Serious advice needed - re family debt

DramaQueen29

OK my Dad has run up more debt after him and my mum got thier first mortgage at the age of 58! after owning the house for 27ish years.
This was taken out to cover some credit card debt and new cars.

However my mum apparently doesnt know about this extra cc debt on top, and my dads told myself and my fiance but asked us not to tell her! as she couldnt cope with it.

Now my fiance is stressing out at me saying i should tell her as otherwise Im keeping the lie too, ive told him under no circumstances should he tell her ( the relationship between them is just getting good - it never was)

I get where hes coming from but at the same time I am positive it is going to make me out to be the bad guy and my dad will cover up again and Ill loose my parents into the bargain. Just lately my mums stuck up for my dad whether Im right or not over other stuff so really i dont think its a good idea.

But my fiance is adamant that i have to tell them otherwise it means Id probably keep secrets like that from him too!!

However - knowing about my parents situation is very stressful as i just dont know what to do for the best, now Im getting pressure from else where to do something Im not sure is right plus i have the pressure of our own debts mounting.:eek:

Any suggestions apart from changing my name and running off to Outer Mongolia!?!

bonnie_2

To be honest, i would leave well alone, what other people do is up to them and none of our buisness.
You could always buy him a copy of martins book for xmas.

DramaQueen29

Hahaha! might just do that, I agree with you but im feeling forced by my other 1/2 to do something i cant seem to convince him it wouldnt be right fro me to stick my nose in to that extent

elona

Why not say that you know your parents better than he does and he does not believe you or trust your judgement then tell her himself.

The deceit is your Dad's not yours and it is very unfair that it is affecting your relationship.

skintchick

I'm with elona - I don;t think it's your place to tell your mum. It's for your dad to do so. Your job is to support your dad and be there for him. I'd encourage him to be open with her, but without knowing all the circumstances I can;t comment more.

(((hugs)))

your fiance is being unfair - you're not lying, you are keeping a confidence. THat's different.