Feeling even worse after confessing debts to OH

LovelyLeeds

Pollycat wrote: »

but if your OH now realises that he has to put more into the pot than you maybe you could post a joint SOA so other people can see if there's a way out.
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That's a great suggestion, and it will show him how and why the money disappears so quickly. Once he sees the whole picture, I'm sure you can both come to a better agreement on how the bills/debts are to be managed. Good luck.

rdchick

Awww that's good that everything is looking brighter, our situation works like this: BF earns over double what I do, he pays 2/3 and I top it up seems to work quite well xxx

bouncydog1

Haven't read your other thread so don't know if you are in arrears. However if you enter into a DMP then your credit rating will be trashed so I am not sure how the FA could suggest you might shortly be able to get another mortgage.

As for your OH, he deserves a good kick up the rear! He clearly feels aggrieved that you "only" look after your children. Quite frankly I would give him a good talking to - remind him that they are his children too and if he doesn't want to behave like an adult instead of a spoilt brat you may have to consider your options!!

Grumpelstiltskin

Rach Did your friendly financial advisor tell you that in all probability he will take a cut 'commission' if he introduces you to a fee paying debt management company?

I bet he forgot to mention that.

fatbelly

IFAs are not debt advisers - it's a different area of expertise.

At least he didn't suggest a secured consolidation loan.

If you want an independent view, run it past National Debtline

podtav

Read of few of the posts, sorry to hear situation, but in terms of splitting money this is what we do and it works for us. (2 kids, different income levels).

1) Pool all income before pension contribtions, personal mobile bills etc.
2) Work out outgoings and put that money away each month into seperate bank account e.g one for morgage, one for food/bills etc.
3) Then split the rest 50/50. This money is then in your own account to do with what you want. Spent it however you want or save it in your 'own' personal bank account.

We probably have more arguements than most couples but in 6 yrs we have never agrued about money. I think if you totally share one account you will always be looking at what the other person is buying and you never will agree. Another benefit is it turns it into a competition to see who can save the most - helped me.

Also we do have a joint account for house stuff and when I buy on that account in never seems like my money (credit card sydrome) - another reason for having own personal accounts.

Hoped that might help a bit, not that its the best or only way but it works for us.