Confused

chasinghappiness

Not really sure where to start......
At the moment i cannot even think straight, i feel at a total loss and feel i have nobody to turn to. I realised i had a problem managing money a few years back, having had other things going on in my life as well I went to the doctor who referred me to a mental health worker and was diagnosed with an anxiety/depression disorder. Everybody deals with this in different ways, and mine came out in ignorance to letters through my door. I think ignorance is the wrong word, i couldnt bare to look at the letters and used to just let them build up or put them somewhere in the house i could not see them. At one point i had bailiffs knocking on my door at 6am in the morning. The frustrating thing is, I knew this would happen, but even so i blocked it out of my mind so much its like i wont allow myself to deal with it. This all happened approximately 2 years ago, family members ended up helping me out, to whom i know owe money. I did not carry on seeing my mental health worker as i felt i could not fully open up to her. The appointment were every four to five weeks, and i felt that i need more support, maybe seeing somebody once a week.
Just as i had got myself straight, i met my current partner and myself and my daughter moved in with him (1 year ago, and i was renting before). Even though i should have had the ease of not having all the bills etc to pay for myself, i have slowly slipped back in to how i was before, only i am feeling so low about everything as i am not happy and feel i have nowhere else to go now i have given up my house. I feel guilty that i am down a lot of the time for my daughter, i feel lost, confused, anxious, my head just never stops thinking about what i am going to do. It is effecting everything, i can feel myself getting back to how i was before, i wont speak to my friends, i am now fun to be around anymore, i just feel like i need to get away. I cant even get a loan to pay off all the people i owe money to because of bad credit. i have no home, no car and it is so frustrating as with my wage i know, gven the chance i could live fine. i really dont know what to do.

Hovel_lady

I'm sorry you're feeling so low.
Can you talk to your partner about any of this? I know it might be scary but if you can do so. Having someone on your side to help and support you will really help.
Do you feel you can talk to you GP?
If you need help sorting out debts please post details on here if you feel able. Or you can talk to one of the free debt advice charities. Link here:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2077631

You're not alone. Do let us know how you are getting on xx

tlc123_2

First things first, get yourself back to the GP. As someone that has suffered with depression and anxiety for a long time and who has a lot of debt, I do understand. For me, the way I spent money is totally tied p in depression, because its the instant gratification of it.
Speak to the GP, get yourself on some medication that may help to lift your mood - depression is an illness the same as any other, and sometimes medication is the only way. I also had cognitive behavioural therapy which was the best thing I ever did - discuss it with the GP, it's available on the NHS.

Well done for writing this, reaching out to people and accepting there is a problem - believe me I know how hard that is. There are plenty of people on here that will help.

Book that appointment as soon as you get up in the morning, write yourself a budget/list of debts etc - use the statement of affairs available on here and post it up - people will be able to help from there. But your health must come first
T x

chasinghappiness

Thank you both for a reply.
It made me feel sick even writing on here. The sad thing is i dont feel i can talk to my partner, we have not been getting along for sometime, which i think is another contributing factor to how i feel and how i manage things. It has also made me realise that this relationship is not right, but i feel trapped because of my money situation. The thing is, i dont actually owe any companies money anymore as friends/family bailed me out before i moved in with my partner, i just ower everyone money now, but i cant control what i am doing with it. i then started borrowing a couple of hundred from these 'pay day' advance companies ........ viscious circle!! i feel like im battling with brain trying to stop these horrible feelings coming through. I dont know where to turn, its like i just shut off from everything and refuse to deal with it no matter how serious the problem.
And tlc123, when i read your reply i could not stop crying, the thought that somebody experiences the same kind of thing, i know i need help but dont know where to turn to. My other problem is i am that used to putting on a front, that when i go to the doctors the words never come out that i want.......i would love for someone just to take me sort me out and be there for me afterwards. i cant see a way forward at the moment. i need to get out of this house but i cant

Hovel_lady

If you don't feel able to talk to your doctor can you write down how you feel and take it with you? I've done that in the past when I just couldn't say how I felt. Best thing I did, my GP was so helpful.
If you just need to talk anytime don't forget the Samaritans are there. They won't judge you and will just listen.
((hugs))

Rob79_2

You're having a totally natural response to the situation you're in. I went through the same emotional roller coaster when my debt problems overwhelmed me. The best advice I can offer is to go back and see your GP and tell them exactly how you're feeling.

When I saw my GP they gave me just enough help and support to help me find the strength to start actively managing and dealing with my debt situation and without the counselling and medication I couldn't have done this.

Try and plan how you're going to get your remaining debt cleared and there are loads of people who can hepl with this. I found national debtline and the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (CCCS) extremely helpful. They too gave me the support I needed to get on top of the situation and once I had a handle on it and took control the stress and anxiety slowly went away.

The support you obviously need is readily available to you if you ask for it. There are loads of people out there who are both willing and happy to help if you ask.

tlc123_2

Hi chasinghappiness
Sorry I made you cry!! But if it was the realisation that you're not alone then that's good. I was the same - people still say I hide it so well! But the doctors are trained to see beyond that. To suffer with depression doesn'r have to mean you're constantly in tears - with me it was always a massive flat mood - no highs or lows. Just nothing. No motivation, I'd sit and stare at a blank TV. Sounds like you're anxious too. I can't say enought how much i think you need to see the GP - there's no shame in it, just tell them how you feel and say that actually you've become very good at hiding it.

PM me if you want any advice.

T x

misstasty

Hi Chasinghappiness hun,
Erm, not really got any other advice other than I'm in complete agreement with the ablove posters...please go back to the doctors, depression for what ever reason is horrible. I had PND a long time ago and would never want to be in that place again, ever....write your GP a letter, that in itself will help you as you will see the words there and that its real...you are not imagining this and nobody will judge you, infact...bloody well done for plucking up the courage to reach out on here...I'll be popping back to check up on you xxxx

GeorgieFTB

Hi CH

The others are giving you good advice... the best thing you could do is book an appointment with your GP and just print this thread out, it pretty much covers what you need to say... and you can try to expand on anything later... once the initial help has been got (my english is appaling!)

Once your health is being looked at then you can start to deal with the financials... is there a family member who can help you, not with money just support, help you open the letters, deal with the payday loans... help fill out an SOA, write up a plan of action, whatever you need your hand held through.

I find having someone to moan to, and someone there helps me, I also need a to do list but I do understand that everyone works differently... welcome to the forum...

Gx

misstasty

Sooo....How's it going?????