How much to give for a wedding present?

shellsuit

tiff wrote: »

Absolutely Shellsuit, cant believe what I'm reading.

Neither can I.

I think some people have generally got more greedy and selfish over the years.

We got married in October and wouldn't have dreamed of asking people to buy/give us X,Y and Z and we certainly didn't expect people to cover the cost of the food provided for them!

Maybe that's why some couples have these grand affairs now because they know if their guests contribute towards it, they can afford it!

What's wrong with a toaster or a photo frame?!

That was the norm IMO, not shedloads of cash to cover what you've eaten.

Infact the norm was for guests to buy the happy couple a gift which would help them set up home together, but seeing as though most live together before they get married, that's all gone out of the window.

Phoolgrrrl

We got married last year and were surprised to get £100 from a few of the couples who were friends, not relatives. however we also got presents of £20 - £50 cash and vouchers and also glasses, dishes etc. we did have a wedding list at argos as we were asked what we would like, I think the most expensive thing on it was £30 as that's what I was 'expecting' people would spend. I don't think £100 is the norm, I think closer to £50. But it does depend on your situation. We are going to 2 weddings this year and we will be giving £50 from us as a couple, both close friends, but that's stretching it for us with the cost of hotels etc. I was worried about the amount of the gift, but thinking about it we didn't 'judge' anyone on their gift to us so I don't think they will 'judge' us.

thriftytwosome

Being involved in wedding plans this year, as a parent of the groom and contributing a large chunk of cash towards the celebration, I am amazed at the amount some people would give as cash for a gift on the wedding day! I wonder if some of this money should come back to the people who are actually paying? Perhaps we could divi it up between the 3 parties involved! I had never considered this before ; ):j

I am probably rather old fashioned in believing that a gift isn't obligitory and it's only recently that I have become aware of the giving of cash as a present from a guest that is not a close family member. I am not saying that I think this is right or wrong, just different from my experience and I have never considered that the gift should cover the cost of the meal. It would be a great shame if an invitation was refused because someone couldn't afford the present. After all being a guest in itself can be expensive with the buying of a new outfit perhaps and travel and accommodation.

I think the amount spent on the gift is irrelevent and it really is up to personal circumstances.

( Now, do I ask for a share of the cash?)

quintwins

i don't give money, i nearly always buy giifts, also my sister can get me heavily reduced crystal so it looks more expensive than it is, even for our best friends we limit it to around £50, when we got married we didn't expect gifts to reflect the price of the meal ect we were grateful for whatever we received

PudseyDB

Geez - a lot of you are generous folks!!!!!!!!!

The last wedding I went to with just my eldest daughter (evening reception) I gave a £20 Born to Shop voucher. Before that, my partner's good friend got married and all 5 of us went to their reception and we gave them £50 in B&Q vouchers (as requested). So I guess it works out at £10 each from us.

I guess it depends partially on individual finances, as a family of 5 on lowish income we certainly wouldnt be able to pay £20 a head for the meal!

jonathank22

It's depends on budget of yours.But i personally recomend it should not more than £50...

Cupcaker

I would get a present rather than give money - like a really nice photo frame for about £20 - £30 - always useful for the wedding pics!

rexel

i think if you go to wedding your present should be small you have to pay for new outfit accomodation and a day of work it can work out a very costly without giving a present when you get invite you are afraid to open it maybe i am miserable :mad:

steveymp

I was invited to a wedding that took place last week, the invite asked for donations to one of two local charities instead of gifts, I thought this was a lovely idea :T:T:T

As a general rule I always went minimum £50 max £100 depending on how well we knew (liked:o) the couple. Close family always got a fridge freezer or washing machine or cooker depending on their needs, luckily I don't have much close family :rotfl:

drew2k9

shellsuit wrote: »

If it's polite to cover the cost of the meal, the next wedding I'm invited to, I'll take my own packed lunch.

People get invited to weddings as the bride and groom want them to share their day (or they should do!).

They shouldn't get invited so they can pick up the tab for the bride and grooms choice of food!


As for the bit I highlighted in bold ~ guests should feel free to go armed with a gift or not. It's not compulsory to go without a gift is it?

It's more rude to expect a gift IMO.

my point was less to do with people wanting gifts or money from guests and more about the fact that if someone invites you to a wedding, and the first thing you think of is "i don't really want to splash out for a gift" then maybe you aren't that close to them as you should be to actually be invited to a whole wedding day.

we are currently sorting out our wedding plans, and my wife to be and i are only inviting family and close friends, because thats who we want to share our day with. its up to them if they want to get us a gift or not, but i know if i was invited to any of their weddings i would be getting them something.

its a case of treat others as you would like to be treated. i would feel embarrased if i went to someones wedding, gave them £20 then they came to mine and gave four or five times that. yes it was my choice and their choice, but it wouldn't stop me feeling a bit wick.