New to the forum

time4achange_2

Hi

This is my first time of visiting the forums and I thought I would post to see if anyone could offer me any advice.

I have decided today that I am tired for being stressed and worried about money - my situation is totally self inflicted and I need to get a grip - I just could do with some help.

I guess I should not have money issues - I earn a good salary and have done so for ten years but the issue is I spent too much - I think I might have a shopping addiction and this even extends to internet shopping. My husband is not much better - we see something we like and we are not very good at saving for it - hence we have a credit card debt and overdrafts. we have wasted thousands on new cars, a huge wedding, re landscaping our garden and material items.

Its causing resentment within our marriage because we are both sick of never having cash and I am sick of supporting my husband - which is not the way that I should really think about it - but I do

So instead of rambling I should lay out the facts (scared but here goes).

I bring home £5,300 per month my husband £1,400. We have a £260,000 mortage which costs us £1,600 per month. I have £1,000 per month child care costs and then various other insurances, utilities, and travel costs. In all we should have excess income of over £2k per month - however we seem to have built up an overdraft of £3,000 and also a credit card bill of £1000.

To give you an idea of where we are going wrong we have commited to the following:

a holiday costing £1800 in the cotswolds
My husband is going on a stag weekend to Vegas which has cost £1,000 and he suggests he needs £2000 spending money.
Another stag weekend for my husband which will be abroad but we don't know how much.
Two weddings both of which involve buying clothes, presents and staying in hotels.
We will need to tax and insure both cars as well as service this year.

so I know we have no one to blame but ourselves but I could really appreciate some advice from anyone who has been in the situation where there spending habits are getting them in debt.

We have no savings and I am worried that if I lose my job we have no back up.

I am not looking for sympathy - I know there are hundreds of people worse off than me and its all my fault because of my stupid obsession with material goods but I do want to sort this out and clear my debts and get some savings behind me.

Would appreciate any advice you could offer.

x

krustylouise

Hi

Welcome {I'm new to this too, even though it says I joined 2 years ago I only properly started on the debt thing this month!} anyway, HI! You're definitely in the right place. If you fill in a SoA http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html this will then enable other members to help you discover where you're money is going and where it is better off spent.

Hope this helps!

Kirsty x

Hovel_lady

Hello and welcome
I'm fairly new to this as well.
Yes, do a SoA as suggested.
Doing a spending diary (both of you) will also be very helpful in working out exactly where your money is going.
My partner and I have debts mainly because we've overspent so you're not alone. It can happen to anyone regardless of income.
You're taking the first steps to sorting it out so be proud of yourself.
You don't owe vast sums of money so now's the time to get your finances sorted out.
It's all a bit scary to start with but so worth it for peace of mind.
Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? If you're going to sort this out you both need to do it. My partner and I always say - Stronger together.
Hope this is some help.
Do ask more questions if you like. And keep us updated.
Good luck & I'll keep an eye on this xx

time4achange_2

Thanks for your reply and advice - I have completed the SOA below.

I know that I have not added in the random spending - the £80 in Hobby craft - the £60 in asda, the pizza express lunch - the breakfast and lunch in the work canteen.



Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned.................... 2
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 5346.37
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1462.85
Benefits................................ 134.8
Other income............................ 252
Total monthly income.................... 7196.02
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1574
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 223
Electricity............................. 70
Gas..................................... 70
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 55
Telephone (land line)................... 60
Mobile phone............................ 125
TV Licence.............................. 13
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 32
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 500
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 350
Road tax................................ 30
Car Insurance........................... 95
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 47
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 205
Childcare/nursery....................... 1000
Other child related expenses............ 190
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 17
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 35
Buildings insurance..................... 25
Contents insurance...................... 5
Life assurance ......................... 22
Other insurance......................... 100
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 175
Haircuts................................ 50
Entertainment........................... 38
Holiday................................. 633
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 5739

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 325000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 17000
Other assets............................ 3000
Total Assets............................ 345000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 270000...(1574).....0
Total secured & HP debts...... 270000....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
credit card....................1000......5.........0
overdraft......................3000......0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........4000......5.........-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 7,196.02
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 5,739
Available for debt repayments........... 1,457.02
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 5
Amount left after debt repayments....... 1,452.02
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 345,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -270,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -4,000
Net Assets.............................. 71,000

time4achange_2

Thanks Hovel lady - the writing everything down seems like a fab idea.

I have talked to my husband so many times but I think we are both guilty of agreeing to stop spending and then we forget it when at the shops. I guess the idea is not to go shopping.

I am wondering about both of us having to text the other when we spend even a penny.

Might shame us into not spending.

