Advice???

Me_At_Home

I need your advice please….


Thanks, you've been a great help.

BanburyBride

It maybe that she is worried and just cant see past the operation and doesnt want to commit to anything just yet. If she is worried something is going to go wrong she probably couldnt imagine leaving him so soon after

You may find that the operation is a complete success, he recovers well and she is up for the hen do two days later, but of course she can't commit until after the operation. Could you offer to her to play it by ear and she can either join you if she feels comfortable enough to leave him

Its really hard hun, but us brides have to remember that while our wedding is the most important day of our lives, other peoples lives go on around us and things crop up

Fingers crossed the operation goes well and your friends OH makes a full recovery

sammy_wheeler

exactly what banbury said- your friend can't see after the op- which is normal
and your wedding/hen do are important to you-- but other people have their lives to lead- and its a terrible thing that her and her oh are having to go through so a night out is not on her priority list- which i think is fair enough

i think your h2b is overreacting by saying that he wont speak to her- thats not very helpful and will make the situation worse!

although u feel let down- its only one night and if you are good friends then you will see each other a lot!

donnap83

I think you're being really unfair.

If it was my partner, I would do exactly the same. Chances are that he will need post op care, even if he's discharged from hospital, so naturally she'll want to do.

Further to what Sammy is saying, it may be an important night for you, but the life of her husband is far more precious to her. A hen night is in essence just a night out.

Sorry, but I think you're being incredibly selfish.

donnap83

Furthermore, If you were in her situation, and you found out that she was annoyed that you were unable to attend, how would you feel?

I know i'd be upset, then seething.

Me_At_Home

Actually i would understand if she were upset because we have been friends for 17 years.

And I am sorry but I don't agree that a hen do is just a night out.

I of course would do the same if roles were reversed and I am not angry at her in the slightest. Just a little disappointed is all.

And just so you know, I am by no means a selfish person. But thanks for your constructive criticism.

donnap83

Me_At_Home wrote: »

Actually i would understand if she were upset because we have been friends for 17 years.

And I am sorry but I don't agree that a hen do is just a night out.

I of course would do the same if roles were reversed and I am not angry at her in the slightest. Just a little disappointed is all.

And just so you know, I am by no means a selfish person. But thanks for your constructive criticism.

You asked for peoples advise, and it was given.

As for how you would react if you were in her position, well, we only have your word for that. But i know that if my husband has a facial tumor and was having major surgery 2 days before the hen night, the hen night would be the last thing on my mind.