Finally want to get married

maggie_12

Hi everyone!!

I have done the whole wedding planning thing twice now, and still not made it down the aisle! The first one I was very young and my partner at the time (also very young) decided he didn't want to get married anymore and broke my heart. I had to cancel the wedding. Got over it and gave him the boot!

I'm now with someone truly wonderful and we got engaged after just 8 months together. At that point I was very excited about getting married but unfortunately 2 weeks after we got engaged my mum passed away. I was only 29 and it was a really horrible time. I tried to continue with my life and my plans but the wedding was becoming a financial and emotional drain and I was in a bad place and found it difficult to even speak most days. I had to cancel the wedding, I just couldn't commit. I was honest with my OH about how I felt and could see his heart breaking in front of me. I hated myself but it was how I felt at the time. He lives in hope that one day I'll want to get married again.

That was nearly 2 years ago and I now feel I'm ready to get married - and hopefully this time actually make it to my wedding day!

I WANNA GET MARRIED TO THE MAN I HAVE LOVED SINCE THE DAY I MET HIM!!!!!!!!!!! :T:T:T

BUT I'm gonna need to do it on a budget! I'm not interested in planning a wedding over any longer than a year, it's too long so I want to plan and do it quick hence money is limited.

Has anyone else managed to keep their wedding under £2,000? That is my top budget! Any ideas would be blissfully welcome I live in Scotland by the way

x

MsShopper

Maggie, just wanted to say how heartening your post is. I lost my mum at a similar age, so I know how devastating it is. Really glad to hear your relationship had the strength to make it through your grief and get back to where you both want to be.

There are lots of wise MSE-ers on here who will offer their advice. I guess the first place I would look is your venue, as that's usually the biggest single expense. Some hotel/pub chains do £999 all-inclusive wedding reception deals, so that may be something to consider. Or you might find a local social club will do you a great deal on room hire and let you self-cater, which means you can really control costs. Good luck!

White_Sapphire

Welcome to the Wedding board maggie_12!!

So sorry that you lost your mum at such a young age. Sounds like you did the right thing by postponing the wedding, and you sound like you have a lovely supportive H2B. You could do things like use her favourite colour or flowers, wear a piece of her jewellery, or have a picture of her somewhere at the reception, so that she is a part of your day.

£2k is doable - thevenue and the food & drink are usually the most expensive parts of thebudget, so look at where you will get married - church, registry office (a civil ceremony ina venue that's not a registry office will generally be quite expensive, as the hire fees, cost for the registrar to come to the venue, and other things like having to use the venue's nominated caterers etc can be very high), or Humanist ceremony, which can be held pretty much anywhere and is legally binding in Scotland. Places like community halls can be good for the reception as they are cheap to hire and you can usually do what you like with them within reason.

Find out what your family and friends are goodat - people are usually delighted tobeaskedto contribute their talents - my H2B and I, along with various friends and relatives are DIY-ing almost everything from outfits to decorations, which issaving us thousands!

And of course there are loads of tips and lots of support on this board - don't forget to join the thread for your month when you have set the date!

Good luck, let us know how things are going.

x

bubbles0169

aw what a sad story with a happy ending
yes lots of people have managed to do it for that or less if you search the forum youll find some, ill have a quick look for you x

bubbles0169

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2212307

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/396081

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/738257

Hollie84

Hi and welcome,so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum

were doing it for around £3500 but we are having a church wedding,did u want church or registry office? regisrty office/civil ceremony would be cheaper
keeping your numbers down will also make it cheaper especially if u plan on having a sit down meal then buffet in the evening.we have booked a beautiful tudor/victorian style venue there package is £1350 that includes,cermony room,wedding breakfast room,buffet evening room,sit down meal for 35 buffet for 65,bridal suite,drinks on arrival,drinks to toast.we have 37 in the day which was an added 2 kids so only had to pay £19 each for them and then we have 80/85 in the evening but have paid for an extra 5 at £10 each as people who had the meal arnt going to be starving and there is 6 buffet items to choose from per person.

my dress i got on a sale rail for £300 down from £600 she knocked me an extra £50 off to have a lace up back put in so got it for a bargain price of £250,its an eternity bride one so shop around and find warehouses that have sales,where are u located?

im doing invites,centre pieces,flower,favourss myself with a little help from family most of which will come off ebay then i will do the printing
my shoes were brand new off ebay aswell,there beautiful
do u plan of having a wedding car or do u know someone who has a nice car that could transport you??

hope some of this info helps

Hollie84

also be cheeky,u dont ask u dont get. one place quoted us £1800 we knocked them down to £1300 but we decided against that venue in the end anyway

maggie_12

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words. I am feeling so alive, it's like I've finally come out of the other side of grief (thought I had but still couldn't even consider getting married). I feel like a new woman!!

I'll keep you posted, got a few things to consider before I jump the gun. The biggest thing is that my OH has a trust deed and has 2.5 years left to pay off his debt. I'm concerned what will happen if I become his wife before his debt is paid off. I'll need to look into that first!

If anyone on here is a solicitor or a debt expert, I'd really appreciate your advice on that. We're not linked financially as the mortgage and house is in my name and we have no joint bank a/c but not sure what happens once we're married. I'm not fussed about having a poor credit rating as a result as I am just about to make my final payment to my long standing credit card debt and I'll be debt-free, I have no interest in getting more finance or credit cards. What I'm worried about is being responsible for his debt if he were to (touch wood) die. It's a morbid thought but I have to be sensible about these things.

xxx

Dekazer

You absolutely can get married for that amount! And many congratulations

There aren't many fixed costs to getting married (y'know, the registrar and possibly giving notice etc), but that's a few hundred. Other than that it's all up for grabs.

I agree with others that your priority should be to finalise your max budget, then find a venue that suits it - everything else will work around that.

One thing we found helped was to think about what our priorities were for the atmosphere/character of the day. Our top thing was that we didn't want anyone to have to pay for anything on the day. That dictated the food/booze budget, which in turn affected the venue choice. Everything else is less important. OH is paying quite a lot for his suit, as that was high on his list. I'm paying less for a dress than many people might, but instead am paying for some important guests to travel and stay over, as that matters more to me. Our budget might be a wee bit higher than yours, but the decision making process could be very similar.

And use this place! It's awesome for tips and links and support xx

bubbles0169

hi again maggie, id repost your questions about debt on the debt free board or money saving in marriages and relationships if you dont get the answers here
you do sound very alive well done! im sure your mum is VERY proud of you right now for living your life xx

maggie_12

Thank you Bubbles x