I will be debt free in 2027!!!!

palomapicasso

Thanks nannyboo1 for your kind words. I do take my child to the park, we go swimming once in a while, go to the library, all the places that are free. My child does not go without because I have a very good close family network who buy him toys. He doesn't really miss out on anything if I am honest but it's the fact that I can't afford to buy the things for him. I have been trying to get a job but I'm either too experienced or too old and the hours are not right. I am not a materialistic person, far from it. Thank you again for your reply.

determined_new_ms

Hi Palomapicasso - really sending you lots of love right now, I do know how you feel. Reading your post nrought back so many memories for me. I was a lone parent for about 13 years with 2 children, I never had anything, more often had nothing and I know the soul crushing feelings of failure when I had to go yet again to my best friend's for dinner as I couldn't afford food, or when I couldn't afford any other shoes for my dd so bought her a pair of jelly shoes for £1.99 and throughout the summer if it was dry we went out. Sinking into debt but nothing that could be done to change it. It does get better, but it took me a long time.

I would say the biggest regret I have is that I was so worn down by it all and my mood was so low. Are you taking anti-depressants to address your mood? Also some gentle exercise daily will really help with lifting your mood, believe me I know that the effort to go for a walk/run when you are feeling low is tremedous but it really does help. Also do you use the netmum's forum? There will be a board on there for lone parents & it really helped me to be around people who knew what I was going through.

Next practical issues - you need to raise some extra cash so you have enough to live on. You're in your 2nd year doing hair - can you start doing kids hair? I know there will be plenty of single parents through the school who could do with a cheap mobile hairdresser. Can you take in a lodger or student & share a bedroom with your son for a while? How about selling things on ebay? Someone I know buys things at the charity shops and then sells on ebay to raise a bit of cash. Offering babysitting?

Right now I imagine that you're feeling so overwhelmed & like a failure - I know that is what I felt for years - so its so important to get strong emotionally so you can start to change things. If you want to make a friend with someone who understands & has been through what your going through then pm me x

Sylviabb

nice, thanks for sharing

makemedebtfreeplease

Im due to debt free in 2027 too....:eek:
The way I think about it is that if I hadnt done the dmp I probably would have NEVER been debt free so it might be 2027 but its still better then never, lol

Tebheag

Just want to wish you all the best and good luck you will get there in the end.
If you have already done 2 years of hair dressing you should be able to offer trims and simple cuts to family and friends depending on course so far covered you may be able to offer more. Is there no way of getting money from the father of your child to help you out. Remember 2027 is a long way away a lot can change in that time like your son starting school giving you free child care. I just just keep going you have worked wonders so far paying of £10k thats the bit you should focus on. If you are slowly paying of debts I would keep at it and not rush to sell your flat especially if you have to sell it for next to nothing !
Have you looked into getting an allotment as they are great for growing your own veg etc.

leftinamess

So sorry to hear your story. Stand strong and fight you will get through it and things will get better, dont give up!

Hovel_lady

palomapicasso wrote: »

Hovel Lady thank you for your reply.
I've been studying hairdressing and holistic therapies. My job prior to redundancy was an Office Manager so I had a very good salary and had a company car. I have not felt confident since I lost my job and get panicky quite a lot too. I worked for 25 years in an office environment. I have had my flat up for sale but so have 3 others in the same block and 2 have been on the market for over 1 year now. My parents are fantastic with me and I know I am very fortunate. I would like to know if I would be able to rent my flat or if that is not allowed by the dss. Would they see this as a second income? Do you know? It's my child I feel for at the moment because I get mad at myself for abusing money all of my life and now I have a child I have no money to buy him things or take him places. I do have a pension plan but have not put anything into it since my redundancy. I want to finish college (3yrs) but some days I don't even want to get up, although I do, I've got to push myself as it's not just about me anymore. I go through my budget on a weekly basis. I think I'm looking for a miracle. I couldn't possibly change any of my budget as it is down to the absolute bare minimum. Thank you once again Hovel Lady.

I don't know whether the dss would count it as oncome. I have tried to find out and it looks like they might do but do check this with someone like the CAB.
Not sure if I can add to the advice from the other posters above.
Do consider talking to one of the free debt advice charities to see if they can help.
xx

fakeplastictwee

So sorry to read your story. I can't offer much advice but just wanted to say the time you spend with your son makes him so much richer in other ways than many other kids, and you should be proud for that. Also, 10k of debt gone! That's amazing in the circumstances!
You mentioned that you feel panicky sometimes, have you mentioned this to your doctor? I used to and still occasionally do have panic attacks, your doctor can help with that through councelling and maybe anti-depressants if suitable. They should also be able to help you feel more balanced and mentally stronger.

Keep plodding x