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Things that went wrong at the wedding - learn from our mistakes!
ZebrasMum
Posts: 33 Forumite
[FONT="]Hello All
I thought I would report back after getting so much help from the members here with the planning.
The bottom line is we did what we set out to do and we are now legally Mr & Mrs:beer: I am over the moon. The seven day weather forecast had been for rain and grey but the day was absolutely beautiful.
However
The actual wedding day was very chaotic, we were let down by a lot of people. On the other hand unexpected people shone through. Nowt strange as folks!
I will go through a list of some of the things that did not go right or that could have been different so that you can avoid the same thing happening (if possible)
1.vistaprint
I had ordered a whole bunch of things from vistaprint for the wedding to be sent to my house,(great deals!) unfortunately I made an error when typing in my postcode for the order. so even though the street address was correct, because the first letter of the postcode was wrong -apparently since everything at the royal mail is computerised - it got returned to sender and I did not get my items in time for the wedding. My mistake I know but still disappointing.
2. Make up[/FONT]
[FONT="]I had my make up done professionally and did have a trial. I think I should have just done it myself as I did not feel like myself. I was very heavily made up when I do not usually wear make up. It is not the make up lady's fault at all, its just that I thought I should look 'glamorous' when I should have looked myself and I felt self conscious on the day and the photos I have seen so far don't 'look like me' [/FONT]:(
[FONT="]3. Dance[/FONT]
[FONT="]We should have taken the time out to learn a first dance together, it would have been fun and relaxing. As we didn’t live together and were in different cities it was a bit difficult but I would advise you to do this instead of just the ‘hug and shuffle’ lol. It doesn’t have to be strictly come dancing, just a bit of fun for the two of you.[/FONT]
[FONT="]4. MC[/FONT]
[FONT="]Our MC missed his coach and arrived 3 hours late, in the interim the best man had been doing his best. When he eventually got to the reception apparently he had stage fright and would not say anything. He was a relation of my husband and normally very outgoing and talkative and had agreed to be the MC but if someone gets stage fright there is nothing you can do and I don’t hold it against him. One of my other uncles took over admirably but a lot of things were left out. We should have printed multiple detailed copies of the programme instead of just one for the MC. That way it would have been easier for someone else to take over.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]5. List of photos,[/FONT]
[FONT="]We should have made a list of photos that needed to be taken as some relations got left out.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
6. Communication is essential - spell it out even if you think it is obvious
My uncle has three children two girls aged 13 and 11 and a boy aged 2. A year ago I asked the girls to be bridesmaids, bought them the dresses etc. I couple of weeks ago I gave the little two year old a waistcoat 'to wear for the wedding' as I had a spare one from an ebay bundle I bought. I did not want the 2 year old in the wedding party as that is far too young. Well at the wedding who do I see in a little pageboy outfit (that does not match the others) . he seems to have assumed the baby was part of the wedding party! I suppose I should have explicitly said junior is not in the wedding (!!!)[/FONT]
[FONT="]Also the organist played the wrong song to go down the aisle. We had discussed it informally but I should have had it in writing. I just got the wedding march when I wanted cannon in D.
7. Don't rely on people – this is a whole thread on its own
[/FONT]
[FONT="]
8. Never meet your childhood heroes[/FONT]
[FONT="]The DJ was from our home country and we always used to listen to him on the radio. [/FONT]
· [FONT="]Three days before the wedding we gave him a playlist of about 20 songs people had requested, none of them at all unusual, living la vida loca, Michael Jackson, ABBA that sort of thing. I sent him the email at 4am because I was awake but he complained to my husband it woke him up – it’s not my fault he linked his email to his phone to notify him whenever he gets an email. I would never dream of texting someone at that hour but I never imagined an email would disturb anyone.[/FONT]
· [FONT="]He complained that he had had to take a whole day off to find the songs and not to ask for any more requests??? They were all very very common songs all from the top ten at some point.[/FONT]
· [FONT="]We had also sent him a mixed CD of songs for when people were having dinner, so all he really needed to come up with himself was the music for when people arrive at the venue and the disco. When we got to the venue after our photos there was no music!!! The guests had been waiting around in silence – apparently the DJ was waiting for the wedding party before he started playing music ???? [/FONT]
· [FONT="]We also gave him contact details of the venue manager so they could discuss his PA system and sound system etc. When he started playing the music it was only coming out of one speaker because he had not linked up with the venues speaker system and we could not hear him on the other side of the room[/FONT]
· [FONT="]In an email we asked if he could announce he was DJ xyz and play his little jingle because it would be so nice to hear our childhood dj and it would bring back memories for so many people, he refused and said it was only for radio (he had not been on air for over 10 years) and not public functions... He also did not announce his name so no one realised that this was the DJ from our home country.[/FONT]
· [FONT="]We did make sure he was fed and told him to ask the best man if he needed anything but he was very prickly and precious the whole time.[/FONT]
· [FONT="]He played our last dance as our first dance and vice versa.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]I think I will lurk on this forum a bit even though I am already married! Good luck to you all
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT]
I thought I would report back after getting so much help from the members here with the planning.
