I am in deep trouble

wheretoturn

Emmzi wrote: »

wheretoturn,

this might sound counterintuitive cos it costs, but please consider it.

Have you thought about a good outplacement counsellor? You need access to the hidden job market for senior levels. And help deciding what you WANT (not feel you HAVE) to do.

Thank you for your reply. Where might I find an outplacement counsellor?

Emmzi wrote: »

FWIW financially I'd get shot of both houses. Mortgage burdens caninstill panic and bad decision making. People who rent find it easier to work anywhere in the country, or abroad.

I had thought of that too but as there is only equity of around £10k tops in the house, I am looking at renting it out to at least cover the mortgage.

I also thought about personal bankruptcy and asked the question on a separate part of the forum on the chances of me keeping my home should I go down that route.

The problem is, I will shortly have no income (again) and huge debts amounting to about 30k of CC's and 20k of other loans etc. I really cannot see anyway out of this at the moment

fabianne

Hi-just read all your thread-if your current contract ends in May,that puts you in a strong position to job hunt now as you have a little time before your salary ends?

saffronflowers

I have just read through all your thread - and I have one huge huge concern - re maintainace, I have not seen how many children you have but assume it is more than one, but why do you think that you can just stop paying it? The costs are the same to your ex wife, why should she take the slack up for your money mismanagement?

This is exactly what happened to me and my ex husband pays £110 for a 12 and 9 year old, but I am the one that still has to pay for everything yes everything else. It started out as £250 but due to a failed business venture and unemployemnt sunk to the current figure one the promise it would rise - has it no.

Sorry but it is your responsability not a way to create extra income to pay off your debts.

SFx

wheretoturn

fabianne wrote: »

Hi-just read all your thread-if your current contract ends in May,that puts you in a strong position to job hunt now as you have a little time before your salary ends?

I have been searching every night on the main web sites and have applied for many positions. Sadly, I am yet to secure any.

wheretoturn

saffronflowers wrote: »

I have just read through all your thread - and I have one huge huge concern - re maintainace, I have not seen how many children you have but assume it is more than one, but why do you think that you can just stop paying it? The costs are the same to your ex wife, why should she take the slack up for your money mismanagement?

This is exactly what happened to me and my ex husband pays £110 for a 12 and 9 year old, but I am the one that still has to pay for everything yes everything else. It started out as £250 but due to a failed business venture and unemployemnt sunk to the current figure one the promise it would rise - has it no.

Sorry but it is your responsability not a way to create extra income to pay off your debts.

SFx

I am sorry, but you must have completely misread my posts. I have not missed one payment to my ex wife since we split apart 10 years ago. During that time I have paid £600 per month for my 2 sons. I have recently cut that back to £300 for my youngest as my eldest son is now 19 and in full time employment.

I also paid (and continue to pay) towards school trips, extra curriculum activities and other "one off" bills that occurred. That was on top of paying for the petrol to travel over 500 miles every weekend (yes, every weekend) to ensure I saw them and they me.

I take my responsibility as a parent very seriously indeed and have never sought to punish my ex wife or my sons for my lack of financial management.

RAS

wheretoturn wrote: »

I have not missed one payment to my ex wife since we plit apart 10 years ago. During that time I have paid £600 per month for my 2 sons. I have recently cut that back to £300 for my youngest as my eldest son is now 19 and in full time employment.

I also paid (and continue to pay) towards school trips, extra curriculum activities and other "one off" bills that occurred. That was on top of paying for the petrol to travel over 500 miles every weekend (yes, every weekend) to ensure I saw them and they me.

I take my responsibility as a parent very seriously indeed and have never sought to punish my ex wife or my sons for my lack of financial management.

Hi

Coming from a "family" whose father earned £1000 some weeks and paid £50 per year (seriously) maintenance, I am gob-smacked. Some years ago, obviously. Oh and he had three bank accounts and earned £2534 one year for tax purposes.

This really is not about your lack of financial management, although it may actually be a pity that you were so generous to you mother, ex and sons when your personal situation depended on maintaining a high income. You would not have been able to predict things going pear shaped and that your insurances would not pay out.

You are a bit stuck at the moment, but post up the SOA and people here may be able to help you get over this hurdle.

It may be that you are hitting the age bias now? If you can get your financial situation to a point where you can look widen your job search, things could pick up.

Finally, have you looked at doing shorter term consultancy rather than permanent jobs. Insecure I know but the day rate is pretty good. Any old contacts you could tap up for more contacts?

Emmzi

wheretoturn wrote: »

Thank you for your reply. Where might I find an outplacement counsellor?

I've always found Penna quite useful. But a quick google or yell.com for your area should come up with a list.

tigtag02

saffronflowers wrote: »

I have just read through all your thread - and I have one huge huge concern - re maintainace, I have not seen how many children you have but assume it is more than one, but why do you think that you can just stop paying it? The costs are the same to your ex wife, why should she take the slack up for your money mismanagement?

This is exactly what happened to me and my ex husband pays £110 for a 12 and 9 year old, but I am the one that still has to pay for everything yes everything else. It started out as £250 but due to a failed business venture and unemployemnt sunk to the current figure one the promise it would rise - has it no.

Sorry but it is your responsability not a way to create extra income to pay off your debts.

SFx

Having just read through the whole of this thread I really had to comment on this!!

To be honest its not contructive at all really is it? Just a bit of a bashing on a situation that you have your *own take* on!!

Not anywhere has the OP suggested that he stops maintenance payments and to be honest, with so many absent parents out there I think his wife and sons are very lucky to have such a hands on and concerned pops!!

This thread is about what the OP can do to stop his curently managable debt spiraling out of control and not what you think of his maintenance skills!!

Good luck WTT - you deserve the best possible outcome

lynzpower

Have you registered with specialist agencies - surely with your experience its likely that they can find you with something?

Its not easy job hunting as I know :rolleyes: but anythings better than nothing

FWIW, i wuld also sell the other house, 10k or not, its the fact its a LIABILITY thats the problem.

If you sell up and in worst case scenario housing benefit will pay your rent, which you simply wont get if you are in a mortgaged property.

saffronflowers

wheretoturn wrote: »

I have cancelled Sky, sat insurance, the gym and spoke to my ex and have now reduced the maintenance to £300 and told her that if I don't get employment within 2 months it stops completely.

Tigtag - urm I think it was this statement that led me to my post not the whim to bash somebody

WTT - these are your words - and this was the second time you reduce payments.

SFx