with me to do the weekly shop, as I can write a list and a budget and stick to it, when he comes with me then it all goes out the window as he sees things on special offer, and buys them too! We had a big falling out a few months ago as he won £40 on the lottery, and spent it on fags, magazines and more scratchcards! £40 is diesel for about 10 days, or the weeks shopping for us - he just saw it as money he won, so money he can spend as he likes! grrr.

The worst thing is, when he's in a saving kinda mood, he is really good with money...before the big car expenses, coz he could see our savings growing (saving to pay of car loan in a lump sum, can't over pay) really quickly he was getting all excited. Now coz they are literally back down to about £300, he's depressed and thinks he might as well not bother. :mad::mad:

Tixy

Hide his wallet and tell him its lost or you put it in the washing machine by mistake??

Or more seriously - does he need to carry cash around with him? ah I see you mention fags so maybe he does (well if you count cigs as a 'need'). Could you try talking to him about it, explain that you are feeling really down that all the hardwork you have both put in is being lost by his impulse spends?

Maybe now he has had a blow out month he'll calm down and be back on side again?

Good luck.