The bottom line is we did what we set out to do and we are now legally Mr & Mrs:beer: I am over the moon. The seven day weather forecast had been for rain and grey but the day was absolutely beautiful.
However
The actual wedding day was very chaotic, we were let down by a lot of people. On the other hand unexpected people shone through. Nowt strange as folks!
I will go through a list of some of the things that did not go right or that could have been different so that you can avoid the same thing happening (if possible)
1.vistaprint
I had ordered a whole bunch of things from vistaprint for the wedding to be sent to my house,(great deals!) unfortunately I made an error when typing in my postcode for the order. so even though the street address was correct, because the first letter of the postcode was wrong -apparently since everything at the royal mail is computerised - it got returned to sender and I did not get my items in time for the wedding. My mistake I know but still disappointing.
2. Make up[/FONT]
[FONT="]I had my make up done professionally and did have a trial. I think I should have just done it myself as I did not feel like myself. I was very heavily made up when I do not usually wear make up. It is not the make up lady's fault at all, its just that I thought I should look 'glamorous' when I should have looked myself and I felt self conscious on the day and the photos I have seen so far don't 'look like me' [/FONT]:(
[FONT="]3. Dance[/FONT]
[FONT="]We should have taken the time out to learn a first dance together, it would have been fun and relaxing. As we didn’t live together and were in different cities it was a bit difficult but I would advise you to do this instead of just the ‘hug and shuffle’ lol. It doesn’t have to be strictly come dancing, just a bit of fun for the two of you.[/FONT]
[FONT="]4. MC[/FONT]
[FONT="]Our MC missed his coach and arrived 3 hours late, in the interim the best man had been doing his best. When he eventually got to the reception apparently he had stage fright and would not say anything. He was a relation of my husband and normally very outgoing and talkative and had agreed to be the MC but if someone gets stage fright there is nothing you can do and I don’t hold it against him. One of my other uncles took over admirably but a lot of things were left out. We should have printed multiple detailed copies of the programme instead of just one for the MC. That way it would have been easier for someone else to take over.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]5. List of photos,[/FONT]
[FONT="]We should have made a list of photos that needed to be taken as some relations got left out.[/FONT]
[FONT="]
6. Communication is essential - spell it out even if you think it is obvious
My uncle has three children two girls aged 13 and 11 and a boy aged 2. A year ago I asked the girls to be bridesmaids, bought them the dresses etc. I couple of weeks ago I gave the little two year old a waistcoat 'to wear for the wedding' as I had a spare one from an ebay bundle I bought. I did not want the 2 year old in the wedding party as that is far too young. Well at the wedding who do I see in a little pageboy outfit (that does not match the others) . he seems to have assumed the baby was part of the wedding party! I suppose I should have explicitly said junior is not in the wedding (!!!)[/FONT]
[FONT="]Also the organist played the wrong song to go down the aisle. We had discussed it informally but I should have had it in writing. I just got the wedding march when I wanted cannon in D.
7. Don't rely on people – this is a whole thread on its own
[/FONT]
[FONT="]
8. Never meet your childhood heroes[/FONT]
[FONT="]The DJ was from our home country and we always used to listen to him on the radio. [/FONT]
· [FONT="]Three days before the wedding we gave him a playlist of about 20 songs people had requested, none of them at all unusual, living la vida loca, Michael Jackson, ABBA that sort of thing. I sent him the email at 4am because I was awake but he complained to my husband it woke him up – it’s not my fault he linked his email to his phone to notify him whenever he gets an email. I would never dream of texting someone at that hour but I never imagined an email would disturb anyone.[/FONT]
· [FONT="]He complained that he had had to take a whole day off to find the songs and not to ask for any more requests??? They were all very very common songs all from the top ten at some point.[/FONT]
· [FONT="]We had also sent him a mixed CD of songs for when people were having dinner, so all he really needed to come up with himself was the music for when people arrive at the venue and the disco. When we got to the venue after our photos there was no music!!! The guests had been waiting around in silence – apparently the DJ was waiting for the wedding party before he started playing music ???? [/FONT]
· [FONT="]We also gave him contact details of the venue manager so they could discuss his PA system and sound system etc. When he started playing the music it was only coming out of one speaker because he had not linked up with the venues speaker system and we could not hear him on the other side of the room[/FONT]
· [FONT="]In an email we asked if he could announce he was DJ xyz and play his little jingle because it would be so nice to hear our childhood dj and it would bring back memories for so many people, he refused and said it was only for radio (he had not been on air for over 10 years) and not public functions... He also did not announce his name so no one realised that this was the DJ from our home country.[/FONT]
· [FONT="]We did make sure he was fed and told him to ask the best man if he needed anything but he was very prickly and precious the whole time.[/FONT]
· [FONT="]He played our last dance as our first dance and vice versa.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]I think I will lurk on this forum a bit even though I am already married! Good luck to you all
[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT]
0
Comments
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wow you really did have a lot of problems didn't you. unfortunately a lot of wedding planning is looking back and realising what was a good or bad idea and I think there is an element of luck involved as to whether something goes down well or not.
