Massive urge for a BLOW OUT...... HELP

smithers1981

hi ive just managed to kinda sort my debts out..... having balance transferred 12k to 0% for 17/18 months respectively, so finally my minimum payments are starting to dent my oustanding balances,

I also have a 10k loan with approx 19 months left and 3200 left outstanding.

Now that i can see some flicker of candle light in the tunnel, i am finding it increasingly difficult to resist the urge for a splurge.

Due to the balance transfers i have two 'empty' credit cards with 8700 and 5400 limits.

I went to currys the other day and ws really tempted to have a blow out all those shiny new tvs and cameras but managed to reist, my wardrobe is also looking threadbare, and im finding it very difficult not to just think 'sod it' lets go on a spree.

Do other people have same thouhgt processes and if you do what are best ways of coping and resisting?

Im thinking maybe i should cancel my highest credit card, but still want some available credit just in case car goes bang or house falls down:D

jintyb

smithers1981 wrote: »

hi ive just managed to kinda sort my debts out..... having balance transferred 12k to 0% for 17/18 months respectively, so finally my minimum payments are starting to dent my oustanding balances,

I also have a 10k loan with approx 19 months left and 3200 left outstanding.

Now that i can see some flicker of candle light in the tunnel, i am finding it increasingly difficult to resist the urge for a splurge.

Due to the balance transfers i have two 'empty' credit cards with 8700 and 5400 limits.

I went to currys the other day and ws really tempted to have a blow out all those shiny new tvs and cameras but managed to reist, my wardrobe is also looking threadbare, and im finding it very difficult not to just think 'sod it' lets go on a spree.

Do other people have same thouhgt processes and if you do what are best ways of coping and resisting?

Im thinking maybe i should cancel my highest credit card, but still want some available credit just in case car goes bang or house falls down:D

Hi, Dont give in to " short-term gain for long term pain"
I spent many years feeling like you and giving in to the "splurge" mentality and I ended up with @ £80k in debt. They are not " empty" cards - they are potential debt traps. I am gradually getting myself sorted and I can assure you that the best feeling in the world is buying something whether large or small and knowing it is paid for" properly" IYSWIM.
I would cancel the credit card with the high limit, keep one for emergencies but lower the limit on it.
HTH

kapowuk

Hi,

When you feel like spending money you don't have, try to remember that horrible feeling when you added it all up and realised just how much you are in debt.

This horrible feeling is all to easily masked by the good feeling you get when you get a 0% card and when you are 'sorting out' your debts or getting close to the end of a loan etc etc

I forgot about that horrible feeling and ended up racking up more and more debt... now I never forget it.

Well done for getting so far in repaying your debts, keep it going!!!

anh1904

Smithers1981 - I am not convinced you have had your lightbuld moment.

Spend now and repay later is a life choice, one which those who have trodden the path before would almost unanimously urge you to consider very very carefully before taking it.

Your debt pile is not significant at the moment, but could very quickly become so if you decide the urge to splurge is sufficiently strong to re-max your zero balance cards.

Debt is very expensive, not just in financial terms, it can cost you your social life, your partner(s) and your self respect.

Choose carefully, whichever way you decide.

Butti

Hi Smithers,
Why do you have two empty credit cards? If you want to do a few things to help you resist;

1. Reduce the limits on the two cards - realistically unless the roof blows off you probably need about £300 quid available for emergencies like the exhaust going or a leak in the bathroom. Home decorating can wait a few years.

2. Think about things that make you feel good - so for me, a cup of tea, a bubble bath, a massage. If need be plan a bit of budget for that. You do not need another TV until yours goes bang and then you have your £300 available.

3. Where are your cards right now? In your wallet? WRONG! They should either preferably be in two bits in a secure box somewhere in the house or alternatively in a mug of water in the freezer. At least this way you buy yourself some time to think.

4. Clothes - what do you really need? It's 6 years since I had an interview and I've been a student for a year. Realistically I could go out and buy blouses, suits, shoes. I just haven't got the money. I bought a white blouse for £16 with a christmas voucher last week and am currently looking at work trousers in Tesco/Sainsburys/Asda for between £5 and £12. Everything else will have to wait until I am earning.

If need be decide a budget and spread it out. Really think about whether you 'need' it and whether you can 'afford' it. Oxfam are currently taking a lot of M&S clothes so maybe also look in there.

Finally focus on which debt you are knocking down most first and keep a chart of that and overall.

