what to do when debt = death!!

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

People in debt are still "people", I have an auntie (61yrs) critically ill in hospital as a direct result of trying to overdose on paracetomal and screwing up her kidneys in the process, because of the guilt and shame of her(secret) debt and the constant telephone calls from the people she borrowed from. It seems that her debt over a number of years has snowballed to about 20k following an accident a few years ago, when she had to give up work. Her husband, having taking out a loan (on the advice of the lender!!) to repay some of the debt, that he realistically cannot afford to repay and selling his car, has now had a nervous breakdown and has been admitted to the psychiatric unit and their children are now being harrassed by the lenders instead, I've tried to advise them about cccs, payplan etc but it seems they are at a loss as to know what to do and the lenders are very keen for the kids to take on these debts. I'm not looking for advice here, but looking to vent my anger and upset that money is infinately more important than life these days.
We take responsibility for our debt, we take the responsibility to repay and when we can't and try to negotiate who takes the responsibility for putting pressure on us to increase the debts with consolidation, credit limit increases etc and when those options run out who will take responsibility for increasing the repayment pressure until faced with an endless black hole the person under pressure feels death is the only option. Death is not an easy option but who will ultimately take responsiblity when they choose DEATH!
To those of you fortunate enough never to experience the real terror and shame of being in debt and not being able to repay I say congratulations and genuinely good for you but please, please don't tar us all with the same brush, we are still people and remember the shame and despair of debt can and often does result in death.
Sorry this has been a ramble but I am upset and finding it difficult to get my point accross, however on a lighter note perhaps the we could have government health warnings in banks/financial orginisations similar to those on cigaretees ie: WARNING DEBT KILLS!!

sheryldoc

Jesus thats awfull!

Hope to god they r ok..x

sheryldoc

double post.x

seven-day-weekend

I'm so sorry for your aunt and uncle.

There will be a way out of the debt; and a way to stop the creditors hassling.

Someone will be along soon who knows more than me.

Don't worry, it CAN get sorted.

Toto

Suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem. Nothing is worth losing your life over, especially not money.

I really do hope your family will be ok and they find some help so they can move on. When your auntie recovers, try to encourage her to talk to us here, we will show her there is no shame in owing money, it happens to the best of us, sometimes for the best of reasons. My heart goes out to her and you all.

Broken_hearted

If you really want to vent stand by the phone and wait for the DCA or lenders to phone back. Then when they demand children pay their parents debt vent at will. I'm lucky I hit rock bottom and came back twice as strong (still some bad days). Others arn't so lucky their world crashes. It's so true DEBT KILLS.

pixie1

I totally sympathise (SP) about this situation, i did something very stupid Jan of last year before i found the DFW board which enabled me to get the help i needed to get myself back on track.

My sincere best wishes to you and your family.

Pixie

livinginhope

Oh that's a very sad story,trouble is I know exactly how she feels.I too came very close to suicide about Feb time,I was standing with morphine,codeine and paracetamol,loads of it ready to take,don't know what came over me,but I had the sense to call my GP,he came straight out and talked me round,I was without pain relief for a month as the GP said that I couldn't be trusted,he wanted me sectioned,but I convinced him that I wouldn't be so stupid again.I found this site and the rest is history.
We had a call from MBNA a week after my 'attempt' and my husband told them what I had been driven to,they just asked if my life was insured,just what he needed to hear!!
I really hope your aunt can get things sorted,life is a gift and we need to cherish it,help her all you can with the debts and make her feel she has a life to live.
Best wishes
LIH

pudding06

I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt and uncle.
Unfortunately it seems we are just a name and number to those who harrass us. I recently had a bereavement, and mbna rang twice in one day despite me telling them we'd had a bereavement during the night. I ended up shouting at the person, because he didnt understand what bereavement was - and just kept saying so when can I ring back it cant be a bad time to talk all day- i'll call back tomorrow or the next day etc. He hasnt rang back since though.

Its so difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes, and it can seem that death is the only way out. I wish they'd found this site - because its the support of those on here which can make the difference between having the strength to carry on and not.

take care

pudds

immoral_angeluk

That's such a sad story. I think it's disgusting that even after everything the creditors are only thinking of lining their own pockets. Says it all really.

Pobby

Also would like to add my good wishes to your aunt and her family.Sadly we are hearing more and more stories like this.Debt is a difficult issue in these days of low inflation.People of my age enjoyed seeing our debt more or less wiped because of high inflation.

Can`t really work out that when I was a child Dad went to work and took home enough money to support his family now often a joint income is not enough.