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The Cost of Funerals

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  • Justamum
    Justamum Posts: 4,727 Forumite
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    Muppet81 wrote: »
    We were looking at a start price of £2000 ish but it quickly beagn to rise towards £3000 and there were still the costs to add such as the Crem or burial, the vicar etc.

    Strewth!

    When I go I want it to be as cheap as possible - a cardboard box and cremation. No need for a ceremony. I bet that will still have the kerching of the till for the undertakers though :(
  • Barneysmom
    Barneysmom Posts: 10,124 Ambassador
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    I'm sorry for your loss Op, your information will be a help to many people I'm sure.

    My parents have been paying into their funeral plan for I reckon 25 years, they must have paid well over the odds by now.
    It makes practical sense for those left behind to have as low a cost funeral as possibel I think?
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  • valk_scot
    valk_scot Posts: 5,290 Forumite
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    notatvstar wrote: »
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. This was an excellent post. Unfortunately my boyf's little bro passed away in June and so I wish I had known this sooner. Boyf's Mum has got the funeral bill and she can't pay it. She's refusing any offers of help from me or my Mum :(

    I know that this won't help your MIL but many of the old school undertakers, usually the family firms, don't charge for children's funerals. We found this out when we went to our local undertakers to help arrange a funeral for a 7 year old relative. We went through the fairly straightforwards arrangements and then asked for the final total...and it was gently pointed out to us that in such a sad situation it was a matter of professional courtesy not to make a charge. Later I noticed it said this at the bottom of the price guide displayed discretely in the window so it wan't just for us. We still had to pay the cost of the minister, the funeral tea, crematorium costs and flowers but everything that the undertaker provided cost absolutely nothing. It was a very memorably kind deed at a bad time and I remember it very clearly.
    Val.
  • notatvstar
    notatvstar Posts: 181 Forumite
    Many thanks for everybody being so kind. I'm afraid I didn't really express myself appropriately. The Boyf's bro was only 2 years younger than him, but OH always called him his 'little brother'...

    Yes - (F)MIL has just applied for a grant, but she's taken about 2 months to fill out the form. We're not confident that she's filled out the form correctly so we're not sure if the money is going to come through. She wanted to do it - so we had to let her. He was her son afterall.

    I may have alluded to in other posts, but the OH is debt ridden so he can't help her either. He, like his Mother, has refused financial help from me and my Mum. I think the grand total is about £3000. We managed to keep costs down as me and my Mum cooked all the food for the funeral (It was a massive turn-out - the family are from a highland village and the whole village came and I bought and arranged all the flowers.

    :(
  • GreyQueen
    GreyQueen Posts: 13,008 Forumite
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    Such a sad subject but one that the majority of us will have to engage with in the fullness of time, when were are distressed and least able to cope.

    I would suggest that a person in this situation call their local authority's bereavement service for advice. There are statutory duties on local authorities in this delicate matter, if there are no next-of-kin, or there is no one able to help.

    There is help with funeral costs available from the DWP for those on benefits.

    Every lending library should have a copy of a highly-recommended book called "What to do when someone dies" and you can also buy it, of course.

    Please don't forget that you can go to your CAB for assistance about this and many many other matters.

    Sincere condolences to those posters who have been bereaved.
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  • I think it is a disgrace the way that funerals are charged...the funeral parlours and crematoriums are all in it together.

    My parent's neighbour's husband died, and his express wishes were that his funeral was arranged as cheaply as possible, and then that his widow went on holiday with the spare money. So she got a cardboard coffin (not really cardboard, but this is how they refer to them), no flowers, no cars etc but it turned out that the nearest crematorium refused to let anything other than an undertaker's black limousine pull up to it. She had planned to take him in his work van, which was something he always said that he wanted. This is a crematorium which is deep in the woods, no one would see other than the mourners, and they all knew his wishes...but she would have had to pay hundreds for the cars at the crematorium's insistence.

    Eventually she found another crematorium with no such restrictions, and it all went ahead as planned, with many wry smiles when his old van pulled up.

    I do think that undertakers play on this thing about 'dignity' and do everything they can to equate it with 'expense'. Personally I would far rather that my loved ones benefitted from whatever money I left, rather than an undertakers.
  • charlies-aunt
    charlies-aunt Posts: 1,605 Forumite
    edited 12 August 2011 at 3:46PM
    notatvstar wrote: »
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. This was an excellent post. Unfortunately my boyf's little bro passed away in June and so I wish I had known this sooner. Boyf's Mum has got the funeral bill and she can't pay it. She's refusing any offers of help from me or my Mum :(

    I'm sorry for your loss, its so sad - I would like to comment that my DH works for a FD. At 'his' firm, all children [17 and under] funerals are done free of charge - the family pay for the fees charged by the crem or church - FD provide collection & preparation of the body, the coffin and cars.

    In this area, if the surviving family are unable to pay, either the council or hospital pay for a basic funeral - although any assets left by the deceased are claimed and sold by council/hospital authorities to offset the cost - which sadly includes any personal jewellery.

    Everyone is treated with dignity and respect - whether the funeral is 'basic', free or expensive. We live in high unemployment area and 'his' firm of FD keep the costs as low as they can but they are unable to absorb the rising costs of doctors certifying, church and crem fees.

    If possible - its good to get your affairs in order and do a prepayment plan as it saves a lot of stress and distress at the time.

    "Cardboard" coffins are not a cheap option - they are more expensive than a plain coffin.

    If they had wanted to use his work van here - it wouldn't have been a problem as it would have been in accordance with his last wishes. Sounds like the FD there was trying to be greedy
    :heartpuls The best things in life aren't things :heartpuls

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  • Muppet81
    Muppet81 Posts: 951 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Thank you to all who have responded to my original post and added some very interesting thought and observations..

    Charlies-aunt ..... I hope I have not given the impression that I felt the FDs involved showed less than the appropriate dignity and respect. They were really kind and helpful in so many ways and everyone commented on how lovely the whole event was (for a funeral). It was just the fact that they did not offer the option of a Municipal funeral until they had to.

    The last thing I want to do is run down those who do a job not many of us would want to and do it very well. I just wanted to let anyone reading the post know that there are options and to investigate them all, ideally before you are caught up in the grief of losing a loved one.

    Hope all of you who replied are now picking up the pieces and moving forward to happier times.
    Thank you for this site :jNow OH and I are both retired, MSE is a Godsend
  • Interesting. The local council says that social services may help if nobody else is interested but they will claim against the estate, as long as nobody tries to make any arrangements before contacting them. The local funeral directors say mourners are not permitted at their cheap/basics/simple funerals and nobody may view the body at all. And the disbursements are extra. Minimum is £800 plus all doctor, crem, church, priest, fees, etc.
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  • Blairweech
    Blairweech Posts: 1,379 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Another thing to be aware is the cost of an obituary in the local paper - ours charges 55p a word (and the FDs get a free advert out of it!). Have not got any moneysaving ideas to get around that though...

    OP, and all other posters in this thread who have been bereaved - sincere condolences for your loss x
    We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment
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