I think you and your husband should have a big first wedding anniversary party to make up for the problems that happened - but make sure you organise it a lot better this time! x0 -
We were very lucky and had no problems.
My only advice - dont go over planning everything. You dont need to plan every little, tiny detail. Aunt mable will not notice if the shade of napkin doesnt match the rest of the colour scheme! We knocked lots of the smaller things on the head and it didnt make a blind bit of difference to the day.:jProud mummy to a beautiful baby girl born 22/12/11 :j0 -
We had a tourist party from Dubai crash ours - it was hilarious :rotfl: They'd never seen a western wedding and got in the way loads. I am sure they got better photos than our photographer! The photographer thought they belonged to us, so we have loads of photos of people we have no idea who they were.
OH's sister wouldn't sod off, so is in most of the photos (they are less formal than the usual UK-type shots, but I had to spend quite some time photoshopping her out!)
OH left the rings in his coat pocket and only realised at the altar :rotfl: :rotfl: (his coat was on the front seat in the chapel)
My advice - learn not to care, learn to laugh and just run with it
Life doesn't always go the way you planned either. cel x :staradmin:starmod: beware of geeks bearing .gifs...:starmod::staradmin:starmod: Whoever said "nothing is impossible" obviously never tried to nail jelly to a tree :starmod:0 -
Try and focus on the positives!First baby due 3/3/14 - Team Yellow! Our little girl born 25/2/14
0 -
our reception was in a hotel where they had a coach party of Americans staying - they thought that the wedding had been put on for them so the could experience genuine British life. they took lots of photos, so somewhere there a loads of pics of us and our bridesmaids looking our best! it wasn't a problem as they were charming'We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time0
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I'm so sorry that you had these problems, on the other hand reading this has made me realise that I need to toughen up over an issue I'm currently having with a friend over childrens meals. She is adamant that her children will not eat anything at all off the menu (there is loads to choose from) And has rung the hotel behind my back to try and get them to make something they don't normally do. The children have no dietary requirements or allerges and I was not happy but willing to give her what she wants. I am now going to tell her that I'm going to choose thief meal like we have done with the other guests and if she doesn't like it she can bring her own stuff.I :heart2: saving money0
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At my first wedding I managed to leave my bouquet at home. We got to the church and the photographer spotted I was flowerless. My uncle (who was giving me away) legged it across the churchyard to flag down the wedding car which was parking up and they had to shoot back home to get it, luckily only a few minutes drive. And we did end up with a lovely picture of my uncle arriving at the church with a bouquet in had and having to get through the crowd of locals from the town who'd all gathered at the church gate to watch!
This time round my flowers won't be with me but will be delivered to my OH and kids to bring along to the venue, where DS1 or 2 will give them to me. I am SO worried they'll forget to bring them with them and be stuck an hour away!0 -
our reception was in a hotel where they had a coach party of Americans staying - they thought that the wedding had been put on for them so the could experience genuine British life. they took lots of photos, so somewhere there a loads of pics of us and our bridesmaids looking our best! it wasn't a problem as they were charming
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
lmao! I would have gone a long with it then handed them the wedding bill at the end!0 -
I'm so sorry that you had these problems, on the other hand reading this has made me realise that I need to toughen up over an issue I'm currently having with a friend over childrens meals. She is adamant that her children will not eat anything at all off the menu (there is loads to choose from) And has rung the hotel behind my back to try and get them to make something they don't normally do. The children have no dietary requirements or allerges and I was not happy but willing to give her what she wants. I am now going to tell her that I'm going to choose thief meal like we have done with the other guests and if she doesn't like it she can bring her own stuff.
Perhaps if the little darlings get thier chicken nuggets they wont be crying and whinging during the speaches! If mummy wants to sort them out, leave her to it. You can then focus on having a good time The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain :happyhear
Love to win. Thank you to all who post!:beer:
£147/£2012
Gold - iPad Silver - hotel stay [STRIKE]bronze - vouchers[/STRIKE]0
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