how to stop spending?

GeorgieFTB

When it comes to the tinternets, I have wish lists all over the place... My @m@zon wish list is currently being paid for by survey sites... it meeans that I get the thrill of shopping but none of my cash gets used just vouchers... it does mean that I get too reconfigure my list every now and again, eg more shopping, as things I thought I wanted after a few weeks and many surveys later... turns out I don't!

Gx

Rachel021967

Thank you for starting this thread. I have a terrible problem with spending, even now when my husband is unemployed. My problem is I see no future only the here and now. I like the idea of the weekly allowance and having a wish list. I will be taking notes from this thread.

bunberry

I find this demotivator on MSE quite useful as I do most of my shopping online. Every time I find myself drawn towards something unnecessary such as random magazines/beauty products/clothes I put the numbers in, and it's shocking to see how little things really do add up.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/demotivator/

It isn't a universal solution to spending, but a good starting point imo.

[Deleted User]

Just been reading the posts and lots of excellent tips.Strangely enough my eldest DD and I were talking about this only last night when she popped in for half an hour.She is 44, and said she has kept a large book for all her expences since she was 17, and a smaller book for day to day stuff in her handbag.In fact she asked my to pick her a new one up in Wilkinsons today .Her existing one she started last February and its falling to bits and nearly full.I showed her one that I had from the year she was born in 1967 with my shopping list written neatly out from the front pages onwards and the back page lists our small owings.They amounted to £130. for a couple of bits that I had bought from my sis-in-laws catalogue book for her impending birth.
Its scary how much food has gone up in the space of 44 years ,but interesting nonetheless.My housekeeping then was £8.10.00 per week and the shopping usually came for the week to around £4-5 for two of us and 'the bump'
Shelley (my DD) is very much like me very organised and can tell you almost to the penny how much is in both her purse and her bank account,whilst my youngest (Tessa) often has a turn out of her handbag and finds odd bits of cash she has shoved in and forgotten about :0 not that she has lots but she is not so focussed as her sister.
I have always kept a small red shopping book to list my needs in (note needs, not wants)and I always keep a separate purse for my food shopping allowance which buys only food and nothing else.I too try not to visit the shops too often for small amounts as its deadly as if you go into say tescos or sainsbobs for milk or bread you will almost always buy something lese .So definitely only shop when you are in dire need of replacing something that you have run out of. I keep some long-life milk in the fridge in case I only need milk and it's suprising how much you save just by doing that.I live about two minutes walk from a shopping centre so if I want to go for a walk I turn left instead of right and go to the library or park where I don't get tempted to shop

Aarons_mummy

Recently I have had a real problem with internet shopping. I think to myself that it's a really good deal and I shouldn't miss out and I haven't bought many new clothes since I was pregnant 3 years ago meaning I ended up spending £40 last night even though I know I can't really afford it. I go through phases for ages I will be fine and save money but then I go on a huge splurge that can last any amount of time and I stockpile and buy things that realistically I don't need. Most of the time I'm not thinking of the consequences and I'm just so motivated by buying what it is I've seen.

I've tried hiding my cards, but I know the numbers off by heart. It's starting to cause quite a few problems. I need to get this under control NOW!

culpepper

The internet can be so tempting.
I think you just have to avoid looking .
I don't go to the shops much for the same reason.
Marketing strategies are very clever, people are paid big money to find psychological ways to get us to part with our hard earned cash.
They use phrases like 'today only', 'don't miss out','new for July' etc to get you thinking you are limited to time.
This seasons colour,print or cut to instantly make all your clothes outdated just because they say so.
Then there are price wordings like 'Only' (used on anything to make it sound like a bargain),'under £50' when really it is £49.99 (a whole penny less) ,'grab yourself a bargain'(sounds sort of spivvy when you say it yourself),'free voucher when spending £x'(this is another way of saying ,we will let you come back and spend more money at our store but you wont be able to get anything for the voucher alone.)
Lastly the mind tricks 'because you are worth it','pamper yourself','choose luxury' because your mind will reverse them and think if you don't do it it is because you aren't worth it,don't want luxury,never deserve to be pampered.

Sometimes you just have to be tough on yourself like you would be with the kids. When they see expensive, desirable things it is easy to say, those are birthday or Christmas things ,not every day things (works with food too)and you can do the same with yourself. It is surprising how many desirables are not even interesting when you know there is one day on which to choose them and it is 6 months in the future.

YORKSHIRELASS

For me the biggest change came when I started keeping accurate records of my finances. I made myself do a spreadsheet each month recording everything that came in and everything that went out. When its all there in black and white there is no hiding from it.

I also started keeping a spending diary where I record all the cash I spend.

Gradually over time I accepted the fact that I dont have as much spare cash as I thought I did and buying clothes or shoes when its just getting you further into debt is just plain stupid.

I am still tempted though, especially with the internet! Last night I saw some boots in a sale for £20 and wanted them. I just said to myself that I got through all last winter with the boots I have already so why do I need new ones? I also make myself wait 24 hours before I buy anything, if its sold out then its not meant to be.

GreyQueen

Lots of excellent advice up here already.

I'm very much a fan of keeping track of your spending and have done so for over 10 years. As others have remarked on this thread, it is a real eye-opener.

I also do a funny little thing by working out my actual hourly rate (divide my net pay by the hours I put in to get it) so I can price something in hours. If you had commuting and/ or childcare costs deduct these to get your true "net" figure. We actually earn a heck of a lot less than we think we do.

Sometimes my job is a PITA and all of those hours' pay were hard-earned, so I mentally say to myself; "Is X purchase worth Y labour hours to me?" Often the answer is no and even if it's sort of...it will give me pause.

This month I have done very little more than pay bills and buy a few whoopsied groceries but I did push the boat out yesterday on a Laura Ashley fruit bowl for a whole £2 in the charity shop, and I thought hard about spending even that. But I really liked it and treated myself.

I would say to anyone who feels out of control around spending, and cannot help themselves with the homely remedies up here, you might have a serious problem which could be helped professionally and it would be better, IMO, to seek that help rather than get into crippling debts......only for those in a very serious way, of course.

Oh, a last thought, I do find dragging stuff out of it's stash-holes and keeping an inventory helpful. I can safely say that I know how many bars of soap are stashed between the towels of the airing cupboard and how many tee shirts I have and that I can remind myself of these figures when tempted......

mmmsnow

Aarons_mummy wrote: »

Recently I have had a real problem with internet shopping.

One of my friends has a large CC debt and tends to shop on Amazon to cheer herself up (she has the largest Wish List I've ever seen - almost a thousand items). Her house is full of unread books, unwatched DVDs and CDs that have never had the cellophane taken off.

She had her LBM six months ago and asked my husband to set it up so that her router blocks Amazon (and a couple of other sites like HMV and Play). Initially she asked him to do this for a month, to see what happened. In the end, this forced her to find other things to do with her time and she's cut her outgoings down by not spending hours on websites looking for things to buy

GreenNinja

I think it takes time and a lot of effort to "train yourself" as other people have said to think about whether you really need to buy something or not. I still buy things on impulse sometimes and when I get home and feel stupid/guilty for buying stuff I don't actually need end up taking it back for a refund. When you feel that you really want something and that its a bargain, its very hard to walk away sometimes, but worth it when you give yourself a pat on the back for not succumbing to temptation!