Hovel_lady

Just had a very quick look at this as I need to walk the dog
In theory you have over £1400 unspent every month. If you want to pay off the debt quickly would suggest paying as much of the £1400 as you can to it. You "only" owe £4000 so should be possible to do in a few months even if it's slightly painful.
Have a serious talk with your husband about your finances, what you want to do with the money etc. My partner and I are also good at agreeing not to spend anything and then doing just that. Now, however we have stopped spending because we HAVE to. We owe £21k which will take 8 years to pay off :eek: so decided we had to tackle it once and for all. Going well so far.
The text thing might be worth a try. Or, just keep away from the shops. It's hard to start with but the first day you realise you haven't spent anything AT ALL is great!
We get the money we need out in cash. Concentrates the mind!
Emergencey savings are suggested at 3-6 months salary so that might be a good place to start.
Am sure somebody will be along with more ideas while I walk the dog
Back later! x

Hovel_lady

Is everyone out dog walking?
Some further ideas that may help.
Have you made sure you're getting the best deal on your gas/electric? If you haven't changed supplier recently can probably save some money.
When your house/car insurance etc are due for renewal shop round to make sure you get the best quote.
Loads of advice about this on this site.
Mobile phone is very high - can you get a better deal?
Do you spend £633 every month for holiday's or is this to fund the stag weekends?
If you want to reduce your grocery spend have a look at the old style thread on the forum.
Is your mortgage the best deal you can get? Don't know if you're on a fixed rate or not.
Something else. My partner and I have a small amount of "pocket money" each month that we can spend without comment from the other one. Anything else we spend has to agreed in ADVANCE.
Think I've ran out of ideas for now. Hope some of them are helpful to you.
Really, seriously get it sorted out now or you'll wake up in 5 years time wondering why you owe £40000 or whatever. Speaking from experience here!
Let us know how you get on xx

dark^knight

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. You are fortunate to have a relatively high income, and with a bit of discipline you should be able to pay off the debts.

I would recommend a spending diary, as this will allow you to analyse your spending and then you can reduce/eliminate non-essential spending.

Good luck!

Pollycat

Hi there
I think you've fallen into the trap of earning a lot of money = spending willy-nilly on whatever takes your fancy.

I've known lots of people in similar circumstances.
The good news is that it's usually easier for someone in your position to get out of debt than someone on the minimum wage.



Hovel Lady has highlighted a number of areas where you can save money, here's my input:

• water rates - are you on a meter? If not, is that an option? We pay (metered) just over £20 per month.
• Telephone/land line - what does this include? You can get packages including broadband much much cheaper than this. Are you sure you're on the right calling plan? Consider paying for a year line rental up front. Works out at £10 pm instead of £13.70 pm. You can also get free UK landline calls 24 x 7 for £4.70 (I think) per month.
• Hair - £12.50 per month average for 2 adults & 2 kids seems high. Maybe drop appointments back from every month to every 6 weeks, or 6 weeks to 8.
• £7600 per year on holidays? :eek: I'll leave you to decide if that's worth it.
• Groceries - very high - but I guess you maybe shop at expensive places and feel that, with your income, why shouldn't you eat well.

There's nothing wrong with that but if you really want to sort your finances out and maybe start investing in the future (instead of lining your bank's pockets by paying for your overdraft), you could easily (and probably without much pain) cut at least 25% off that by changing your shopping/eating habits.

Meal plan - decide what you're going to eat in advance, buy what you need e.g. don't buy a single green pepper for £1, buy a value bag and use in several dishes (tuna risotto, pasta, sausage casserole etc).
Do you throw lots of stuff away as it's 'gone off'? Don't buy it unless you know you're going to use it.

Cook in bulk - do a big batch of chilli, bolognese sauce etc & freeze it.

Instead of buying premium brands, buy shops' own.
If you buy shops' own, buy value.
Try it, if you can't tell the difference, stick to it. If you don't like it, move back up.
There's some things I won't compromise on - toilet rolls, coffee, tea.

Take advantage of bogof/half price offers. You have the spare cash and probably space to store it. Stock up on tins of tomatoes, tins of tuna, toilet rolls, washpowder, coffee etc. There's always something on offer.

Good luck

dancingfairy

Hi - you can afford some nice things, just not everything you want all the time . The more people earn the more I think their expectation rise similarly so you are always spending at or just over the amount you are earning - I think it's probably quite common Also rich people are always people richer than you - if you see people with the nicer cars, having the nicer holidays then they are either a lot richer than you, manage their money very carefully (ie scrimp and save on things the outside world can't see, or are actually up to their necks in credit card debt).
Is there something you want that you could set as a savings target to motivate you? As a very small example you could say for every 200 pounds we pay off our debt we will treat ourselves to a meal out, for every x grand we pay off the mortgage we will treat ourselves to small holiday - ie set long term goals but with little treats built in.
Best of Luck
df

pmlindyloo

Hi and welcome

Your post reminded me of another thread from someone who had a good income and had similar problems - it is very inspirational!

You may want to have a read.

Here's the link:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3255436=