What made you spend?

KittyKate

I have a friend who is seriously in debt - about 30k on cards/consolidation loan and she earns 19k a year. I'm past nagging her to stop spending, she's a great girl, but she doesn't make sense to me!

So skint is she, she's phoned Debenhams (she had paid off her store card with the consolidation loan and cut the card up but not closed the account!!?) and asked for a new card, just to buy Xmas presents on. Debenhams is far from cheap and she's bought loads of 'treats' for herself (£5 bars of chocolate, clothes, mp3 player etc) along with overpriced presents and 'treats' for the people she works with like chocolates, buns etc. In less than a month she's added almost £1000 to her debt. She sees the store card as a license to spend spend spend! She would never dream of borrowing from me or her mates but despite us offering to help her with her finances she continues to go out drinking, wearing broken shoes and missing her minimum payments!

What makes people spend like this, living on the edge of bankruptcy? What made you spend the way you did - circumstance, greed, depression? What do you think made you have that 'lightbulb moment' and when do you think it will hit my friend? It's long overdue!

Willsnarf1983

there have been many many many threads on why people spend but for ur friend she won't realise untill she gets to her last legs credit wise

Will

themaccas

Well I think greed is a bit strong! Certainly there was a bit of 'I want it now' and circumstances, not budgeting properly when I when retrained in a different career for 3 years. However our stories are all different on here, debt is a very personal thing and you can't ever force someone to have a lightbulb moment. I know it's difficult but you just need to stand back though have you tried getting her to come on here - tell her she will be made very welcome!

lilac_lady

I think it's an illness, just like drinking too much. There's nothing you can do to get her out of her mindset. She'll spend until she can't get more credit. You can be there for her but she won't hink that she's got a problem till she gets (hopefully) her "lightbulb" moment.

whatatwit

whilst ever she manages to make the payments, it won't happen.
I suppose that by taking out a consolidation loan, she had a mini lightbulb moment.
Probably getting refused a new card or loan may trigger that *ping*

clarab_3

I dont think its relevant to your friend but in my case it was that I was starting a new job - full of contractors and consultants and I was expected to keep up - you cant afford to not get your round in, or to not have 2 or 3 'good' suits etc...

Another thing i think affects particularly younger people is that you generally come out of uni £15k in debt. The number is so astronomical, and then you need work clothes... a home... furniture... in your new adult life. I certainly couldnt have lived at home as my parents live 100 miles from anywhere i might be likely to get a job.

It really doesnt take much.

Toomuchdebt

In my case it was loneliness and depression-spending was a way of cheering myself up.It worked-but only temporarily.

System

Wanting it now, keeping up with the Jones and trying to keep our lass happy - or what i thought was required to keep her happy.

Toomuchdebt

lenny-don't know if you've noticed but in your sig you've spelt "account" wrong and made it look a bit rude-lol

oops_a_daisy

the voices in my head told me to do it

beanielou

Toomuchdebt wrote:

lenny-don't know if you've noticed but in your sig you've spelt "account" wrong and made it look a bit rude-lol

Hadent noticed that!!
Just a wee bit rude!!