I've bitten off more than I can chew and I'm fed up.

balletshoes

have you/your husband actually told his boss that you need this money now, not later? I mean have you actually said something along the lines of "if the money isn't paid this week OH will not be able to afford to put any fuel in the car/pay his bus fares to get to work".

This is not your fault, its totally your OH's boss, and in your shoes I'd be calling him every single day and getting on his case. If you don't have that money, you can't progress much more with the move. If this is the root of most of your issues right now, this is the one I'd be tackling - if I managed to do nothing else. I understand your OH bosses are nice but monied folk, but nice and monied isn't helping you.

In situations like this aliasojo, I morph into my mother - she's a scary woman when she's on a mission .

Savvy_Sue

Have you seen the GP about the arm, aj? Could be worth seeing if you can get some decent painkillers for it.

aliasojo

VfM4meplse wrote: »

It's up to your husband to chase his employer, not you!

When I said 'we', it was a 'royal' we. Obviously I haven't been dealing with OH's boss.

OH isn't having much fun either so it's not as if he's living it up and not caring about us. He works 12+ hour shifts, goes home knackered and also eats beans on toast. (The cooker in the rented place has started tripping the electricity so he can't cook anything anyway. Obviously it will get dealt with when we move down properly too but he's never there at the moment to get it seen to.)

balletshoes wrote: »

have you/your husband actually told his boss that you need this money now, not later? I mean have you actually said something along the lines of "if the money isn't paid this week OH will not be able to afford to put any fuel in the car/pay his bus fares to get to work".

Yes, it has been spelt out. The problem is the way the company processes this type of thing. It's a large multi-national with a specific chain of command and more than one person is involved with signing off claims. All it takes is for one to 'forget' or to not deal with it promptly and you're stuffed.

OH's boss is also difficult to get hold of (he's a regional boss) and doesn't always reply to emails or voice messages left for him. The man is incredibly busy and has a lot of important stuff to deal with so I guess in the whole scheme of things, we're way down the pecking order. When he does reply, it's the usual platitudes.

The money aspect is only one part of it all though. Other things are just as pressing.

I think the problem is that it's all taken it's toll now. You know how if you live beside a noisy neighbour and their noise grates on you day in day out and eventually you become noise sensitive and you can't cope with any noise at all?

Well I think that's how I feel now. Years of stress have built up and had an effect so when faced with these problems now, I'm just not as able as I used to be to deal with them all. I honestly just want to throw in the towel and sod off. I can't tell OH how I feel as it's not fair, he's got stuff on his plate down there too and the last thing he needs is to worry if his OH is going loopy or is going to walk out.

SS......yes, been seeing doc and physio for a while. Might have to get referred to surgeon if it doesn't improve.

Savvy_Sue

OK, another suggestion to check out with physio / GP: would it help to use a sling when you're not actually using it, so that you don't accidentally use it more than you have to? If that makes sense ...

balletshoes

Thing is though aliasojo, if you really do feel like you just want to bog off out of it, you should tell your OH. He really may not be aware how close to the edge you're getting over all of this - and I'd be telling his boss how its affecting you too.

gratefulforhelp_2

Hon I would see the GP for a chat about your end-of-tetherness, when I feel like that I want to retreat to my bed and never get out.

No shame in a little chemical help to get you through this.

LegalBlonde

Can your OH (sorry if this has been answered I have been a bit AWOL from these boards with the wedding etc) come down at the weekends? If so you will have to be firm and make to do lists for when he is there. If not, can you divide what you need to do into lists, and categories of urgency? We had so much to do for the wedding in the last week it got very stressful, grumpy and tearful, but dividing things into little deadlines and what *really* needed done when was all that worked.

For example I am little overwhelmed by tidying our house today after the madness of wedding weekend etc. I read half your thread, did the bedroom, and came back.

Hugs x

Gingham_R

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. The only thing I can think of to suggest is asking for help - from anyone who might be able. Manageable things from them like doing some batch cooking for you or helping move some boxes or spending an hour having a moan to them even!

And the people who haven't done what was needed - can you let them know how deeply it's impacting on you? You sound worn out I think it's okay to let people see that.