Is anyone else finding this?

alamaya

Im the same. Problem is my husband isnt. So i spend every week telling him i dont want to go places and him wanting to spend all the excess we have.
Its like come on i want this debt gone. I want to buy my daughter things without feeling guilty .

FireWyrm

Pinksparkles26 wrote: »

Since i took my head out of the sand and started tackling my debt i have been doing quite well, however as i'm save save save i no longer want to spend even £1 if i don't have to as i don't want to see my bank balance affected. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl and there is never a middle ground. This means i keep turning down invites by friends to go for a drink or a night out and i hate that i'm doing it but keep thinking well then i can save an extra £10 etc. Is anyone else doing this as they are so desperate to get rid of this debt. I don't need to do this i have £500 a month spare and could save half if needed, but £250 is no way near as good as £500 would be. I hate how my mind works and know i will end up just sat at home miserable not doing anything as it costs money but paying off this debt means everything to me as i want to move out and move on with my life, not have this hanging over me forever.

Yes, me too. I have an all or nothing personality, but I recognise that DH doesn't so I have a way around it. Instead of obsessively keeping track of every tiny transaction, I budget £20 per month as 'pin' money which doesn't have to be accounted for. This pays for the odd 4 Pinter of milk, emergency coffee etc. If we run out of that money, then I start obsessing over the transactions! I also budget £20 per month for takeaway. We are allowed one takeaway per month and the change goes into the pin money jar. My cigarettes get 'lost' in my petrol bill so I don't have to look at it and everything else is budgeted.

los72

I'm with everyone here too, don't like spending, even though I know I have a little extra each week to spend on myself, I just end up saving it. I'm self-employed, so if I have a really good week, I tend to put more away that week to cover the priority debts, mortgage, council tax etc to cover when I have a crap week.

The extra should probably go towards my self managed DMP, but I got in such a mess with my mortgage, that I'm scared wittless that I'm gonna get in the same position again, hence putting more away when I have a good week.

backinbusiness

Same here.

It took me about 5 months after my debt-free day to loosen up a little and splash some cash.

I would never go back to my free and easy days of willy-nilly spending, which is a good thing, but came to realise that there was no point saving it for savings sake (not all of it anyway).

So regular, reasonable treats for our family now.

Good luck OP.

x_Kaz_x

I too have an "all or nothing" personality (aka perfectionism) and OH and I are (finally) at a point now where we have between £300 and £600 left after bills, food, minimum payments etc.

I have found that if I put a certain amount in my budget for carefree spending (for us it's around £100 a month) that I can still be in my "all" mode because it's in the budget and once that £100 is gone, then it's gone. But it allows us to treat ourselves without feeling guilty.

It did take a couple of months of having that amount left over after a few years of living almost exactly to our means to feel comfortable spending anything on ourselves and not just chucking everything extra towards debts.

ermintrude1

This thread reminds me of a difficult time in my life over two decades ago.

I was single with my first mortgage but not happy in the house due to problem neighbours. My bf of the time found a partially renovated property for sale at a bargain price with a lot going for it. Against my better judgement he persuaded me to buy it and said he would rent out the first house for me (as he was doing with his own)

To cut a long story short, I found myself paying for two properties. The new house got broken into, windows smashed and I had to move in to prevent it happening again, I had only a bed, garden chair and a cooker.

I made a list of all the outgoings I must pay to avoid getting into debt and keeping a roof over my head but included nothing else. The calculation left me with £3 a week to buy food. My weekly grocery shop was usually a bag of potatoes and packet of tea bags. I would cook all the potatoes in one/two goes and eat them cold through the week. This went on for six months until I managed to sell the first house.

The experience left me with a model figure and the resolve to never ever ever get into that situation again. However, it means I don’t enjoy shopping, rarely buy clothes or anything that I can’t justify as a necessary expenditure as opposed to a ‘want’ On the plus side, I’ve been able to enjoy some fabulous holidays over the years because I’ve had the savings available to pick up some brilliant offers.

I think debt is like dieting, to be successful requires a permanent change in thinking and lifestyle.

Skint_Not_Mint

Hey all, first post - Eeek..

I am in a similar situation - I've only recently got my debts to a place where they aren't building up more each month and now I am sticking to a budget to within an inch of my life!!

My OH is away just now so I am saving for a holiday with him when he gets back in November. which basically means I am spending as little as possible in order that I can have some spends for the holiday. I struggle because I live with my party loving friend, who would happily go out in our dire little town every weekend and I find it hard to keep saying no, or making excuses. Like you tho, I'd rather save the £20 for my hols than a rubbish night out in town (and yes, I can easily have a whole night out on less than £20!!)

I am trying to save £100 pm for the holiday, and to stick to that, I now have about a tenner left for food/excesses this month!! Not much, but I am getting good at making my food budget go miles! And unless I dip into my savings, I can't afford to go out. Simple as that!!

Ooh, that was quite a preachy first post...!!

gargrave50

Hey pinksparkles,

Just a thought.......have you considered the survey sites? Doing a few surveys online each night soon mounts up. Some pay by cash, others pay in high street vouchers.

You could use this money for treats such as a lunch out with friends etc. With the ones who pay in vouchers you can either sell them on ebay (they go for almost the full value!), or save them to buy birthday and christmas gifts and save the cash on these . Just a thought?! You could be having virtually "free" treats.

Also if you shop at Tesco, I use my clubcard vouchers to use against their rewards booklet for treats like Pizza Express vouchers and cinema tickets. There are ways to optimise the amount you save each month AND have a little fun