Newly engaged friend

jocstoke

I am sure that I saw a similar post to this, but I've searched and searched and can't find it! So I'm starting a new one...

My friend has recently got engaged. I'm writing her some advice that I wish I'd been given when I first got engaged myself. Below is what I've got so far, does anyone have anything to add? Thanks!

• Enjoy it! Try not to get too bogged down in all the details – will anyone really notice if the ribbon on the favours doesn’t exactly match the colour of the bridesmaid dresses? No, but everyone will notice how happy and in love you and M look. You’re marrying the man you love, and that’s all that really matters in the grand scheme of things.

• Go crazy buying wedding magazines for inspiration… then stop! Once you’ve got an idea of what you want to go for, it can be a bit overwhelming looking at all the massive-budget perfect weddings you see in the magazines – and they tend to make you want lots of things that you can’t necessarily afford!

• Get quality advice where you can. One website I found exceedingly helpful was the forum on the moneysaving expert website - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=142 The members are so helpful and friendly, it has been a god-send.

• Make the most of your family and friend’s skills. If anyone has a talent, ask them if they wouldn’t mind putting it to good use for you. To get you kick started, I would be happy to make a wedding cake for you…

• Haggle! This genuinely isn’t as scary as it sounds! My favourite phrase was “I’m on a tight budget, is there anything we can do with the price?” - I have saved hundreds of pounds just asking this, and if there is no room for negotiation they just say no. You should be able to save extra as you and M are getting married on a Sunday.

• Yes, it’s your day… but don’t forget to be considerate of other people’s feelings! It’s very easy to get carried away in the “I’m the bride so I should get whatever I want” train of thought, but a little consideration for others goes a long way.

• Don’t try to do everything yourself. I tried to do this and ended up getting massively overwhelmed and stressed. Delegate as much as you can – your mum, sister, bridesmaid, and of course M will all be happy to help.

Debbiecatal

Brilliant advice - I would also add:

Decide on your particular priorities for your wedding eg if you want fabulous photos but aren't bothered about cars, or if you must have a horse and carriage but aren't bothered about a live band, etc - then you can have some things that you really want and are expensive by adjusting your particular budget to suit.

I have been married 32 years and my wedding day is a distant blur (to be honest it was a bit of a blur the next day too!) Remember it is a special day, but the marriage is more important than the wedding - when things get stressful and fraught during the preparations, remember why you are doing it.