Lent to Family - Advice needed!

BiltonBabe

I hope to get the money back eventually as obviously it will cause a lot of friction in the family if there is a problem with paying.

But I understand what is being said - I do believe that they will do it again, but this is there only chance with me - I will not bale them out again. It is complicated as these situations usually are but I think I have given them the benefit of the doubt and it is up to them now.

Although the temptation to look at their lifestyle and comment is huge :cool:

I think one half of the couple has had a lightbulb moment but the other half thinks it will all sort itself out without any change in lifestyle from them (the usual story I guess).

Apples2

I have people in my family I will not lend to. Not only do I know I won't get it back, I know the money is traditionally used for holidays or garden ornaments!

Others in my family I will lend to without expecting it back again (ergo, give to).

The last time I gave money to them to pay off a large utility bill, I later discovered the money they originally had for the utility bill, they no longer had as they had given it to the other member.... who spent it on a "well deserved holiday to Greece as they had been working so hard!!" so they were left without... aarrggghhh!!

sharnad

when you lent the money to them did you give them a time when they had to give the money back by

andyt999

I lent a considerable sum of dosh to my Dad and then the day after he told me that he wasn't my real Dad and that the money wouldn't be coming back as you can imagine I was devastated but then my uncle came round and said that he was my real dad and he had loads of money so he gave me a suitcase full of songs and an old guitar which is rhyming slang for 50 grand.

RichGold

andyt999 wrote: »

I lent a considerable sum of dosh to my Dad and then the day after he told me that he wasn't my real Dad and that the money wouldn't be coming back as you can imagine I was devastated but then my uncle came round and said that he was my real dad and he had loads of money so he gave me a suitcase full of songs and an old guitar which is rhyming slang for 50 grand.

Been watching too much Eastenders.

BiltonBabe

I asked that I would get it back within a year as I will need the money myself to move house.

The plan is that they get themselves straight then they raise a loan on there own and pay me back. I think there credit rating is ok as they have not missed payments on anything so am hopeful they will be able to secure the money elsewhere in the future.

Gra76

I've borrowed a 'not insignificant' sum of cash from the 'bank of Mum', as has my brother. Both similar amounts. Mine was £4k, my brother borrowed slightly more.

The difference was that my brother said he'd give it back when he could afford to and I set up a set number of standing orders.

Nearly 2 and a half years down the line I'm 8 more payments from finishing the run of standing orders. My Mum knows she's getting the money every month and she's not mentioned it once since lending it to me.

My brother on the other hand paid one small lump sum to my Mum shortly after borrowing the money and now says he's not paying it back till he has the rest of the money saved.

Going by his lifestyle and his recently increased outgoings due to a new addition to his family it's not looking like my Mum will be seeing the money anytime in the next few years. At one point last year they stopped speaking to each other altogether because of this. Quite rightly my Mum wants some money from him but he's so pig-headed and selfish he now thinks if he ignores it long enough she'll leave him alone.

So my advice is this - whenever you give money to family members or friends, set up a payment schedule in advance. Make sure you're happy with it or don't lend the money in the first place. If it's someone you trust 100% then it's up to you whether or not you get them to sign any documentation, if you trust them any less than 100% make sure you have something in place just incase things go downhill.

BiltonBabe

Thanks for your reply Gra76, the sum involved is £25,000 so obviously I am anxious as to the outcome. They said they would organise the repayments but have not mentioned a figure yet! I think they are hoping to get some finance sorted for themselves and then pay me back (I hope) I have downloaded the form that was mentioned earlier on in this thread and will be asking them to sign this as soon as possible.

I understand what you mean about it all causing problems etc etc and this is what I want to avoid as other members of the family are not aware of what is going on and if there was any falling out would want to know what was causing it!

paddyrg

BiltonBabe wrote: »

I asked that I would get it back within a year as I will need the money myself to move house.

The plan is that they get themselves straight then they raise a loan on there own and pay me back. I think there credit rating is ok as they have not missed payments on anything so am hopeful they will be able to secure the money elsewhere in the future.

I don't mean to sound like a meanie, but unless you have fixed dates and amounts, this is likely to ride... Have the short, earnest discussion now, it will only get harder with time.

dealer_wins

andyt999 wrote: »

I lent a considerable sum of dosh to my Dad and then the day after he told me that he wasn't my real Dad and that the money wouldn't be coming back as you can imagine I was devastated but then my uncle came round and said that he was my real dad and he had loads of money so he gave me a suitcase full of songs and an old guitar which is rhyming slang for 50 grand.

I want some of what you are smoking!!!