Colleague who has no conception of personal space

warehouse

Here's a new one. There's a new guy in the office, (transferred from another department), who doesn't seem to understand the notion of personal space. For example, this morning he needed my assistance on something and walked up to my desk, but instead of stopping at the edge of the desk he was so close I had to look almost straight up to look him in the eyes. It was very uncomfortable and luckily only lasted 10 seconds or so.

I've now watched him approach others and the exact same thing happens, so it's not just me. Nobody has said anything so far. Now next time this occurs I will say something, but he's new and I want to make the point without being offensive.

How would you best go about this?

(Those of you who reply with "I'd tell him straight GET OUT OF MY FACE", please don't bother replying because we all know you wouldn't)

Jarndyce

You've answered your own question. You make the point without being offensive. Just say "Excuse me John, Would you mind just standing a little further away - you're making me feel a little uncomfortable stood so close", and smile and say thank you when he does it, then carry on the conversation normally. Job done.

kataklysm

- Eat garlic bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.

- Stock up on Lemsip, Olbas oil, a few boxes of tissues, big scarf, hot water bottle .. Then next time he wanders over "COUGHCOUGHCOUGH *snoooooort* HACK HACK HACK oh god I'm so ill.. ACHOO bleeeeugh *wipe*"

- Invest in a big stick, and poke him with it until he is at optimal distance.

- Do like the Magners guy and grow a beard of bees.

- Tape a kipper to the underside of your desk.

- Make a fort out of old cardboard boxes and piles of paper, and arm yourself with elastic bands.

Etc.

dandelionclock30

As above just ask the man if he wouldnt mind please stepping back as he is too close and say thanks.
I used to work with someone like that and it got so bad we kept having to say get back or hold our arms out and say this is the distance needed etc.
If he continues to do it, just keep asking him to please give you more space and have a word with your supervisor.

k3lvc

Not meaning to be the grammar police but hopefully you mean concept rather than conception - the latter tends to be frowned upon in office environments :rotfl:

londoner1998

warehouse wrote: »

Here's a new one. There's a new guy in the office, (transferred from another department), who doesn't seem to understand the notion of personal space. For example, this morning he needed my assistance on something and walked up to my desk, but instead of stopping at the edge of the desk he was so close I had to look almost straight up to look him in the eyes. It was very uncomfortable and luckily only lasted 10 seconds or so.

I've now watched him approach others and the exact same thing happens, so it's not just me. Nobody has said anything so far. Now next time this occurs I will say something, but he's new and I want to make the point without being offensive.

How would you best go about this?

(Those of you who reply with "I'd tell him straight GET OUT OF MY FACE", please don't bother replying because we all know you wouldn't)

I feel for you- I work with a bunch of people with no regards for others' space or existance in the office.
In your case- could it be that this person hasn't got the best social skills? I have worked with someone like that in the past who while making tea would just jump on me to wash a spoon, like your colleague, very close physcially without asking- in other occassions he woudl shout very loudly across the office (!). I realised quickly something was going on -I think they are not very aware of physical space and boudaries.
I have also worked with someone with Asperger's and in his case it was so well managed that he was the easiest person I have worked with. But he told me and explained what wouls happen (ie, 'if you are crying one day and I see you and walk on without saying anything , it is not because I am heartless- I just can not read facial expressions') He was the best boss I ever had and we are still in touch.

I would just move away myself- if it gets very bad, just speka quitely to him, in a kind way- you just don;t know why he does it.

saintjammyswine

How about, as per the advert for the Aussie Lager, a shouter and a leaner. In other words, a colleague who, despite being only a few inches away, seems to need to shout, talk over you and make a normal conversation seem like you have been exercising?

safesound

I used to have a section manager who would touch too much, not just me but all the women in the store. Come and speak to me, touch me on the shoulder. walk past me, place your hands on my hips. Confirm something I asked, hold my hand. Its wasnt anything untoward he just came from a far more touchy feely environment. I asked my line manager to have a discrete word with him about it and he stopped doing it almost straight away, poor sod must have been mortified he was making us so uncomfortable. I later found out I wasn't the only one to mention it.
There's no need to make a big deal out of it, just politely ask him to take a step back as he is in your personal space. Other people might start doing the same, even if they dont the worst that will happen is he'll think you're a bit strange but keep his distance anyway.

Claytone

I always go for acknowledging the awkwardness of the situation first. Then dive in the with a good bit of honesty. Usually goes over okay.

grudz

Eat some Scampi fries!!

Errata

warehouse wrote: »

Here's a new one. There's a new guy in the office, (transferred from another department), who doesn't seem to understand the notion of personal space. For example, this morning he needed my assistance on something and walked up to my desk, but instead of stopping at the edge of the desk he was so close I had to look almost straight up to look him in the eyes. It was very uncomfortable and luckily only lasted 10 seconds or so.

I've now watched him approach others and the exact same thing happens, so it's not just me. Nobody has said anything so far. Now next time this occurs I will say something, but he's new and I want to make the point without being offensive.

How would you best go about this?

(Those of you who reply with "I'd tell him straight GET OUT OF MY FACE", please don't bother replying because we all know you wouldn't)

The next time he does it to you (forget the colleagues, they will do whatever they feel comfortable with) stand up immediately, take a pace back and put your hand and arm out in front of you to give you the amount of personal space you need.
You don't need to say anything, discuss it with him, or do anything other than the above. He'll get the message, just like dogs do.