Real life MMD: Should I buy my sons' clothes from Burberry?

spursliz

You don't say how old your son is but what I did when this ugly situation arose was agree to give him the price of Marks and Spencer - shoes, in this case - and he could pay the difference from his earnings from his paper round. This worked very well, made him realise how hard it was to earn the money to throw away on a label and from then on he was perfectly happy with unbranded goods. I am sorry if he will be bullied if he doesn't have designer stuff. That sounds awful.

speckledhen_3

I faced the same problem as a single parent with 3 sons, living in a very affluent area. I sat and discussed with them that I did not have money to buy designer clothes and shoes and could only afford essentials that were required for school. We agreed they would get an allowance each week, which they had to earn by doing jobs around the house (cleaning the bathroom everyday, hoovering/dusting/wiping doors down and washing up/emptying the dishwasher) which they did on a weekly rota. It was docked for misbehaviour or not completing their jobs in a staisfactory manner. The money was to be divided 3 ways, save a third for what they wanted to buy, another third for holiday money (to buy ice creams) (by budgeting strictly we managed to afford a cheap camping holiday) and the last third to save for the future, driving lessons, university etc. As soon as they were old enough they all got Saturday jobs and their allowances gradually stopped. My youngest is now 20 and all of them really appreciate the value of money and how hard it is to earn it, it made them and still makes them look after their hard earned purchases so that they last. Including the fact that they paid for all their driving lessons and drive responsibily to ensure they keep their licence. They have saved up and bought their own cars too.

So please teach your children that things do not come on a plate, they cannot have everything they want, it has to be earned. It is hard work on your part in the beginning but you will reap the rewards in the end.

slimmer1

surely the question is why your children have developed this set of values based on posessions. We brought ours up always with the reply 'we can't afford that' so often that they realised early days that value is important. As thay got older, we did 'treat' them to branded items with the proviso that they had to care for them as there was no replacement for careless damage. I also wonder what the ethos is within the school for materialistic principles and also other parents - I'm sure you're not on your own!

minicooper272

When my sister hit this phase, my Mum told her that if she wanted these things, she must get a job and pay for it. I think the rule was a wise one so I intend to use it if I ever have kids...

Mum paid for school uniform (we got a budget of about £100 for this to include a jacket, trainers and new school bag/stationary) and if we wanted something expensive, we had to top up a little bit. Anything else, we had to pay for ourselves. Every now and again, mum would give us £20 towards an outfit for a special occasion though, so we wouldn't feel too hard done by.

mippy

I have teenage nephews and Jack Wills is absolutely unheard of where they live - shows how arbitrary this stuff is!

"surely the question is why your children have developed this set of values based on posessions"

I think this is unfair. You can teach kids the value of individuality all you like - and that's a great and fantastic thing - but then they will go to school and meet other kids who use their possessions as a way of making themselves feel superior. At an age when people are at their most insecure, it's very hard to ignore. Branding is very, very powerful, even for rational, MSE adults! It makes me sad this stuff still goes on and that kids don't feel comfortable doing their own thing, but sadly it does.

cazpost

Quite obviously,if you can't afford the stuff,then you don't buy it.
If the children are old enough,encourage them to get jobs,to buy their own things.
Remember,you are the parent,and therefore you are in charge.
Explain to them why you cant buy them these things,and why they don't need them.
All the suggestions about eBay etc are great,for 'ordinary' clothes as well as designer stuff.
When I was a child we had very little money,so I often wore my brothers cast offs, home knitted jumpers,jumble sale/chrity shop items etc. My brother had our Uncles cast offs, which then came to me.(I am a girl btw) We understood that Mum didnt have money for fancy items, and we got on with it. I'm not sure where these schools are that have bullying based around your shoes or clothes, its not something I've ever experienced.

qaz

the women is a fool to both herself and her son because once u buy into that attitude/game the values/way of thinking starts affecting you, and usually last into adulthood, with very negative results as most of us will recognize...i genuinely feel sorry for the rich but rather st**** women

Pembroke

Either buy from charity shops or on ebay or encourage your children to be fashion setters rather than followers then they can wear what they like and let the others catch up.

jennie65

My daughter wanted baseball boots, and converse were all the rage, i couldnt afford converse so just got her a generic pair. someone at school did say "er you are wearing fake converse", she replied, "they are not fake, they were not trying to be converse in the first place"

My kids have never cared for brands, they would rather get a whole heap of new stuff from primark than one designer item. Which to be honest goes out of fashion and gets chucked on the floordrobe just the same.

So no, say not to designer, unless you can get a good deal.

Sheepster

Ridiculous!

Well I remember the kids in school who had the "in" stuff - doc martins and Spencer pants (It was the 80's, and......well possibly no-one outside the Calder Valley will know what the hell Spencer pants were, but hey.
Point is, most of the ones who could afford these (And by that, we mean "mummy and daddykins bought it for them, didddummmsssss"), well they ended up more the people I'd prefer I didn't keep in touch with.

Got kids myself now, and this sort of thing infuriates me. It never bothered me at school, because I was a very hard minded individual - I would actually go out my way to look different, but not everyone is me.

I'd normally not say such a thing on a public forum........but do you or anyone you know go on holiday to Turkey? Yes we shouldn't buy fakes, but I have no pity for the profits of companies using sweatshop labour anyway in the first place.

Otherwise, as others have said, Ebay is the most fantastic thing.

Arrgh raw nerve!