Getting divorced and in negative equity - please help

confusedandneedhelp_2

Hi everyone,

I usually post under a different name, but given the nature of this post I wanted to remain anonymous.

Basically I recently found out that my wife has been cheating on me. I suspected it for quite some time but its now become fact and w are likely heading for divorce.

A major complication is that as first time buyers we bought at the height of the property market. We are in negative equity to the tune of about £50,000.

I have no idea what my options are going forward.

Can anyone please help advise?

Thank you all so much. This community has always been great for me so I know I will find some great advice before I even post.

roonaldo

Sorry that's happened to you, that really sucks.

There really isn't any easy options, you could sell property and pay the shortfall with cash or buy her out (if your lender allowed it) with cash, but that's a lot of money to come up with.

Myself, i would kick her out, continue to live there and sell or remove her when its not in negative equity, but that could be years away.

Trying_to_be_good

Sorry to hear you're going through an emotional time. Working out your options is a good step.

Depending on what you want to do (more of that in a bit), theoretically you can

1. stay together as you are now
2. both stay in the house but live separate lives
3. you buy her out
4. she buys you out
5. you sell up and move on
6. both move out and rent it

Pros and cons of each:

1. Only works if you want to, and can, patch things up, but you live with the same financial situation you have now
2. Difficult to manage, but avoids the immediate question of paying back the negative equity and allows you to have your own lives to an extent
3. You need enough capacity to take on a full mortgage, plus have the equity to pay off the negative equity and build in as much equity as the mortgage provider wants/needs. Your wife should pay off her share of the negative equity, and costs, if she is walking away from the house.
4. Same as 3, but you'd need to pay off your share of the negative equity and costs
5. Need an arrangement (with the mortgage lender) to pay off the negative equity, they may not allow you to split the debt and you each remain liable for the whole negative equity. And that's if you can sell the property.
6. Need mortgage lender's permission (as now letting the house), keeps you tied to each other until you sell/one buys the other out.

It's not easy, so involves you working out what you want for te longer term. Having an affair does severely knock the trust in any relationship, but it doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship. That's the really big decision, and best made when you've had some time. I'd highly recommend Relate or similar counselling. You loved each otehr once, maybe something got in the way of that but there's still something strong there if you look for it?

Best of luck