Debt Free Partners

MustStopSpending

Does anyone else have difficulty with their partners who aren't in debt and earn lots of money? My boyf moans that I'm always skint, likes to eat out lots and can buy whatever he wants and doesn't understand that I'm trying to sort myself out.

He bought me a lovely top the other day, for no reason, and all I could think was, that cost him £55, I could've used that money to pay off some debt! Does that make me ungrateful?!

Life is confusing sometimes!!

immoral_angeluk

NO that doesn't make you ungrateful, it makes you realistic and commited to paying off your debts. Personally I would say to him that it's alright for him having no debts and earning loads of money!

ZTD

immoral_angeluk wrote:

NO that doesn't make you ungrateful, it makes you realistic and commited to paying off your debts. Personally I would say to him that it's alright for him having no debts and earning loads of money!

But equally - it's not his fault either.

What I would ask would be: Would you view his gifts differently if you weren't in debt? If so, remember it's also not his fault you're in debt. If he can afford it, and isn't damaging his own finances, then you should accept gifts as graciously as they are given.

Imelda

I can kind of empathise, my OH is debt (and almost mortgage) free, he earns 4x what I do.
When we first started going out I was adamant that I was going to pay half for everything (and led to me being in debt as a consequence), but over the past few months I have relaxed. When we go out, I give him what I am able to afford, then it is up to him if we eat/ drink somewhere more expensive.
If he wants to buy you things you should just let him, it is his choice!

I_was_a_fool

Me & OH pool our money & split it 50-50 although he earns more than I do. So all the debt is our debt, even though it is mostly my fault....some day we will be in the black & actually have funds to share :rotfl:

climbgirl

Hmmmm let me defend your partner a bit here, I'm kind of in a similar position in that my BF is in debt and I'm not. Also earning a lot more than he does. I can totally see your point (and I wish my BF was as diligent about his debts as you sound ) but I also sympathise with him.

I'm in the position where I'm earning a good salary, saving for the future and if I want to spend money on stuff that seems frivilous to others, then that's my perogative. And it's probably equalling as frustrating from his point of view as it is from yours.

It's really, really tricky when you're dating someone who can't keep up moneywise, it's something I'm trying to sort out now. I won't fund my BF (and to his credit he doesn't want that either), but having said that if I want to travel lots and go out lots then I'm not going to let his lack of funds stop me either.

There's no easy answer here I'm afraid, but I just wanted to post from his perspective as well!

CAFCGirl

I find it even worse when you're in debt, theyre in debt but you're the only one who faces the situation.

My BF and I have seperate finances and debts, and I'm trying desperately hard to get myself back to the black, (one day) and he just wants to have fun etc etc and wont consider a future