To rent, or to buy? (with quite a twist in the tail ...)

Tirian

Ok, so this is a complicated one ... hope you're ready to wrap your brain around this scenario.

My wife and I married last summer, however I work in London and she in Birmingham. She owns a house there, but also has a flat in London which she was unable to sell when she got her job in Birmingham some years back - and so rented out. So far so good - once we got married, we gave notice to the tenant and since then I have stayed there in the week and gone back to Brum at weekends.

Fast forward to now ... having tried for a couple of years to find a suitable job in Birmingham without success (booo! ) I was recently headhunted for a much better job in London (hurrah! :j). Not wishing to look a gift horse in the mouth, I accepted and we now have a little bit of a dilemma.

Namely, we are thoroughly fed up with living apart - and moreover, we're having a baby in November (very excited!). We've decided to move to Banbury (commutable for both of us) and have had the London flat on the market for a few months - lots of viewings, no offers. We're changing estate agents next week in the hope of getting some fresh energy into the marketing etc.

However, as time creeps by we're going to have to make a decision about what to do one way or another - rent or buy in Banbury. On my new salary I should be able to get a mortgage of £190 - £200k. We have around £25k available for deposit and expenses, and are currently saving £500 a month, going up to £1500 a month once I start my new job in July (you see why I couldn't say no .... )

So here's the pros and cons.

Renting. Pros are no need to commit to an unknown area/school etc - we don't know Banbury at all. If we rent furnished, much less hassle moving - which, given change of job and baby on the way at same time, is a major attraction.

Cons - unreliable. Could end up with dodgy landlord, have property sold from under our feet if owner is only renting it while they can't sell (all of which we have experienced before). Likely to be liable for Stamp Duty when we do ultimately buy.

Buying. Pros are, can save on Stamp duty if we buy before March 2012 (I have no property in my name and have never owned before, so would qualify for FTB relief if we buy in my name). Stability of owning rather than renting. Mortgage payments potentially cheaper than rent. Staggering the buying/selling process would mean that we could be a chain end at each stage. And once the flat/house sell then we could then plough the money back into the place where we would live.

Cons - owning three properties a major risk (essentially putting much of our resources into property at a fairly uncertain time). Although we would rent out one or both, and would ultimately look to sell at least the London flat, it's still potentially hairy. Also, if we do rent out then there's the additional burden of landlord responsibilities (and having both been renters for many years, we're not inclined to take that lightly).


So .... anyone got any sage advice in these circumstances? I would hasten to add that we have no long term desire to own more than one property. It's just the way life has panned out for us that has left us in this position. We're not interesting in keeping properties as 'investments' or any of that malarky.

As priorities go, our priority no. 1 is to live in the same place. No.2 is to own the house that we live in. No.3 is to own no other property.

PasturesNew

Rent in Banbury for a year until you know what's going on with the other properties. I'd think it unlikely you'd get a fully furnished family house though, they tend to be either top of the range serviced places at a fortune, or studio flats. Most things in between are unfurnished.

Tirian

Forgot to say ... if anyone can advise on where to live/not to live in Banbury, would be much appreciated. We will need to be within around 1 mile (15 mins walk) from the station since we'll both have a fairly sizeable commute. So the nearer the better really.

Seanymph

I don't know what your wife will intend for childcare (and this is not the board for it I know!) but having had two before I gave up work to be at home I feel I should say something.

Your wife will have enormous responsibilities added to her life with the arrival of your child. I'm not sexist, just old and that life experience (all five of ours are teens now) tells me that if the childcare lets you both down, if a child is ill and can't go to daycare, if the nanny is caught drunk when you return home, or the au pair quits after two weeks, or her mother who is living with you has a health scare........ it will be your wife who has to pick up the childcare pieces.

For you both to be 'a long commute' from home when the nursery calls to say littley has to be picked up immediately because he/she is vomiting isn't workable. Nor is commuting with a child. I have done that. I have woken sleeping babies and toddlers, forcing breakfast into them as they fall asleep on the table and piling them into a car to drop them at day care at 8am and dashing back to pick them up at 6 with them falling asleep on the way home and not being able to feed them at bedtime.

It's soul destroying, and ultimately marriage destroying.

What seems 'fair' at the moment - an equal distance for you both to travel - will not be 'fair' once she is a new mum with all the stress, responsibility, and pressures that has.

For me 'rent or buy' doesn't come into it. She needs to live next to where she works, or leave her job and you both live near yours.

She will be crippled with exhaustion for a couple of years - I don't know of one mum I've spent time with over the years who would have chosen a long commute. And the only ones I have met who do have husbands who don't work.