Good luck,
B x

ElmerFudd

Hi Smithers. I try to resist the urge to spend every day. I think about how much of a hole I am in and how even the smallest spend could potentially drive me further into debt. I think about the credit card companies and how much they could get from me if I spent anything and then I think how much I want that money going to me than go to the credit card companies.
Good luck resisting

smithers1981

thanks for advice in my head i know all this makes sense, i am going to cancel credit card with the larger limit today. not sure im strong enough to lower limit on other card yet but will refrain from carrying said card around with me.

i have taken to cleaning the car/decluttering my house in times of reaal urge, anyone got other 'free/very cheap, pasttimes, i work 12 hour shifts, which gives me a lot of days off/ and i have a 2 year old to entertain (when im off my missis is at work and visa versa) so just me and daughter, as a bloke havent guts to join a mother and baby group

i find the combination of days off and 2year old to entertain can be expensive

Firewalker

This is a problem - you know in your head but you have to know in your heart and your mind. What I mean is that resisting is pointless; it is like trying to resist temptation - eventually it will get you. Why don't you try and work on your wants; on figuring out why do you need and want to spend? Is it the things you can buy? Is it the process? Can you start doing other things instead of shopping?

And do join the mother and baby group! When my son was young we had several Dads in the group and it was great.

Firewalker

foxgloves

Don't do it!! This month, me & partner are debt-free after over 20 years because every time either of us or both of us almost cleared it, we spent money & ran the debt up again!! Those empty credit cards need to be viewed differently. They are there only for an emergency, not for spends & treats. I should chop one up & get rid of it. I know I've posted this before, but if you are having to put whatever it is on a card, extend an overdraft or borrow on a loan to buy whatever it is then you can't afford it. Simple as! Get the rest of your debts paid off, then put the money you were using for this aside until you have enough to walk into a shop full of nice shiny new TVs etc, look for the best deal within your price range & pay for it outright. As someone who continually sabotaged our earlier efforts to become debt-free, I'd advise you not to walk straight back into the 'must have it now' mentality which is what gets us all into trouble in the first place. If you've been used to sticking everything straight onto a card, you'll find there's nothing like the feeling of being able to buy something with the money you've saved for it. As soon as you've handed it over, the item is yours & you are not paying for it plus all the interest for the next god knows how many years. Be strong. Pay it off & then buy things when you have saved the money for them. I sound like my Mum but it has finally worked for us!

hudgebadger

smithers1981 wrote: »

i find the combination of days off and 2year old to entertain can be expensive

At 2 they are not very easy to entertain. I will suggest a couple of things that might be of use and I am sure that other people will offer up activities as well

• Cooking (Rock cakes, fairy cakes etc...) A chance to get sticky and enjoy the fruits of you labour
• Colouring/sticking/ gluing. We have 4 draws of colouring and gluing stuff that the kids love to do
• Visit to the park. It is free and is great to get out and meet other mums/dads in the area.
• Library. Short trip to the library is fun, lots of books to look through and stories to read. Also great for picking up bedtime books as well.

I hope that is enough to start you off and all of the above cost very little to do, and are activities that will help you enjoy your time with your child

Finally I would look at yourself at why you need to spend money to begin with. Is it to feel better about you or about feeling empowered? The list is endless and only you can answer that

Hope all the above helps

timbstoke

You need to get a bit of Spreadsheet Therapy! You don’t have £13,000 of available splurge money, you have £15,000 debt. Until you recognise the difference, you’re not going to be in the right mindset to get anywhere. Do two things:

One: Look at your last months statements for all your accounts. Find the Interest and Fees sections. Figure out how much interest you’re paying each month. That number is how much money you’re quite literally throwing into the bin every single month, and have been doing for as long as you’ve had these debts.

Two: Open a new spreadsheet on Payday. In it, record the exact balance of EVERY account you have – current accounts, loans, cards, catalogues, car payments, mortgage, EVERYTHING. Add all the numbers together, with debts counting as negative numbers. That big minus figure you see is your Net Worth. Once a week (it should really be daily, but we’ll work up to that), check the balance again, and categorise where your money’s gone. It can be as detailed or as vague as you like – mine is simply Bills, Fees (interest is a fee, not a bill), Cash Withdrawals and Everything Else, but I also record where each transaction was spent, and recategorise cash if it was withdrawn for a particular purpose. The next month, look at it again and see exactly where your money is going. Look at how much you paid towards your debts, and how much of that payment actually reduced the balance.

If the first task doesn’t shock you into submission, the second should do.