Sexual Harrassement Allegation

SarEl

eamon wrote: »

If there was substance to the harassment allegation then the employer should have had to courage to investigate at the beginning not do some fudge that is designed to pretend that something is being done.

Yes, I agree entirely. In the employers place if a complaint of this nature was serious enough - even if the employee in question did not want to be identified or have their complaint used for a disciplinary - the last thing I would do would be to tell the employee complained about. I would monitor them yes, to see whether there was cause for concern - but I certainly wouldn't have told them about it!

t0rt0ise

If you think about it they've said to him you've been a naughty boy, we're not going to tell you what you've done, or when, or how not to do it again but we're going to watch you. It's an intolerable situation but he has to either tolerate it or look for another job. He seems loathe to do either but just wants to moan a lot.

jimmo

You have to have been there to understand what the OP is going through.
When my boss first told me that a female colleague had made a complaint of sexual harassment against me he, effectively wanted to get the 2 of us to kiss and make up and sweep the whole thing under the carpet. Rightly, I think, I told my boss to do it by the book because, if he didn't, he was in danger of joining me in the long walk to the Jobcentre.
In our job, I and my former colleague travelled the country, more often separately, but frequently sharing a car and staying in the same hotels. I had often picked her up from her home and dropped her off at her home after a trip away and have enjoyed a few cups of coffee there.
Unlike the OP I knew exactly who made the complaint against me and I was not prepared to continue working with her and one of us had to go.
As the alleged victim, she stayed and I had to move on and I resent that to this day.
I made a personal decision to bring this out into the open and told my new colleagues that the reason I was joining them was because I had been accused of sexual harassment.
I still believe that the original complaint against me was malicious but I have never come to terms with the consequences. I can't prove my innocence and whist my accuser cannot prove my guilt there is a stain against my name and I have to live with the concept that if I talk to anyone they may, or may not know that I am suspected of being some sort of pervert
Having retired 5 years ago this really should be something in my past but it really still hurts.
I have no answers to the OP's problem, save to say that if you believe you are innocent then cling on to that belief,.

erdd2

Until it happens, no one really knows how they will react to such an allegation. What is deemed sexual harassment to one person may not be considered so to another. That said, it is unfair imo to be placed in a situation where you have no opportunity to clear your name. If the allegations were to be true, why would one want to have the issue dealt with in the fashion OP describes. I respect it is difficult to deal with such issues, however there has to be some level playing field to reduce a free for all to make such allegations.

betrayed_2

Thanks Jimmo,
Finally someone who can understand my situation. Although I respect everyone's opinion but many opinions are easier said than done.

jimmo wrote: »

You have to have been there to understand what the OP is going through.


I knew exactly who made the complaint against me and I was not prepared to continue working with her and one of us had to go.

As the alleged victim, she stayed and I had to move on and I resent that to this day.

I still believe that the original complaint against me was malicious but I have never come to terms with the consequences. I can't prove my innocence and whist my accuser cannot prove my guilt there is a stain against my name and I have to live with the concept that if I talk to anyone they may, or may not know that I am suspected of being some sort of pervert
Having retired 5 years ago this really should be something in my past but it really still hurts.
I have no answers to the OP's problem, save to say that if you believe you are innocent then cling on to that belief,.

Oldernotwiser

jimmo wrote: »

When my boss first told me that a female colleague had made a complaint of sexual harassment against me he, effectively wanted to get the 2 of us to kiss and make up .

Rather an unfortunate turn of phrase in the circumstances.

Oldernotwiser

jimmo wrote: »

I have no answers to the OP's problem, save to say that if you believe you are innocent then cling on to that belief,.

That point of view doesn't really encourage someone to examine and change their behaviour though, does it?

DVardysShadow

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That point of view doesn't really encourage someone to examine and change their behaviour though, does it?

Well, of course not. Jimmo believes that his complainant was motivated by malice - and no reasonable amount of behaviour change will avert a future malicious complaint.

In the OP's case, it seems he has done some self examination. The only thing he could come up with was that the complaint arose from some girl he caught nicking pencils iirc, whom he did not march off to an immediate disciplinary - probably quite rightly. So if the employer won't give any clues, there is not a lot he can do is there?