To stick to the topic (if I must) - rent. Otherwise you may find yourselves tied to yet another location and yet another property that you can't sell. I suspect you will want to revisit the location wihtint he next year or so.

Congratulations - it's not as awful as it sounds, and I wouldn't be without mine for anything, but it's hard. Anything that makes it harder needs avoiding if at all possible.

Annisele

Agree 100% with Seanymph.

No matter how earnestly couples plan to share responsibilities for the children, usually one of them ends up with primary responsibility for the childcare. I also have no wish to be sexist - but I'd hazard a guess that that isn't going to be the person that's just got a massive pay rise. I really can't see the "equal commute" plan turning out to be fair in real life.

Presumably your wife will be on maternity leave for some period - can't you all live in the London flat for a while, and postpone your decision until after you know how banjaxed you're both going to be with a baby?

But if you're sure about Banbury, I'd go with renting. Firstly because it may turn out you don't want to live in Banbury after all. Secondly (and bearing in mind I'm biased as a would-be FTB) I think prices are likely to fall in real terms over the next few years, and owning three properties strikes me as seriously overexposed.

If your London flat has had lots of viewings but no offers, it's very likely that its overpriced. If you're feeling brave (and thick skinned) you can post a Rightmove link and somebody might come up with something helpful.

Wyndham

If you don't know the area, rent first then get to know it. You could buy, find you've made a mistake, and regret it. Renting gives you space and time to get your bearings.

Good luck.

neverdespairgirl

Seanymph wrote: »

What seems 'fair' at the moment - an equal distance for you both to travel - will not be 'fair' once she is a new mum with all the stress, responsibility, and pressures that has.

This all sounds very true to me, I'd completely agree with the OP. I only have one child, a 5 year old son, and the idea of commuting that distance when he was a baby fills me with horror. Actually, it fills me with horror now, when he's 5.

Even if you do equal shares with childcare responsibility once the child is older, there is more pressure on a new mother, physically and emotionally, than on a new father. Just being that distance away from the baby every day might well be very distressing for your wife.

tom9980

Has the wife looked for a job in London? is this possible?

westlondonbuyer

Whilst your wife is on maternity leave, live in the London flat. You know it and the local area, it's furnished and ready to inhabit - all of which will minimise the stress of a new job and a new baby. Your flat may be small but it's perfectly possible to live in a flat with a young baby - as millions of Parisians, Romans, Milanese and New Yorkers would confirm.

You'll just need a sling and a carry car seat rather than a pram, and do the bulk of your grocery/nappy shopping at Ocado (perfect for flat dwellers because their terms are 'delivery to the kitchen' not the door). You can keep the baby's cot in the sitting room. It won't get you any style points amongst the Homes & Gardens crowd, but it'll make your life a whole lot easier and buy you around 18 months of decision time.

Rosemary7391

Tirian wrote: »

Forgot to say ... if anyone can advise on where to live/not to live in Banbury, would be much appreciated. We will need to be within around 1 mile (15 mins walk) from the station since we'll both have a fairly sizeable commute. So the nearer the better really.

If I was aiming for within 15 mins of the station, I'd go for Cherwell heights (all the roads leading off bankside) - one end of it is a bit less than 10 mins walk from the station, or hightown road/roads leading off that - bearing in mind it'll be an uphill walk back home at the end of the day! Sometimes the maps can be a bit misleading regarding how long it takes to walk places - there are a lot of alleyways etc that can make walking much quicker. PM me if you want more info

Tirian

Thanks to all - very useful thoughts all round. Responding to a few points - I was quite willing to take a career break and be house-dad, but she was less keen on that, otherwise I would have just moved to Brum. The question of who takes time off for childcare is indeed a complicated one ... even with my pay rise, I'll be earning at most £4k more than her so it's not a complete no brainer.

My wife can't really look for a job in London - she's an academic, and it's not exactly a fluid job market at the best times. The advantage is that her work is somewhat flexible - she won't have to be in Birmingham every day of the week. The research side, for instance can be just as easily done at home, or in Oxford for example.

While the commute for me will be longer, it won't actually be drastically longer. It takes an hour door to door from Lewisham to my workplace. Banbury to Marylebone is 50 mins, so door to door I'd be looking at 75-90 mins depending on how close to the station we are.

The long commute, unfortunately, is not really avoidable unless one of us gives up our job - and we're not ready to do that at the moment. I had two interviews in Birmingham, for lower level jobs, and got neither.

We're aware that it will be difficult, but given how fortunate we are to both have jobs, and good jobs at that, I'm not going to start whinging about a commute that would be pretty standard, for example, in the US.