Nearing a breakdown

lachance78

Hi,
I know from experience long posts on forums can be instantly off-putting so I will try to be concise but I feel it best I explain my whole situation so as not to waste people's time. This is pretty much a desperate snatch for me, posting here; I've spoken to the CAB, I've talked to loads of companies and counsellors on the phone and, for one reason or another, I've either felt they have been self-interested or they just don't seem to be listening to me. I'm posting here in the hope that anybody who knows about loans and the market might be able to give me some selfless advice, even if it is: 'file for bankruptcy'.
It is pretty irrelevant to how I got here but as things stand, in total I owe roughly aboout £27,000 in the world. This includes a variety of things, personal loans, family loans, credit cards, old student o/drafts that are frozen. At present I am up to date with payments on all of them, no defaults etc, but it has come at a price. I have taken on so much debt over the past two years that I can no longer cope. Each month, I am left almost £500 short of making ends meet. To combat this, I've borrowed bits here and there, from friends or payday loan companies, that have just added to the snowball effect. I am 28 and cannot remember a day in my life when i haven't worried sick about money, and that destroys me. It has gotten to the point where i don't know what I'm going to do this month, or any month after that, because I have a choice: miss payments and go down that road, or have nothing to live on. The dilemma may seem extreme, but £500 is missing every month, it's not just a case of buying economy brands for a change.
towards the end of last year I seriously felt it was making me ill, I just couldn't stand it anymore, so I really stood back to see what i could feasibly do. I spoke to a wealth of advisors about credit repayment schemes and IVA's. The only problem is that because one of my debts is a huge one I ran up on my girlfriend's credit card (with her knowledge but not approval), and another is a personal loan in our names. There is no way she can go on an iva, it is out of the question, and without those debts included it rules it out of reality.
What I want to do is to borrow a huge lump sum to pay off everything I owe and have one monthly affordable repayment, even if it's over ten or fifteen years. If I could swap all of the debts I'm paying off monthly (that all amount to nearly £600) for one payment of about £150 - 200, then I could manage. But I don't think any lender would lend that sort of amount (£25-28K) to a tenant with a poorish credit history. It's so very easy to fill out one of the millions of alluring application forms on the net, it all sounds so clear, but then for literally weeks afterwards my phone won't stop ringing, and it will be company upon company pestering me, and I won't even know who they've spoken to. Does anybody on here know if it is likely or possible to borrow such a sum without security, and if so who?
I know the saying 'the last thing you need is more debt', but this isn't 'more' debt, it's a different debt, one I can handle. I really dont want to even consider bankruptcy (I know nobody does), not when it feels like there could be a solution if the circumstances were right. Like I say, I've tried for an IVA and although I've not been officially knocked back the complications surrounding my girlfriend make it relatively impossible. I just can't take any more, it's gotten to a point where I can't think of anything anymore, I can't sleep and when I do it wakes me up.

jonesMUFCforever

Welcome to the boards.
You've been very honest with your posting but IMO no one will lend you £28k to get you out of the woods.
Have you tried the Debt councelling service?
It may or may not make you feel better but the credit card debt in your girlfriends name is her debt no matter how it was obtained.Unless she reports you to the police for fraud she is stuck with it.Why is it not possible for her to go on an IVA with you?

I really think that you should consider bankruptcy - if an IVA is not possible.

Lastly you really need to make a statement of affairs - ie all your income against all of your expenditure.
Pay off priority debts first ie Rent, council tax etx before putting any towards cards or loans.

lachance78

As a non-homeowner that is what I figured, that nobody would touch me for that kind of amount, but it still makes me mad when you're forever bombarded with ads, links and sites that protest the contrary. I know it's about spreading their net wide but why bother when all you're likely to reel in is dead fish like me.
As you probably must know, an IVA is a massive thing, a real commitment, and it seriously screws up certain things for at least 6 years. Considering my girlfriend lent me this money in good faith (even I had good faith in myself back when i borrowed it), to turn around now and say 'Oh, could you also please now crush your credit status and all chances of a mortgage for me, too?' would amount to nothing other than mass distress.
I'm all for debt counselling, and like I say I've tried it, but no matter how I twist and turn it, I'm still looking at a significant shortfall.
I can't bring myself to even think about bankruptcy; I've been in this sh*t for so long now, managing, that I don't want to give in now.

jonesMUFCforever

Sorry mate but you are deluding yourself.
If you and your girlfriend are solid then where you live is immaterial.
I take it she does know the full extent of your debts?
I don't know where you get the impression that you are bombarded with unsecured loans of £28k - for a start they stop at £25k as there is no CCA protection for lender over this amount. Anything above this would be secured but as you do not own your property this is not an option.
You are not going to get a mortgage anyway with this level of debt.

Only the two of you can make that decision but at least when you have been declared bankrupt you will not have the stress of having to find money from A or B to pay C then to repay A from D etc etc. It will be over!
Yes you will screw up your credit history for a minumum of 6 years but it will take you 60 years at this rate for you to pay back what you owe now.
You cannot continue as you are.

Good luck in your decision making.