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Getting out of control

nicola_uk
Posts: 7 Forumite
My debts just seem to be getting worse and worse as the years go on
I know I need to do something about it but Im finding it very hard. Especially when friends and family dont struggle in the same way. For example, I have three holidays planned for this year! Two Im not paying for the actual holiday but do need spending money etc, and the other, I did pay for, but couldnt convince myself to say no.
I know Im completely useless.
What also doesnt help is that I have a bit of a shopping problem. This has been the biggest thing. I cant seem to go into a shop without spending. Usually on things I dont even want or need :mad:
Ive done well this last week, as Ive stayed clear of all shops, and when I have HAD to go (eg ran out of milk or bread) Ive left my cards in the house and only taken the money I need.
I have also been listing alot of things on eBay.
However, I know for a fact that in a few weeks time, I wont be able to help myself anymore, and will end up spending

I know Im completely useless.
What also doesnt help is that I have a bit of a shopping problem. This has been the biggest thing. I cant seem to go into a shop without spending. Usually on things I dont even want or need :mad:
Ive done well this last week, as Ive stayed clear of all shops, and when I have HAD to go (eg ran out of milk or bread) Ive left my cards in the house and only taken the money I need.
I have also been listing alot of things on eBay.
However, I know for a fact that in a few weeks time, I wont be able to help myself anymore, and will end up spending

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Comments
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My debts just seem to be getting worse and worse as the years go on
I know I need to do something about it but Im finding it very hard. Especially when friends and family dont struggle in the same way. For example, I have three holidays planned for this year! Two Im not paying for the actual holiday but do need spending money etc, and the other, I did pay for, but couldnt convince myself to say no.
I know Im completely useless.
What also doesnt help is that I have a bit of a shopping problem. This has been the biggest thing. I cant seem to go into a shop without spending. Usually on things I dont even want or need :mad:
Ive done well this last week, as Ive stayed clear of all shops, and when I have HAD to go (eg ran out of milk or bread) Ive left my cards in the house and only taken the money I need.
I have also been listing alot of things on eBay.
However, I know for a fact that in a few weeks time, I wont be able to help myself anymore, and will end up spending
Well it certainly sounds like you realise you need to make some changes, albeit not necessarily as many as you realise.
You really need to deal with that shopping habit, and take back control. Have you done an SoA yet? That would give you a proper understanding of where your true finances lie, and it can be a bit of an eye opener.
In terms of family - that can be tricky, but you need to be more firm with yourself and them. Blame work, blame time, blame money, blame anything, but 3 holidays a year is excessive unless you have something of a lavish income (and it doesn't sound like you do), even if you're only actually paying for one of them.
To put it into perspective, I have a great job, very little debt, very few outgoings really, and haven't had a holiday in 2 years simply because I wanted to target all of my debts first. When I do go on holiday rest assured I will have earned it! And I shall have saved for it too, rather than put it on a credit card!
My wife has a good habit with clothes/etc which is she will make an impulse purchase if it is for a total of £20 or less, but anything more than that, she thinks about for 48 hours before going back and buying it. Seems to work well for her, she tends to only spend on things that she really really wants.
I started having to do the same for my little 'computer game' habit, where I would go and buy random games just out of boredom, not thinking that it was burning through about £100 a month, so now I resist buying *any* computer game until I've read at least 4 reviews. By the end of that I tend to not want it anyway haha.
Good luck, I hope you do have a lightbulb moment soon.Debt free, moved, got new stuff for the new flat - got everything I wanted and need - now just saving.0 -
HI Nicola,
Well done for facing up to this.
Can you:
1 - cut up some credit cards so you can no longer spend on them?
2 - put a credit card in a plastic bag, then put it in a box of water and freeze it so you could thaw it out in an emergency but couldn't hand it over in a shop?
3 - work out a budget - take your annual bills/12, work out from your bank statements or a spending diary how much you spend on food, petrol etc and then give yourself a small spending allowance. Take it out in cash and when it's gone, it's gone. Might be easier than no spending at all?
4 - go into the shops less often but do other things instead to fill your time and give you a sense of pleasure - for example go to the library, join a voluntary activity of some kind -Red Cross/St John's Ambulance/St Andrews, outdoor conservation, brownies/scouts/guide leaders, volunteering at an older people's day centre, lots of choices really?
Hope some of this gives you ideas. You can change your situation - look at the diaries here and see what other people have done to get their debts and life under control.
All the best.Debt at highest: £8k. Debt Free 31/12/2009. Original MFD May 2036, MF Dec 2018.0 -
In regards to working out a small budget...
Incomings (aprrox):
£700 wages
£80 CB
Essential outgoings:
Loan: £190
B/C: £150 approx
M/C: £40 approx
Gym: £28 (Have cancelled, last payment this month)
Mobile phone / internet: approx £35 (Tied into mobile for another year)
Other loan - £100 per month (can actually lower this later this year to £50 per month if desperately needed as I actually put the payments up)
Bank charges (account / overdraft interest) - £30
Petrol - Not totally sure, but my partner worked out that I should be able to cope on £35 per week if I dont use it for another other than work / taking child to childcare etc. So will say at least £150 per month.
On top of that I do also need to contribute to food shopping, and I have quite a large overdraft I need to clear. Obviously the things Ive listed are min payments other than the other loan (but not able to change it back until later in the year), so idealy should be paying more.
But aghh I dont even know where to start.
As for going to the shops less... I feel like everything costs these days when leaving the house. Stuff like volenteering isnt really possible as I wouldnt want to leave my toddler to do something like that. I do have plenty of hobbies to do when in the house, but the temptation of wanting something new to make me feel happier is huge!
I know another thing that too much of my money goes on is take aways and eating outAlso the reason for my weight gain! Oops! Haha. It has been 9 days since my last take away though which Im proud of.
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I forgot, I only actually added monthly essential outgoings. There is also of course yearly car costs (luckily I dont pay my insurance) such are tax, MOT and problems. And also kids clothes etc as well which I have to contribute towards.0
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Hi,
I am a bit like you. I like spending money and I like buying things - I will find any excuse possible to buy something. The only way that I can control this is to keep accurate records of my finances. Seeing it all in black at white makes me less likely to go out and spend money I havent got.
At the beginning of the month I set my budget for the month. I work out whats coming in, what has to be paid out and how much I have got left.
Every day I check my online banking. If I go out and buy anything in cash I write it in a notebook.
Once a week I update my spreadsheet showing balance bfwd, income, expenditure and balance cfwd.
Once a month I do a monthly spreadsheet analysing all my income and expenditure for the month and the balance at the end. I can then compare this with my budget to see if I am on track. I also record my total debts brought forward, repayments, spending, interest and the amount carried forward.
It does take a bit of time to do this but it really helps me. I used to spend time on shopping websites but now I spend time on here and also spend quite a bit of time managing my finances. This can become as addictive as shopping!
As far as holidays go - I have just spent a few days away visiting family on what should have been a "free" holiday and I actually spent far more than I should. Next time we go away I am going to have a spending allowance and keep track of how much I am spending!
I have realised that the reason I got into debt was because I was living the lifestyle I wanted and thought I deserved - rather than the lifestyle I could actually afford. This is a hard lesson to learn but now I feel happier knowing I am living within my means and working very slowly towards clearing the debts.
Good luck with it.0 -
Keep a spending diary detailing EVERY penny you spend.
You will soon see where you are frittering money away.Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.0
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